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I am not sure maybe you could give more specifics about the situation.
I knew a woman a while back who decided I was off her social list when she found out my husband lost his job. I ran into her again a few months later at Barnes & Noble, she came for storytime in the kids section and I had brought my daughter there. She wanted to know if my personal life had improved. I asked her what she meant by that. She whispered "your husband, did he get another job" and she said it like it was some shameful thing. And when I told her yes, she said "well, we'll get together again some time, please text me". But I never contacted her. Mainly because I don't want my child exposed to people like her. I usually drop people before they get a chance to do that to me, once I get a whiff of their attitude. I'm gone.
Wow what a shallow person.
As for the OP it depends on the situation. Are you a drama queen and every little thing is a problem? If you are not and it is a "major" life altering event than I would hope my friends are there for me. But yeah lives are busy and people have their own troubles which will come before yours.
It depends how serious the problem is. If my spouse died and you cannot be there for me then you are not a friend. Most problems I have I don't need anyone to hold my hand.
I guess it depends how many times you are at your "lowest". Some people seem to constantly tread water -- everything bad happens to them, woe is them, why won't anyone help them? A friend may offer help once, twice -- but once you become a "project", most people are going to wander away.
Drop them or keep them?
These are long time friends.
I agree with many others that more information is needed. How blatant was the "not being there"? Were the friends aware that you really needed their suppost? What did you expect of them that was not forthcoming? And finally, in what way were you "at your lowest"?
Of course ultimately it's your call. The objective facts do not always translate into the emotional reality. If it would be a forced and awkward effort to be pleasant to these friends going forward, it would be better to drop them.
However, sometimes we encounter people because we are in the same social millieu. Therefore, if we are going to see them even if we don't want to, it's probably best to distance ourselves as much as we can without being rude or creating drama, but at the same time maintaining civility.
There is sometimes a middle ground. For example, if we receive an email, we can answer it very briefly rather than at the normal length. And we can stop initiating emails to that person without making an announcement about it. Ditto with phone calls.
I guess it depends how many times you are at your "lowest". Some people seem to constantly tread water -- everything bad happens to them, woe is them, why won't anyone help them? A friend may offer help once, twice -- but once you become a "project", most people are going to wander away.
Drop them or keep them?
These are long time friends.
Depends on the definition of "rough". I have a good friend that gave me a place to stay for 3 months right after I split from my ex. I was getting the house, but until the divorce was final, he stayed there. It was one of the few times in my life I needed someone "there" for me, and she delivered. Once in 15 years.
She has another friend that is always in need, usually financially. About every six months there's some sort of "emergency" that requires quite a bit of money to fix. She calls my friend, who delivered the first few times, then stopped. The person having the rough time now tells everyone she knows what a horrible person my friend is, because she's never "there" for her.
I had a friend who knew I was going to the hospital to give birth. I never heard from her again and we had been friends for 20 years.
Then I had another friend that had been in my life since we were 11. She got married and stopped talking to everyone until her divorce 5 years later. We are now good friends again.
Drop them or keep them?
These are long time friends.
If they can't be there for you when you need them the most, they aren't friends. They are acquaintances.
It is dysfunctional to make excuses for them.
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