How do You Pretend to Like Someone You Don't?

[katie45]

Originally Posted by silibran

Don't think about it as pretending to like her. Think of it as maintaining social ties that you need in your life. Adjust your facial expression to neutral, be civil, don't prolong your encounter, smile when you say goodbye.

Don't talk about her to others. And ask your wife not to talk about your dislike with others either.

If she is not a likable person, others will likely keep her at a distance, and she might not last in your circle of friends. If you are unreasonably disliking her, perhaps you can reevaluate later.

Treat her as if she was a boss whom you don't like but must get along with. But you don't have to do things for her, as you would with an unlikable boss. This is good social discipline.

Not necessarily because it could just be a personality clash while others in the group have no problem with that individual.

[1986pacecar]

Is there someone that I pretend to like? Yes, my boss.

[DavidSwain]

I noticed there were was something missing from your post, you never mentioned why you dislike the person, or if your wife feels the same way. By knowing both makes the picture more clear and easier for people to offer varied opinions/ideas/advice etc.

Everybody has a circle of friends / workmates where they dislike someone for varied reasons, some dislikes are justified, for whatever reason/s, while other dislikes can be classed as petty and childish.

With respects to you, and without pointing a finger, which of the 2 categories would you put your dislike for this person in?

Once you have made a choice, it will be easier for you to either reassess your dislike for her, or stand by your original reason for disliking her because you find it unforgivable.

From what you wrote in your post, I can only presume your wife likes the person, therefore, it puts you in an uncomfortable tripod situation.

Pretending to like the person is basically acting false toward that person, but more importantly, you yourself are putting yourself in an uncomfortable situation by continually pretending, and, every time the 3 of you are in the same gathering of friends means you have to continually keep up the false acting. Do you think you would feel comfortable within yourself in having to keep the false act going every time you are in each others company?

Note,

In some cases dislike can lead to hatred can lead to obsessive hatred.

I'd be interested in reading what you have decided to do.

[FlowerDarling]

Originally Posted by Scooby Snacks

Ah, the joys of living in a social world. It makes us do a lot of things we don't want to, "just to get along." There's a person in my extended friendship circle whom I no longer like. I'll call her Jeanette. We ran into her unexpectedly the other day, and after we finished talking to her, my wife told me I looked like I was sucking on a lemon during our conversation. She told me I didn't pretend to like her well enough, that I looked like I couldn't stand to be there, and that I had a duty to at least fake it a little bit, because we're in the position of encountering her often in our lives and we have to get along. I was mad. Why do I have to fake liking a person? But OK. Staying happily married is important, so I can do this. But how? How do you pretend to like someone?

Lemon is ok, at least you did not spit on her face or so. You don't have to pretend. Just try to focus on 1 little positive thing in her and it comes naturally. If not else then be happy that she is not peeing on your shoe or something

[MinivanDriver]

Originally Posted by Scooby Snacks

Ah, the joys of living in a social world. It makes us do a lot of things we don't want to, "just to get along." There's a person in my extended friendship circle whom I no longer like. I'll call her Jeanette. We ran into her unexpectedly the other day, and after we finished talking to her, my wife told me I looked like I was sucking on a lemon during our conversation. She told me I didn't pretend to like her well enough, that I looked like I couldn't stand to be there, and that I had a duty to at least fake it a little bit, because we're in the position of encountering her often in our lives and we have to get along. I was mad. Why do I have to fake liking a person? But OK. Staying happily married is important, so I can do this. But how? How do you pretend to like someone?

Quit being a stuck-up is a pretty good start.

If this is a person who has never done anything horrible to you, you don't necessarily have to be their buddy. But you should at least be civil. It's what adults do.

[tottsieanna]

Originally Posted by MinivanDriver

Quit being a stuck-up is a pretty good start.

If this is a person who has never done anything horrible to you, you don't necessarily have to be their buddy. But you should at least be civil. It's what adults do.

I agree, you can still be civil and polite to someone whom you dislike.

[staywarm2]

I agree, but it's easier if that person isn't spouting off about something you heartily disagree with. I run into this in my area, and they immediately assume I agree with them, when actually I surely do not. I just smile and try to change the subject or move on. But it does leave a sour taste...

[Mikala43]

Originally Posted by tottsieanna

I agree, you can still be civil and polite to someone whom you dislike.

Exactly. Unless they killed my puppy or something, my dislike is usually my problem and it's no justification for being rude to people.