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Through a series of untoward events, I found myself a few years ago virtually all alone in the world, having lost over a series of several years my mother for whom I'd been caring for years, my fiance of over a decade, my "tribe" of close bosom friends with whom I did everything, several other relatives with whom I was in constant contact, my best friend at work along with many longtime coworkers who retired, all the lifelong neighbors around the home I had to sell, daily contact with my only sibling with whom I no longer shared pertinent matters, and even my doctor and dentist of many years. At first I was absolutely terrified. Not only of being physically alone at night in a house, but it was just such a change and took some adjustment. I also feared for my mental and emotional health, as I'd always heard that you can't survive without other people in your life and that, in fact, social isolation makes you go crazy. Well, surprise; I didn't (I don't think). In fact, after a while, I got quite used to it and now prefer it.
Absolutely. I avoid stores that don't have it and shop online if possible.
This "contact" to which you refer has no value to me. What usually happens is the cashier is busy talking to another and very slowly scanning my stuff. Even at Costco, when I recognize checkers who've been working there for over a decade, they don't recognize ME. We literally have nothing to say to each other. They're just machines made of meat.
I have connections with my UPS driver and some of the people at the UPS store. I have lively conversations with a pharmacy clerk I see once a month. Used to have a friend at our local post office who I'd see daily, until he retired. All of those people made an effort to connect.
I think you are portraying the people who responded to this thread in a very black-and-white manner as if we were weird outliers. We're not.
The "contacts" which I have with cashiers at various places have no value to me either, but I don't mind them and I don't take any steps to avoid them. I don't care if they recognize me or not. I am fine with exchanging a few meaningless pleasantries (or perhaps not), then I am out the door with my purchases.
As for your final paragraph, I think it's an unfair assessment. Have you read all my posts in this thread, or just the one you quoted and responded to? I do admit I find it strange that people go out of their way to avoid checking out with a human cashier because it's something I don't understand. However, that's not the same as condemning the practice and arguing that you shouldn't do it. You are harming no one by your efforts to avoid human cashiers and I respect your right to do so. But I still don't understand it.
I have lived the life of a recluse for about 20 years. For me it is a form of protection from betrayal, conflict and abandonment born out of a hard life. I know it is not healthy per se but I am slowly working on changing it, though I still retreat to the safety of my small apartment.
A wise person once said to me, "Just Be... A human being vs a human doing". Click here for a link to an article
It has been interesting and also very surprising to me to note the large number of posters who prefer to be recluses. It is the common wisdom that we have evolved as a social species dependent on mutual cooperation for our survivial. Medicial epidemiologists claim that social isolation is not conducive to good health and vitality.
Yet we all know that we are not all the same, so it's not difficult for me to believe that some people can thrive quite well and be content as recluses. What surprises me is the large number who have found their way into this particular thread.
Let me be clear on one thing: A recluse who has freely chosen that path is harming no one and I don't see anything wrong with it, even as it remains a path I do not understand personally.
To answer your earlier question: Perhaps we don't like being classed as part of a large, singled-out group. I certainly don't. I don't like to be picked at.
Recluse. Alone. In seclusion. Apart. Away from prying eyes.
To answer your earlier question: Perhaps we don't like being classed as part of a large, singled-out group. I certainly don't.
Recluse. Alone. In seclusion. Apart.
Clear now?
No, not at all clear. We are all part of various groups, from huge groups such as gender (roughly half of humanity), to nationalities, to occupations, to religious affiliations (or lack thereof), on down to smaller and smaller groups. I am part of a relatively small group whose members are passionate fans of classical music. I stand apart in that respect, and it is neither good nor bad; it just is.
The very thread title here (please re-read it) sets up a group (recluses) and poses the question whether we would be interested in being part of it. So yes, it is a "singled-out group" for the purposes of this thread, just as classical music lovers would be a singled-out group in a thread asking if we are part of that group.
There is nothing wrong with exploring people's preferences, attitudes, and practices with regard to the amount of human interaction they want. That is what I have been engaged in in this thread.
It should be clear also that all this is on a continuum; it is not an either/or. On one extreme would be someone who seeks total, or near-total seclusion. That is, the ideal would be never to interact in person with anybody else. (Practicality usually makes that impossible, I would imagine). The other extreme would be someone who needs near constant contact with others, and perhaps the more others the better, and who feels uncomfortable with even small amounts of alone time. The vast majority of us fall somewhere between those extremes.
There is nothing wrong with my stating that seeking to avoid human cashiers seems rather extreme to me because that is my feeling and I make no apologies for it. It would be an entirely different matter if, for example, I stated that those people should seek counseling in order to change their preferences. That is not my position.
I don't know how many times I need to repeat myself that recluses are not harming anyone else and have the right to pursue that life style before it will sink in that I am advocating tolerance and acceptance. I can tolerate and accept something which I don't understand and which seems strange to me, but no amount of explanation on my part will suffice if you are determined to see some sort of attack in that position.
I'm 33, and I already feel like I'm a recluse. I don't really see any reason to be around so many people that don't really say anything more than hello, or some small talk.
I have just given up on trying to chase people down for a little meaningless socialization. If it were up to me we would be living in a cabin in the woods, but the wife wants to be close enough to her family and friends.
Really the only reason I have a cell phone, or a "social" media account is that I'm afraid that I might miss some one trying to get a hold of me....still hasn't happened.
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