Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
OP, honestly - you and your mom are TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE. It's ok for you to have different opinions from each other. You really need to cut this umbilical cord and let it go.
Everything is not about you.
You sound like MY mom - she can't stand for me to have an opinion or belief that differs from hers. She takes it as some sort of personal rejection. It's ridiculous. Like I said, it's not about her. Has nothing to do with her. I am my own person and she is her own person.
She does not accept the part of me which accepts gay marriages. Also before I voted gay candidate and I would then lift, in her mind, a gay person to create policies how she should live... I feel her raging is towards me and me being open arms with people no matter hetero or gay. Like she cannot accept me as she does not accept gay marriages either.
I just cannot understand how sexual orientation would define a person in her mind. Why put a person down just for being gay? Can I ever trust her if she is not righteous toward all people equally? I am sorry, right now I feel she is a demon and not my mother..
When the subject comes up, are you adamant about it? Do you yell your side of the story on the highest mountaintops?! Do you go out and attend every gay rights rally and march?! Or do you just "accept" it and move on? Maybe she has a problem with you being so "vocal" about it. Gay rights/marriages seems like it really affects you (considering you yourself aren't gay).
Apparently I am asking ways to solve this problem. She is usually calm but now she raged over this subject. If she is ready to take rights away from gay people and settle them as second class human beings I really cannot just "move on".
What if my child one day would be gay? Then I should pick either my son/daughter or my mother. I don't understand why my mother would not allow gays to be loved, perhaps she would not allow my kid some day to be loved and live free like everyone else. Free to praise their love.
Why she would not wish love and good to her own gay granddauhter/son? How she can be so evil that such a thing than being gay would be more important to her than human relationships? Than human beings? Than family love? That is horrible!
Who brings up the subject? If it is you (and it sounds as though it may be), it is your fault. If it is her, then it is still your problem if you don't just smile and say 'Mom, perhaps we shouldn't discuss that issue since we know we disagree'. Both can be dealt with the same way - you smile and hug her and walk away.
If you choose to make an issue of this - and it does sound as though you are - then you are the one with the problem, not her. It seems that if you want to fight this battle you should also realize none of this is really likely about this particular issue. It is about your need to control, most likely. Is this the hill on which you wish to die?
My mother cannot stand gay marriages and I am having hard time to stand my mother right now. I am not not lesbian but I would never believe my mother would judge gays having the same rights.
Tell mom to relax. She doesn't have to marry a gay person if she doesn't want to.
I think it's best for this particular thread that we ignore those who are posting opinions other than on how to handle people in our lives that have opposing views & beliefs. Otherwise, this thread will devolve and will not be helpful to anyone.
Unless the OP is gay I don't see how the mom's unfavorable opinion of same sex marriage is relevant. Just agree to disagree and change the subject (that is if you still want to have a relationship with your mom).
My mom believes all sorts of crazy stuff. I am not in charge of her brain, so it's not my job to change her beliefs. I just avoid certain subjects to keep the peace.
OP it's unfortunate that your mom feels that way. I'm gay and plan to marry my boyfriend one day, and would want my parents to be there, which they've already said they would.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
