What would you do regarding extended stay guest (guilty, person, wedding)
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I just think the brother-in-law thinks because you have a big house and it's just you, that you would be willing to put them up. I hate when people just assume things like that.
Just tell him that you are not in any way prepared to host them, and it would be best if they stayed at a hotel. You should not have to sacrifice yourself for anyone. It's your house, it's your routine. People need to respect that. Don't downsize just because of that though. Do what YOU want.
Where I live, my husband and I, it's technically a 3 bedroom home. But we use two of the bedrooms as home offices. He has his own, I have mine. So we just tell people we live in a 1 bedroom home. This way, we do not have anyone expecting to stay with us while in town.
My gut is telling me that you're making more out of it than need be. My gut is also telling me that I feel a major wave of irritation at them putting you on notice that they expect to use you like a flop house.
That is the larger issue here. Family or not, no one should just expect to be used a free Bed and Breakfast.
I just think the brother-in-law thinks because you have a big house and it's just you, that you would be willing to put them up. I hate when people just assume things like that.
Just tell him that you are not in any way prepared to host them, and it would be best if they stayed at a hotel. You should not have to sacrifice yourself for anyone. It's your house, it's your routine. People need to respect that. Don't downsize just because of that though. Do what YOU want.
Where I live, my husband and I, it's technically a 3 bedroom home. But we use two of the bedrooms as home offices. He has his own, I have mine. So we just tell people we live in a 1 bedroom home. This way, we do not have anyone expecting to stay with us while in town.
My dad's wife died a few years ago. Her daughter and her husband would always stay with my dad and my step mother. They would come into town and would bring their boat and enjoy the lake. The lake is a major draw for the city that they lived in. They would pretty much just use them for free house stay so that they could sleep at their house and play on the boat all day. Instead of paying for a motel they would do that. I get it, it's cheaper and you can save some money but to me it's just tacky. They would hardly visit with my dad and his wife, her mother. They would just come and go and treat them like a free hotel.
It used to annoy me a bit. Well when my dad's wife passed and he wanted to sell the house and downscale and use some of the house sale proceeds to help fund his retirement the step daughter was upset and didn't want him to sell the house and wanted to use it as free hotel accommodations when they came into town.
The balls on some people and the gall. I just can't get over how some people just have no class. Never fails to amaze me at times. Thankfully my dad said screw it and still sold his place. My dad has since passed and I have another family member that is the executor of his will and now my step-sister has been fighting and hassling with her about the proceeds of my dad's estate. I mean once an asshat always an aszzhat apparently.
My husbands mother stays with my husbands brother for 4 to 6 weeks in the summer. I think it's ridiculous. It's something that recently started happening since they retired. They used to just stay a week...now it's 4 to 6. Im glad they dont stay with me but we're expected to visit weekly pretty much when she's in town, it's a long distance and often means the whole group going out tk eat and she and the boyfriend never help pay. I basically cant stand her because of this. I dont know how people dont realize that they may be putting someone else out. I also dont know how my sister in law puts up with it. My DH even thinks the length of time is too long. Six. Weeks. Ugh.
I have been thinking about downsizing for a couple of years but have procrastinated looking at the task of purging a life's worth of stuff and the not knowing for sure where I would go. This has me thinking maybe I need to sell and relocate to another area to avoid the matter all together.
You'd rather move than say no? Why do people find "no" to be so difficult?
"I'm sorry, I'm not up for hosting guests these days. But I can recommend some excellent hotels in the area."
You are not an azzhat. I'd be more than disgusted. They should be hosting you at their daughter's events (if you wanted to attend) & calling and taking you out to dinner when in area. 8 years no visiting back & forth, now free hotel? Not cool.
Are you in a rut? Do you want a change? Do you want to live in smaller easier care for place? Would it be financially smart? Regardless, you do need to go through all your accumulated stuff and weed out the unimportant & unnecessary---that junk can stack up.
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