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Well I wouldn't say this is a situation unique to millennials.
I would say I wouldn't extend myself to her again in regards to helping her obtain employment.
Regardless of how upset she is, not everyone is kind enough to do what you did.
There are people who once they find out someone got laid off treat them like they have a contagious disease. People who could actually open some doors for the person out of work but don't offer.
Unless she actually picks up the phone(not a text) and apologizes within the next day or two for not getting back to you I wouldn't bother.
Do you ever hear from her on just a social basis, or was this just because she got laid off?
Every once in a while. Maybe once a year.
Another guy I know is like that, too. He would send me this desperate plea, saying, "Hey, I'm desperate! I need a job fast! Do you know of anything? Have any leads?!?"
Like the person I describe in the original post, I called this guy immediately. And he doesn't. Pick. Up. Then he can't understand why he can't find a freaking job.
Here's the deal. In the real world -- you know, the world of mature, non-neurotic adults -- people don't have time for games, especially from those asking their help.
Whether you like it or not, the ability to pick up a telephone and have an actual conversation is part and parcel of being employable in just about every professional job there is. It is not some relic of a bygone age. Communication remains one of the key, indispensable qualities one must have to have any kind of decent job. You have to be able to speak with people and listen to them. And that means actually picking up a phone and using your actual voice to do it.
So let me tell you about so many women over 50 I have met who are total flakes It does not mean they all are...I hope, lol. And I'm sure not all or even most Millennials are socially inept.
Another guy I know is like that, too. He would send me this desperate plea, saying, "Hey, I'm desperate! I need a job fast! Do you know of anything? Have any leads?!?"
Like the person I describe in the original post, I called this guy immediately. And he doesn't. Pick. Up. Then he can't understand why he can't find a freaking job.
Here's the deal. In the real world -- you know, the world of mature, non-neurotic adults -- people don't have time for games, especially from those asking their help.
Whether you like it or not, the ability to pick up a telephone and have an actual conversation is part and parcel of being employable in just about every professional job there is. It is not some relic of a bygone age. Communication remains one of the key, indispensable qualities one must have to have any kind of decent job. You have to be able to speak with people and listen to them. And that means actually picking up a phone and using your actual voice to do it.
I am a Boomer and that line (bolded) is the very reason why I believe I was able to get pretty well any job I applied for, even if I was less academically or even experientially qualified than other candidates/potential candidates - because I responded and communicated in a way that (I have been told) made employers see me as intelligent and interested and enabled them to feel comfortable about hiring me and not those others.
I expect there are many younger people who can still 'communicate' (and actually DO) but sadly I see less and less indication out here in 'internet-land' that many are that competent any more. For many in the 'millennial' category, I think it does probably have to do with having their brains now wired for less than 140 character thoughts. They are also far more adept at 2 thumb typing, and an acronym-ic (is that a word?) way of 'communicating' than with the two handed, complete thought, spelled out technique I might use. How they conduct any in-depth conversation via voice eludes me but it doesn't surprise me when they can't. If I am depending on them to respond in a timely manner about anything, I already know that is silly of me in most cases.
That said .. people of all ages are different. My 33 year old daughter is very bright and capable (and is a teacher) but she is incredibly hard to get a response from for weeks at a time even if she asked me for help. She abhors using email and never picks up the phone either but, she is constantly 'texting' (though not to me because she wouldn't get a response from me if she did). My 48 year old son refuses to have an answering machine, doesn't own a cellphone or a computer, has never written an email or a text in his life, and getting him to answer the phone is a lost cause most of the time (but if he does answer he is very communicative, engaging and speaks incredibly intelligently .. and you would hire him in a second if you could). My middle child uses the computer and has a cell phone but if you call him you would hang up because he speaks in very short, almost text-like sentences and each one 'ends' the conversation somehow.
I find many people---in many age groups, but especially millennials---to want instant communication or they forget all about it. My kids, age 18 & 19, are like this. They are literally glued to their phones, constantly texting. I tell them its rude to interrupt a conversation we're having to respond to a text. Let them leave a message and respond later. They say they "have" to respond. Apparently everyone in their peer groups expect instant answers to texts. If there's no reply, they simply move on and forget all about it. They never scroll back to see if a message was left and respond.
Example--my dd asked me to schedule her a dental appointment. I responded two days later with the details, and asked her if she could meet it. NO response. That left me hanging. I didn't know if I should keep the appointment for her, if she could meet it, or I should re-schedule, etc. Apparently she expected an immediate response or she just forgot all about it. Why doesn't she make her own appointments? She literally doesn't know how No, she's not MR---she just can't use a phone! I finally just gave her the dentist phone number and told her she makes her own appointments, don't involve me in the future.
These kids literally can't function using the phone. Its all texting, tweets, etc. and if not immediate, they can't handle taking/responding to messages and forward communications. Guess that's just how they are!
Another guy I know is like that, too. He would send me this desperate plea, saying, "Hey, I'm desperate! I need a job fast! Do you know of anything? Have any leads?!?"
Like the person I describe in the original post, I called this guy immediately. And he doesn't. Pick. Up. Then he can't understand why he can't find a freaking job.
Here's the deal. In the real world -- you know, the world of mature, non-neurotic adults -- people don't have time for games, especially from those asking their help.
Whether you like it or not, the ability to pick up a telephone and have an actual conversation is part and parcel of being employable in just about every professional job there is. It is not some relic of a bygone age. Communication remains one of the key, indispensable qualities one must have to have any kind of decent job. You have to be able to speak with people and listen to them. And that means actually picking up a phone and using your actual voice to do it.
You're preaching to the choir.....LOL.
I agree with you a 100%, that's why I asked how often you hear from her.
In fact if you don't hear back and she did it again, I would flat out tell her "I was more than willing to help you, but you never got back to me, and that is coming across as flaky, I can't recommend you because I don't even know if you would show up for the interview if I knew of something".
As you know anytime we recommend someone and for some reason it doesn't work out, as unfair as it is, it becomes somehow your fault.
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