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Old 05-03-2017, 02:39 PM
 
Location: Southern California
5,407 posts, read 8,103,583 times
Reputation: 5040

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Quote:
Originally Posted by mistym View Post
You've been married over 10 years and they were at your wedding. If it specifically says just him, then it's deliberate.
Quote:
Originally Posted by dbsteel View Post
It's deliberate. You always allow that whoever you invite can bring a date. Maybe they have a reason to keep it small..... then don't go. It could be a cost thing or a venue thing. We had a small reception dinner down in the Keys, and it was in a small room. I doubt we could have fit one more person in there. I guess you could ask "why no date" if you want to be clear.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Debsi View Post
Very rude.
I definitely agree. Of course it's DELIBERATE on the inviter's part! And it's up to your husband to call his cousin himself directly & set him straight to find out why...not beat around the bush & call other relatives to see what he can find out. Now if OP's husband isn't even thinking about attending, then probably no use him calling the cousin (to find out why).

I encounter being ignored ALL THE TIME. My fiance' & I have been together MUCH longer than all of his 3 siblings have been w/ their SO's put together & EVEN almost longer than the length of time my fiance's parents had been together & they STILL NEVER include me the times they've invited him to get togethers. Outrageous. OP if you've ever searched some of my threads, you'll see how horrendous his family really is.

Last edited by Forever Blue; 05-03-2017 at 02:52 PM..
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Old 05-03-2017, 02:44 PM
 
9,568 posts, read 5,764,693 times
Reputation: 9636
Quote:
Originally Posted by mistym View Post
You've been married over 10 years and they were at your wedding. If it specifically says just him, then it's deliberate.
You never know. My own mother in law introduced me to someone as my husband's, "girlfriend" ten years and two kids after we had been married. She was at our wedding but I guess she forgot and just thought I was the girlfriend.

In other words, some people are crazy. Maybe this cousin suffers from the same affliction as my mother in law?
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Old 05-03-2017, 04:25 PM
 
Location: Ft. Myers
17,631 posts, read 11,084,828 times
Reputation: 37650
Quote:
Originally Posted by Irishiis49 View Post
Oh my husband would attend this wedding over my dead body...or more likely his!!!
Hehe, yep, a lot of us husbands would be getting a cold shoulder and a hot tongue ! If I ever did that, I would be sleeping permanently on the couch.
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Old 05-03-2017, 04:28 PM
 
1,562 posts, read 2,733,288 times
Reputation: 1537
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mnseca View Post
We just got a wedding invitation from my husband's cousin. It specifies only one person is invited (my husband). While I don't know the cousin well, I have met him a couple of times (including at my wedding), and do know his mother a bit. It seems odd to me that I was left out, more because my husband and I have been married for over 10 years than because of my relationship with the cousin. How would you feel about this?
I would throw it in the garbage and not respond.
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Old 05-03-2017, 04:31 PM
 
426 posts, read 352,662 times
Reputation: 562
Why not just RSVP for the both of you?

Put both names on the response card or check off the box for 2 meals.
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Old 05-03-2017, 04:45 PM
 
Location: Endless Concert
1,719 posts, read 1,165,130 times
Reputation: 3268
If this was me and my husband decided to go without me and thought it was ok to do so I would tell him we are going to a marriage counselor.

This says a lot about him and it sounds like he would need a professional to explain this. He may still not fully understand, how disresepectul he is being to his wife, since the wedding is from his side of the family and they think it's ok.

I would see how counseling went but I would look at my husband very differently if he didn't "wake up" on this way of thinking.

To the posts that say to contact and find out if it was an oversight on the invitation - it wasn't.

Also some posts say to call and say how rude this is to only invite the husband, I don't agree with doing that if they don't know manners at this age that this rude, then they don't know what rude is.
I don't think it's appropriate to scold adults that this is rude, clearly they didn't learn manners somewhere growing up.

Also, OP stated she probably wouldn't want to go now anyway, she has her integrity.

Last edited by 70's Music Girl; 05-03-2017 at 05:08 PM..
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Old 05-04-2017, 06:36 AM
 
Location: Ft. Myers
17,631 posts, read 11,084,828 times
Reputation: 37650
It looks like almost everyone on here is in agreement that the bride may, or may not, have done it on purpose (more likely they omitted your name on purpose), but the bigger issue is how your husband is handling it. At the very least, he is being insensitive to your feelings, and very disrespectful.

I don't want to play Monday morning quarterback on your marriage, you may have a great marriage, but on this issue you really need to sit him down and tell him exactly what this means and how you feel slighted. I can guarantee you that most of us hubbies would be getting our butts chewed out for even THINKING of going without her.

I would also return the invitation with a note saying "Since ______ and I are a married couple, and she was not invited, I will not be able to attend either. Hope you have a nice wedding."
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Old 05-04-2017, 07:02 AM
 
26,315 posts, read 24,413,788 times
Reputation: 16000
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mnseca View Post
We just got a wedding invitation from my husband's cousin. It specifies only one person is invited (my husband). While I don't know the cousin well, I have met him a couple of times (including at my wedding), and do know his mother a bit. It seems odd to me that I was left out, more because my husband and I have been married for over 10 years than because of my relationship with the cousin. How would you feel about this?
Hi, they were discussing this on a radio talk show, the other day, and I've got to add my 2 cents.

I was shocked at the prices of weddings...of course, I'm in my 60's, but honestly, $43,000.00 and higher for a wedding? I wouldn't even spend that on a car. That is a very nice down payment on a home. And who expects their parents to foot that kind of bill?

I'd take that money and elope....

I know a lot of women want that white princess dress, but the fact of the matter is, this is way too much money to be spending on everyone else for some dog and pony show, that very well end up in divorce?

so, I'm thinking that you shouldn't take this personal....they have to cut the list off somewhere, and apparently who ever is your husband's cousin, would like him to come, which is an honor, but they cannot afford to have everyone....

I'd be willing to bet, that was the reason....and the only reason....they simply don't know you well enough, and the bride's parents are footing the bill...some parents of the groom don't even offer to help any more, and that is beside the point. And it has nothing to do with inviting him to your wedding, that was your choice.

I can understand why you might take offense, but when looking at it from a financial stand point, the cost of weddings today are astronomical...way off the charts, and personally I cannot see justifying that kind of cost for one day.

Actually the only thing I find fault with is, spending that kind of money....since you only met the cousin on a few occasions, they don't really know you....try not to take it so personal...and make plans for yourself to do something that day and be glad you don't have to attend. It sounds like to me, they are cutting the attendee list as much as possible only to save money.

When my son got married, I wanted my minister to attend. They didn't know her well at all, and she called me and raised such a commotion, that she wasn't invited. So I said something to my son again...do you know she called me the day of the wedding and I went balistic. Later my son told me, that they had to cut the list...and that they didn't know here very well.

I had no problem with it, but I never went back to that church again.
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Old 05-04-2017, 07:06 AM
 
16,025 posts, read 19,571,183 times
Reputation: 26194
Quote:
Originally Posted by emm74 View Post
Yes, it's rude but it's an even bigger issue that your husband doesn't understand that and thinks it's ok to attend without you.
Exactly. It doesn't bode well for your husband's consideration of your feelings. And, for those of you citing oversights....OP has been married to her husband and a member of this family for 10 years....That isn't an oversight....This seems like passive aggressive payback or something.

OP....Do you know of any reason this cousin would be deliberately dissing you??
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Old 05-04-2017, 07:15 AM
 
26,315 posts, read 24,413,788 times
Reputation: 16000
Here is something to consider

https://www.yahoo.com/style/cost-wed...130000837.html

whose parents can afford this kind of money?

Why not have an ol time summer picnic to celebrate, keep the church down to a minimum....
invite them to come, in summer clothes,

do not have an open bar, (your inviting people to get drunk)
have them play baseball, volleyball, bocce ball, kids games, maybe pony rides, I mean you could get very creative, and everyone would feel more comfortable...and the wedding would be talked about for years to come.

Rent a barn so that the older folks could get out of the hot sun, and you could have all kinds of outside activities.

Please consider the fact that maybe whoever is footing the bill for this wedding allocated a certain number of people from each side to attend?

I would not take this personal....when you consider the cost today, honestly I think it is unfair of kids to expect anyone to pay for this. One of the fellas on this talk show I was listening to, said, they were still paying for their wedding 5 years later???? And if he had it to do all over again he wouldn't.
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