Do you think this is a good idea for my husband? (male, issues)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Yes he had. I just feel sorry for their son. I really felt like he was not given the choice. And really felt he was deprived of a relationship with his biological father. That's all. And then I found out she did EXACTLY the same thing to the 2nd husband....?
Don't feel sorry for the birth-son. When he is an adult (if he isn't already) he will have the same opportunity to look for his birth-father if he is interested as you have had to track him down.
There are some adoptee registry websites available where birth parents and adoptees can post known information (birth date, birth place, etc). If the person wants to find info on their parent or child and the person who wants to be found is there, it can happen.
If anything, you can find one of those sites and ask your husband if you'd like him to register his info for him. Keep in mind that your husband may not want to be found....and the birth-son may not care to look.
I've known people on both sides of the equation. Some have ZERO interest in contacting their parent/child even if they know who and where they are. Others have made it a mission to track down a parent or child. The bottom line here is that it isn't YOUR call to make.
Yes he had. I just feel sorry for their son. I really felt like he was not given the choice. And really felt he was deprived of a relationship with his biological father. That's all. And then I found out she did EXACTLY the same thing to the 2nd husband....?
He's in his 20s. He's an adult. He has the choice, and to this point has chosen not to have a relationship with his bio father. He doesn't need you to feel sorry for him.
[CENTER]Save[/CENTER]
Don't feel sorry for the birth-son. When he is an adult (if he isn't already) he will have the same opportunity to look for his birth-father if he is interested as you have had to track him down.
There are some adoptee registry websites available where birth parents and adoptees can post known information (birth date, birth place, etc). If the person wants to find info on their parent or child and the person who wants to be found is there, it can happen.
If anything, you can find one of those sites and ask your husband if you'd like him to register his info for him. Keep in mind that your husband may not want to be found....and the birth-son may not care to look.
Unless they had it legally stripped (which is rare), the bio-dad's name is right on the birth certificate. The son would have very little trouble finding dad if he wanted to.
I'm sorry, but this is not fixable. He can't be made into the right guy.
Why did you say that? Do you really think I will still be married to him if he really is an awful person? I am not stupid you know, nor a martyr, excuse me.
No. I actually want to. Why he signed it. But I know he won't like it. He really does not want to discuss it.
I believe you. It's not something most people would be proud of having done.
Knowing he doesn't like to discuss it though, I do have to wonder why you ever thought it would be a good idea to surprise him with his long lost son. WOW.
Another idea - just let it go. Let it all go. It happened a long time ago. Quit poking around. Quit obsessing about his ex wife. The time to do all that is long past.
No. Now that many of you has scared me to death. Bear in mind I already am scared of the ex. She is what you call lawsuit magnet.
Then why are you even thinking about her?
Your husband isn't paying her any child support. They don't have a child together (he gave that child up for adoption). They got divorced a long time ago.
Why are you even THINKING about this woman? That's what you really need to figure out.
Oh yikes I would not interfere with his family dynamics. I would let him know that you found his son and I would let the son know where his father is, and let the two of them work it out....or not. My only living relative besides my brother is his daughter that he threw away as a baby. I was open to meeting her and discussed the idea with her mother. She was not receptive. Okay. I was fine with that too. Just because you're blood, doesn't mean you're family.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
