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Well, the problem is in her definition of "doing" laundry. She makes it clear that he folds up his laundry, but that she puts them in the dryer, and that she also starts the machines. Honestly, this just doesn't really sound like "doing" laundry to me. It sounds like helping with some laundry, and she made it clear that she does this because "these are different machines" than the ones he has. So it sounds like she's getting herself into this because she isn't just showing him how to use the machines
The OP also said she puts it in the dryer to make sure its not still going when the higher rates starts. To me it sounds like the OP is rushing to put the clothes in the dryer as soon as the washer stops, and the son isn't even really given a chance to do his own laundry.
The OP also said she puts it in the dryer to make sure its not still going when the higher rates starts. To me it sounds like the OP is rushing to put the clothes in the dryer as soon as the washer stops, and the son isn't even really given a chance to do his own laundry.
Could be but either way, it sure seems like much ado about nothing to me.
Could be but either way, it sure seems like much ado about nothing to me.
Agree..
If the rates change issue is a real thing, then all she has to do is to tell him when he arrives what the hours for washing are . Problem solved.
I think she is OCD about anyone using the washer and says yes anyway because she realizes that it is her issue.
This is a family member who is 36, married, good job, 2 kids under 5. Whenever he visits he asks to use the washer/dryer on the day they leave. I have never had anyone, relative or friend, ask to use our washer and dryer to do their clothes.
Honestly, it really bugs me. I do enjoy their visits, but seriously, I already have to cook and clean up after them, plus change the sheets and towels and wash them, so I have to do their laundry too? To be clear, I plan for their visit and create daily menus, have their beverages on hand, what the kids like to eat etc. I just don't get this quirk of doing their laundry before they leave. They have their own house with a washer/dryer and his wife doesn't work so ???
Am I wrong to feel this way?
No, you're not wrong. I had the same situation with a family member. Bugged the heck out of me, for the same reasons.
BTW, I recall that most, or even all, of the people who washed their clothes at the end of their vacation did it themselves, they did not ask their hosts to do it. However, some hosts were grumpy because their friends or relatives used their hot water, detergent and electricity plus could not/did not spend time with them on their last day because of doing the laundry.
And that is why it bugged me when my family member did her laundry before she left. Yes, she did the laundry herself. But like you said, she was using more of my hot water, detergent, and electricity, after she and her family already spent a week doubling my electricity and water usage (showers, rinsing bathing suits, teeth brushing, AC turned up in the guest portion of the house). They swam in our pool (more people=more chemicals). We provided 80% of the food and drink. We put miles on our car and used our gas to take them places. I did 90% of the kitchen cleanup while they were here, plus I had more cleanup to do after they left - cleaning the guest bathroom, vacuuming, washing the linens and towels - so many towels!
I didn't even have a chance to say No. "You don't mind if I do our laundry, do you?" she asked, as she loaded clothes in the washer. And I certainly didn't want to have an uncomfortable confrontation on the last day of the visit.
I felt used. Taken advantage of. Fortunately, I didn't have to deal with it again, as circumstances have prevented them from visiting.
When I go on vacation and stay in a hotel, I take home a suitcase full of dirty clothes. It's no big deal. Pack a plastic garbage bag for the dirty clothes to separate them from the not- or not-so-dirty clothes. It's not rocket science.
So, houseguests, don't ASSUME it's okay to do your laundry. And don't even ask. Wait for your host to suggest it. And if your host doesn't, then suck it up, and bring your dirty laundry home.
And that is why it bugged me when my family member did her laundry before she left. Yes, she did the laundry herself. But like you said, she was using more of my hot water, detergent, and electricity, after she and her family already spent a week doubling my electricity and water usage (showers, rinsing bathing suits, teeth brushing, AC turned up in the guest portion of the house). They swam in our pool (more people=more chemicals). We provided 80% of the food and drink. We put miles on our car and used our gas to take them places. I did 90% of the kitchen cleanup while they were here, plus I had more cleanup to do after they left - cleaning the guest bathroom, vacuuming, washing the linens and towels - so many towels!
Honestly, i understand being annoyed if houseguests don't make an effort to offset some of the expense by hosting a dinner out or helping with food or alcohol expenses, but if you are to the point you're nitpicking the cost of detergent, utility costs, and pool chemicals, I'd say it's time to do away with having a "guest portion of the house". Close it up and send your guests links to the nearest hotel.
Honestly, i understand being annoyed if houseguests don't make an effort to offset some of the expense by hosting a dinner out or helping with food or alcohol expenses, but if you are to the point you're nitpicking the cost of detergent, utility costs, and pool chemicals, I'd say it's time to do away with having a "guest portion of the house". Close it up and send your guests links to the nearest hotel.
I agree.
When I start keeping score on detergent and a few pennies of electricity the game is over, and I need to stop hosting guests.
I am sad for the people that feel that visits from relatives are such a drain.
We are usually fighting over who pays when we go out too, only it is
because we are all trying to pick up the tab.
And that is why it bugged me when my family member did her laundry before she left. Yes, she did the laundry herself. But like you said, she was using more of my hot water, detergent, and electricity, after she and her family already spent a week doubling my electricity and water usage (showers, rinsing bathing suits, teeth brushing, AC turned up in the guest portion of the house). They swam in our pool (more people=more chemicals). We provided 80% of the food and drink. We put miles on our car and used our gas to take them places. I did 90% of the kitchen cleanup while they were here, plus I had more cleanup to do after they left - cleaning the guest bathroom, vacuuming, washing the linens and towels - so many towels!
Why even allow houseguests if you feel this way & are nitpicking about electricity & showers & vacuuming? If I resented my visitors this much, I simply wouldn't allow them. I'm usually happy to see the people I've invited & I can't imagine counting pennies like this. Not to say it isn't an inconvenience to have guests, it is, but generally it's offset by the benefit of enjoying time with the visitors.
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