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Old 04-29-2017, 02:23 PM
 
Location: Greenville, SC
701 posts, read 792,978 times
Reputation: 832

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Quote:
Originally Posted by hellob View Post
It's pretty terrible that you're the bad guy here and no one cared about breaking your sofa.
I agree! If I were you I would be hurt by the way they are treating you.



Marie
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Old 04-29-2017, 02:44 PM
 
Location: Phoenix, AZ > Raleigh, NC
15,035 posts, read 18,915,552 times
Reputation: 24074
Quote:
Originally Posted by lv2trvl View Post
I agree! If I were you I would be hurt by the way they are treating you.



Marie
I totally agree, but remember what the OP said in their 2nd sentence of her post.

"Close family members who I care a lot about are obese"

I'm assuming the OP WANTS to spend time with these family members. I also think it's important to note that these folks are going thru the trouble of traveling (not easy for anybody these days) AND paying for two plane tickets.

My suggestion aimed to solve a problem to allow OP to continue her relationship with her family. Sometimes that's more important than money or hurt feelings.

I hope it works out, emoticoo.
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Old 04-29-2017, 02:54 PM
 
Location: Southwest Washington State
21,651 posts, read 14,239,850 times
Reputation: 30301
if this family member is not very mobile, doesn't he or she use a walker with a built in seat?

I don't feel you are deserving of criticism here. You did the best you could.

If you want to accommodate your relative but can't afford to buy what is needed, ask the person to go halves for something he or she could sit on. Someone who is morbidly obese has to have help simply to do daily living. It can't be a surprise that larger, sturdier things are harder to locate and afford. It also can't be surprising that normal furniture will sometimes fail.
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Old 04-29-2017, 03:21 PM
 
Location: Striving for Avalon
1,424 posts, read 2,087,429 times
Reputation: 3348
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
The spouse sounds very similar to the codependent person in a relationship with an alcoholic or drug addict. Instead of acknowledging that the problem lies with his or her spouse, he or she blames it on the others around. Don't take the unwarranted criticism personally, but understand that this person is just as sick as the one who is eating himself or herself to death.
In cases of extreme, mobility limiting obesity, codependency/enabling are virtually guaranteed to be present.
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Old 04-29-2017, 03:24 PM
 
2,358 posts, read 1,192,163 times
Reputation: 5081
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jkgourmet View Post
I totally agree, but remember what the OP said in their 2nd sentence of her post.

"Close family members who I care a lot about are obese"

I'm assuming the OP WANTS to spend time with these family members. I also think it's important to note that these folks are going thru the trouble of traveling (not easy for anybody these days) AND paying for two plane tickets.

My suggestion aimed to solve a problem to allow OP to continue her relationship with her family. Sometimes that's more important than money or hurt feelings.

I hope it works out, emoticoo.
Who said anything about plane tickets?


Please don't assume that these individuals are my partners​ relatives who live far away. It's astounding to me that after posting about a totally separate issue some of the responses have been so colored by that information. Totally different family members. Though my family isn't numerous it isn't non-existent.
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Old 04-29-2017, 03:58 PM
 
Location: Alexandria, VA
11,386 posts, read 20,186,364 times
Reputation: 16381
It's just astounding to me that the obese person wouldn't offer to replace/pay for the furniture destroyed and instead chose to berate the homeowner for not accommodating!

Future (assuming the loss of $$ to you for your furniture) - I'm sorry I won't be able to host you at my home due to the expense involved.
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Old 04-29-2017, 04:03 PM
 
827 posts, read 297,367 times
Reputation: 1077
This would be identified as fat logic on reddit.
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Old 04-29-2017, 04:51 PM
 
Location: San Francisco Bay Area
4,674 posts, read 2,523,363 times
Reputation: 9098
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jkgourmet View Post
Instead of requiring them to bring their own furniture (which is impractical), I'd suggest you consider purchasing one of those extra wide wheelchairs especially made for the morbidly obese. At my local airport, that's all they use now.

This would allow you to have appropriate, SAFE seating for her in every room of your home, and since it's on wheels you can easily move it from room to room. Some are expensive, but a quick Google produced this one for less than $200 delivered. It's even red - not entirely ugly, institutional looking!

https://www.walmart.com/ip/Drive-Med...&wl13=&veh=sem
I think this is an excellent suggestion if the person weights less than 450 lbs.

I am surprised that the person does not already own their own wheelchair so they could use it at home and take with them for visiting others and shopping, etc. If so, it is may be because they weigh more than what a bariatric chair can carry.

Last edited by SFBayBoomer; 04-29-2017 at 04:59 PM..
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Old 04-29-2017, 04:59 PM
 
2,301 posts, read 1,259,059 times
Reputation: 2802
Whoever broke your furniture is supposed to replace it. And if they were nice they would buy furniture for your house that can accommodate their girth.
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Old 04-29-2017, 05:37 PM
 
Location: So Cal
40,276 posts, read 39,816,573 times
Reputation: 41747
Quote:
Originally Posted by emotiioo View Post
This person sat down and the entire sofa collapsed. I felt absolutely terrible. I had really put thought into this and the furniture was not as advertised. I apologized profusely but there is embarrassment and hurt feelings.

The spouse of this individual has chided me for not being considerate about weight and making appropriate "accomodations." I don't know how to respond and what my obligation here is. I have always tried to make everyone comfortable in my home.

What do you think I should do? Am I at fault for not being considerate about this?
I'd say send big poppa a bill for the busted up sofa.
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