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What the OP wants to do is find a man to impregnate her then not tell him she is pregnant. She says she wouldn't want him to know he has a child and she wouldn't ask for child support. In other words, the child will grow up never knowing his/her father.
Unless she has a good paying, stable career and family willing to help, it is going to be very difficult being a single mother. And expensive, doing it all on one income.
I understand that she wants someone she knows and likes to impregnate her, then go away and ignore any offspring that comes from their relationship. And that child will be born with the job of loving her and taking care of her when she's old. No kid should be born with a job. Plus can't imagine any decent man agreeing to that. Pregnancy often takes multiple attempts, are you prepared to ask him to keep sleeping with you until you get pregnant, then leaving you alone?
This sort of thing is what doing artificial insemination avoids. Not that I'm on board with only one parent on purpose anyway. Two parents are beneficial to kids, even if a couple is split up. They're both still parents to the kids. That's different than "you don't have a dad because I didn't want you to have one".
I understand that she wants someone she knows and likes to impregnate her, then go away and ignore any offspring that comes from their relationship. And that child will be born with the job of loving her and taking care of her when she's old. No kid should be born with a job. Plus can't imagine any decent man agreeing to that. Pregnancy often takes multiple attempts, are you prepared to ask him to keep sleeping with you until you get pregnant, then leaving you alone?
This sort of thing is what doing artificial insemination avoids. Not that I'm on board with only one parent on purpose anyway. Two parents are beneficial to kids, even if a couple is split up. They're both still parents to the kids. That's different than "you don't have a dad because I didn't want you to have one".
I couldn't even imagine telling a kid something like that.
Especially a son.
I'm not saying that I wouldn't want the child to have a father. All I'm saying is that I don't want a husband. The father could be apart of the child's life I guess maybe I worded this question wrong.
Like if you knew a man or woman who you were friends with but didn't want to have a romantic relationship with that person. Yet you still wanted to have a child with them?
Absolutely not. When you have a child, the other parent is part of your life forever. Every child deserves 2 parents.
Like if you knew a man or woman who you were friends with but didn't want to have a romantic relationship with that person. Yet you still wanted to have a child with them?
I know of a woman who selected a man, who she had never known before, to be the biological father of her child. She used photos, descriptions and references from others, to make her tentative choice. Then she traveled halfway across the country to meet him and make her own decision about his suitability. He thought he had met a good woman who was interested in having a full and continuing relationship with him.
But the day she determined she was pregnant, she vanished from his life, as she had apparently intended to do, all along. Just before she left, she had feigned having her monthly period, so that the guy wouldn't have any suspicion about a pregnancy. It was two years later, before this guy discovered what had happened and that a child existed. By accident, he got one brief glimpse of the child (a boy) and thought that he looked like an exact double of him, at the same age. Since the woman then knew that he was aware of the boy's existence, she immediately left the area and ended all contact with her family and friends, for fear they would lead him to where she was.
No information about her or the son has ever surfaced and it's obvious that the boy has no idea who his father is. The woman's best friend was visited in another state, during her flight away from here, but she wouldn't tell even her, where she was going. The guy's best suspicion is that she headed for a commune in New Mexico, where she had lived for a year, previously. But those places are impenetrable by outsiders and they harbor and support many women who take their children there to raise, after they have seized their sole custody, without legal process.
Thank you and I understand this is not something I would rush into. I would think a lot about it before hand. And be sure I am financially able to provide for the child. I was just curious as to what other people thought about this I like knowing people's opinions. It's not something to take lightly I know having a child is a lot of work.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sansea
YES. I would.
Here are the conditions:
If I liked them and trusted them,
and wanted to have a baby with them,
and they wanted to have a baby with me...
and I could afford it,
and had friends support,
and family support,
and was surrounded by love.
Then absolutely yes.
However:
You don't say how old you are. Having a baby is a very serious adult responsibility.
We all have different paths. And I honor yours.
Just please be careful. This new soul will depend on you for everything.
So it can't be a whim or a wish, or fun, or something to love.
If you have an impulse from deep within, and you know that it's right (on all levels) to have this baby, then yes.
For everyone's sake, including yours, be wise... and you will be blessed.
I had a cousin who just recently did this. She wanted a baby more than anything. Was married for 8 years and wanted a baby but the husband didn't. When they divorced, she just wanted to get pregnant by anyone. Well she succeeded and now has a child. She doesn't want the dad in his life at all and I don't think he's on the birth certificate or pays child support or anything. I actually think she tricked him by claiming to be on birth control.
Anyways, I find it selfish and very sad, both for her and the baby. It's one thing to be a single parent by default if it was an accident, but to go do it on purpose is selfish and crazy. Whose going to watch the baby when you have to work? Oops forgot to think about that, or is the sperm donor going to still be there 2-3-7 years down the road? He/she just doesn't ever get to know what it's like to have a dad? Super unfair.
Adopt a puppy or something, please don't do this. If you can't find a partner who is committed enough to stay and have children with you, don't have children. And no, you don't know that taking care of a child is a lot of work until you have one and have done it. You make think that you know but you have no idea.
Of course you'll do it anyways because you think you're smart and have baby fever. Don't say city data didn't warn you.
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