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You can always make it career-related, like a networking thing. But you should invite others too.
Is she attractive? I am wondering if this infatuation would even exist if she wasn't. Or if you had a girlfriend.
I'm not infatuated with her. I just find her to be an extremely nice person, and who would make a great potential friend -- after all, as a person gets older, it can be very challenging to find genuinely kind people to be able to have as a real friend, and not merely as an acquaintance. Also maybe a great way to make additional friends, since as I mentioned, her co-workers are very nice. Nothing more, nothing less. Her physical appearance doesn't matter to me.
ETA: inviting others is 100% cool with me; the reason I had initially thought of talking to just her individually was simply because in general, I tend to prefer to talk to people on more of a "one-on-one" basis, rather than in group settings.
Don't be overly friendly with anyone at work. I've never really known it to go very well. Be cordial and professional. Come in, get your work done, see if anyone needs help, then leave work.
Thanks for your thoughts and feedback. Question: since she has already been super-friendly to me herself on her end, is it also acceptable of me to reciprocate the friendliness to her as well? And if not, do I run the risk of seeming cold or impersonal?
As far as friends and work, I really only have one other lasting professional relationship who I also consider to be a real and genuine friend: one of my former supervisors, who has since left/retired from the workplace. He is one of the kindest people I have ever known, and I honestly and very deeply respect, admire, and look up to him.
Actually, I met my husband aT work while we were both married to other people! And, no, we did not start dating or have any kind of romantic relationship until I left the company and we had separated from our spouses -- neither separation being a result of the work friendship in any way, btw. (In fact, we had known each other for over two years before we even kissed! Our relationship went from being co-workers to being friendly to being friends -- and we have now been married for 30 years!)
All of this is just to illustrate "never say never."
Last edited by katharsis; 02-17-2017 at 03:45 PM..
Lunch is fine. Like "Would you be free for lunch sometime this week? I wanted to ask about your vacation in France, because I was thinking along those lines" or "Do you have any interest in trying that new Greek restaurant across the street? I'd like to go and was asking around for someone who might like to come."
Thanks for your helpful comments. Since my workplace has its own cafeteria as well, would it be acceptable to arrange for lunch in a group setting, including her, at the on-site cafeteria? That would most likely be the easiest method logistically (since otherwise, going off-site would very likely require the group to have to use PTO, due to the time it would take to go to and from the closest place within walking distance)?
"im going to ________ for some take out for lunch,,,,,would you like me to pick something up for you?
remember women are like cats...... men are like dogs..,,totally different temperament,,
ask a thoughtful question ike the one above..
or
"have you seen this movie yet"???
something harmless...and see what her response is,,,,even if she says no,,,,, thats ok,,,,like a cat you have to wait for her to come to you,,,,,,she knows you were trying to be nice.... and if she is interested she will come to you,,,,you opened the door...
just keep something in mind...married people can get real squirrely with any uninvited encroachment,,,,
what you may think of "friends" might be pushing a boundary
i use to ask married women how to cook something,,,,,tell them you got family coming over for dinner and got to cook a whole chicken...
if she likes you ....or is friendly she will go out of her way to help you ..
Thanks for your helpful comments. Since my workplace has its own cafeteria as well, would it be acceptable to arrange for lunch in a group setting, including her, at the on-site cafeteria? That would most likely be the easiest method logistically (since otherwise, going off-site would very likely require the group to have to use PTO, due to the time it would take to go to and from the closest place within walking distance)?
Just ask her to lunch at the on-site cafeteria. No need to use other people in your little scheme.
I sense that you may be fooling yourself (or us) about your intentions. If you don't have romantic intentions, you don't need to devise schemes. There is nothing inappropriate about having lunch with just her at the cafeteria if you are being honest about your intentions.
I don't think there's anything wrong with you asking her to go to lunch just you and her. If her bf is jealous over that, or she thinks that is weird, that is their problem and strange, in my opinion. People of opposite sexes go out to lunch all the time, just 2
Just ask her to lunch at the on-site cafeteria. No need to use other people in your little scheme.
I sense that you may be fooling yourself (or us) about your intentions. If you don't have romantic intentions, you don't need to devise schemes. There is nothing inappropriate about having lunch with just her at the cafeteria if you are being honest about your intentions.
OP:
This is true. Exactly what are your intentions regarding your female co-worker?
Just ask her to lunch at the on-site cafeteria. No need to use other people in your little scheme.
I sense that you may be fooling yourself (or us) about your intentions. If you don't have romantic intentions, you don't need to devise schemes. There is nothing inappropriate about having lunch with just her at the cafeteria if you are being honest about your intentions.
I honestly don't have any romantic designs on her. I don't think you understand, as I have mentioned in earlier posts on this thread that I would very.much like to befriend her co-workers as well, as I previously went with them also to an off-site meeting and lunch as part of work business, and they were all very nice people -- and so including them in a lunch group isn't intended in any way as a scheme, for me.
OP:
This is true. Exactly what are your intentions regarding your female co-worker?
So quick to assume the worst? As I said, I really and truly just want to be her friend. Pure and simple. Why so quick to judge?
Last edited by Phoenix2017; 02-17-2017 at 06:21 PM..
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As I said, I really and truly just want to be her friend. Pure and simple. Why so quick to judge? 
