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I totally get the relationship side of it - I'm having a hard time understanding why YOU can't comprehend what I'm saying, but I'll repeat it (probably in vain but here goes):
What I have said over and over again is this - if someone calls me from an airport, or their car on a trip, or whatever - it genuinely never occurs to me to think, "Wow, they're just calling me to kill time or because they're bored, because they're making a long drive or sitting for two hours in the airport or whatever. THEY DON'T REALLY WANT TO TALK TO ME - THEY'RE JUST USING ME TO FILL THEIR TIME!"
Maybe I'm clueless. Or maybe I just have a healthy sense of self worth. Or maybe I just have really great friends and loved ones, I don't know - I just have never gone there in my mind.
I can hear it now - "Look, you're clearly calling me when you have time to spare. I mean, you clearly have nothing better to do in the airport than call and bug me. I'm offended." No - and I've gotten "airport calls." You know what I think when they call me from an airport? I think "Oh goodie, a call from So and So - awwww, they're thinking of me!" and I take the call if it's convenient to me and if I HAVE TIME TO SPARE AS WELL.
And guess what - when it's time to board, it's time to board. When it's time to go into an appointment, it's time to go into an appointment. Why be offended by someone getting off the phone then? Sheeze!
You're right - I don't get it. I don't get the need to read offense into that. I can't imagine being offended because my husband, or my daughter, or my brother, or whoever, says, "Hey, gotta go - they're boarding my flight now!" I'd be like, "Hey, OK - thanks for calling and hope you have a great flight!"
Of course there are doltish people who call from wherever whenever and only talk about themselves, or say insulting things, or (fill in the blank) but that's a whole other kettle of fish - I mean, THEY are the problem, not where they're calling from.
And maybe they are busy, and not filling time so much as multi-tasking. Again, as I asked in my earlier post, go by the relationship in general, and if the answer to the question "Is this person there for me when I need them?" is "Yes" then maybe give them the benefit of the doubt that they are busy and doing the best they can to keep up with their relationships. It IS hard in today's world.
Also, many people when bored feel like talking to someone they like. I'd probably be on with my bf to keep him company if he were at an airport bored. Why not be flattered that when they felt like reaching out to someone for ANY reason, they thought of you? Just saying, there is no real truth, just perception, and you can choose another way of looking at it. You seem to feel that unless someone is willing to sacrifice something to talk to you, they don't care enough about you.
Just because I call when I'm bored I'm still calling people I like and want to talk to. Same when my friends or family do that to me.
There is never a time where I call people I don't like just to chat.
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Here's what I honestly think about people calling when they're stuck in limbo someplace - be it the airport, waiting somewhere, whatever:
I don't mind if they call me. If I can talk, I'll talk. If I can't, I won't. It's really simple. But they were thinking about me and they called me - OK. I'm OK with that. But then, I don't have any friends or family who call me just to relieve their own boredom - at least I don't think they do. As long as we're having a decent, two sided conversation and it's convenient for both of us, I don't try to psychoanalyze why they called me at that particular time or from a particular place.
THAT'S the important thing to me - the bolded part.
Just got reminded of another good reason to text - gives you time to come up with an excuse/explanation/reason for something you really don't want to do - and not hurt the other person's feelers -
I think - and this is only me - that the ones that do not see this as an issue are those that like to jabber all day long.
I took a trip with a relative once - 14 hours on the road - she never stopped yapping. And since she is a business owner, also took phone calls all through the trip.
She left the daughters "in charge" but dang - they had to call and ask about every small transaction.
I would try to make a remark and she would start talking louder over me - it was weird.
A sibling was always on the phone. She does text, but loves to yap. It got so bad she had to have throat surgery. Ok - maybe that wasn't the cause - but you never know.
Had several conversations going on the phone at one time - switching back and forth.
I was amazed.
So I guess yappers stay yapping with other yappers and the rest of us will just watch.
Oh and I exercise with a couple of yappers - I've learned to just nod and make the occasional remark. They are nice ladies, but boy can they yap.
When I'm driving, my phone goes in my purse and I won't touch it, until I stop or am home. I will not use my phone while driving and Kathy, you know I love ya, but I wish you wouldn't either.
My parents are coming to visit this weekend, and my mom's car has bluetooth. They just called me from the car and have no idea how bluetooth works, so it was like talking to Statler and Waldorf.
So I guess yappers stay yapping with other yappers and the rest of us will just watch.
Hee. Yeah, I do think that could be part of the disconnect. Usually if I call someone it's because I have something at least sort of substantial to ask or tell them. So it'd be rude to do that while multitasking or whatever. But if you're just calling to yammer, then I guess why not do so at the DMV? Other than that it can be tiresome for the people around you, of course.
Not that there aren't plenty of Alaskan yappers (to use your term) but one thing I notice when I go to the lower 48 is that people seem REALLY uncomfortable with quiet. There's always a radio or a TV or someone just running their mouth to fill the quiet. I'm always relieved to come home where it's socially acceptable to just shut up.
having a cellphone can encourage rampant yapping, and then you have those who love to talk
Last edited by matisse12; 04-28-2017 at 02:32 PM..
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Just got reminded of another good reason to text - gives you time to come up with an excuse/explanation/reason for something you really don't want to do - and not hurt the other person's feelers -
