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Old 06-05-2017, 08:26 PM
 
16,992 posts, read 20,601,942 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bellakin123 View Post
I don't think the # of guests is the issue. The OP has another thread and it appears that there are issues with the in-laws.

???????

Where did you get the number of guests being an issue because of what I wrote?

I said if someone doesn't like half of a couple, than don't invite either one. Whether it's a wedding or a backyard BBQ.

If the cousin who is getting married in this situation doesn't like the OP(whether it's a valid reason or not), don't invite your cousin(the OP's husband). Most people after a few weddings unless it is your son or daughter or a sibling getting married are thrilled not to be invited anyway.
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Old 06-06-2017, 01:58 AM
 
Location: Eugene, Oregon
9,025 posts, read 2,947,557 times
Reputation: 13516
All this discussion is mostly moot anyway, as legal marriage is fast approaching near-extinction. Only a small percentage of people under thirty are getting married. More than half of the men and women of all ages, who live together as couples, are not legally married.
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Old 06-06-2017, 06:51 AM
 
Location: Long Island, NY
7,846 posts, read 10,772,198 times
Reputation: 9197
Quote:
Originally Posted by seain dublin View Post
???????

Where did you get the number of guests being an issue because of what I wrote?

I said if someone doesn't like half of a couple, than don't invite either one. Whether it's a wedding or a backyard BBQ.

If the cousin who is getting married in this situation doesn't like the OP(whether it's a valid reason or not), don't invite your cousin(the OP's husband). Most people after a few weddings unless it is your son or daughter or a sibling getting married are thrilled not to be invited anyway.
I misread your comment, sheesh.
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Old 07-02-2017, 11:20 AM
 
132 posts, read 53,642 times
Reputation: 208
After my son's recent wedding, I asked why some of his friends were not there. He said they turned the invitation down because their spouses were not invited. Son said it was because they had to keep the guest list down. I don't know if it was his or the bride's idea but I was flabbergasted and mortified.
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Old 07-02-2017, 01:10 PM
 
Location: Somewhere in America
12,304 posts, read 10,709,300 times
Reputation: 20540
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nelliebell View Post
After my son's recent wedding, I asked why some of his friends were not there. He said they turned the invitation down because their spouses were not invited. Son said it was because they had to keep the guest list down. I don't know if it was his or the bride's idea but I was flabbergasted and mortified.
At least, they realized that they could only spend what they could afford. Many people go into debt for they're wedding and are divorced before it's paid for. Why were you flabbergasted and mortified?
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Old 07-02-2017, 01:14 PM
 
Location: North State (California)
38,404 posts, read 2,903,838 times
Reputation: 12469
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ralph_Kirk View Post
I don't respect your husband's decision.

As a husband, I would not attend without my wife, unless she were ill or otherwise unavailable and sent me to represent her.


If I thought she was being deliberately excluded, I'd either not have told her and taken her anyway (and I'd speak my mind if anyone dared challenge me), or I'd not go.
That is the only way to do it.
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Old 07-02-2017, 01:25 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
22,457 posts, read 24,016,511 times
Reputation: 48673
Quote:
Originally Posted by ss20ts View Post
At least, they realized that they could only spend what they could afford. Many people go into debt for they're wedding and are divorced before it's paid for. Why were you flabbergasted and mortified?
It's one thing to not give your playboy friend a plus one for his flavor of the month, but you don't invite one half of a couple, especially if they're married. Either invite both or neither.
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Old 07-02-2017, 01:38 PM
 
9,915 posts, read 3,941,418 times
Reputation: 25007
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nelliebell View Post
After my son's recent wedding, I asked why some of his friends were not there. He said they turned the invitation down because their spouses were not invited. Son said it was because they had to keep the guest list down. I don't know if it was his or the bride's idea but I was flabbergasted and mortified.
It's sad that you didn't know this was happening at the time, Nellie. It just seems this could have been worked out differently - maybe we're talking about a total of 10 extra people here? If the wedding is so small that you can't afford spouses of people you really care about, well, the wedding is too small. Another venue, a less expensive menu, cheaper beer and wine, etc., are ways to cut and allow for more guests.
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Old 07-02-2017, 01:47 PM
 
1,788 posts, read 1,126,787 times
Reputation: 1110
Isn't it assumed that most people who are invited get a "+1?"
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Old 07-02-2017, 01:50 PM
 
9,915 posts, read 3,941,418 times
Reputation: 25007
Quote:
Originally Posted by N610DL View Post
Isn't it assumed that most people who are invited get a "+1?"
I think that's becoming the standard now, but at one point that was considered very rude. Everyone had to be personally invited by name, on the envelope. If you don't know the person well enough to know if they have a significant other, then you were to call and ask.

I have seen "and guest" written on wedding invitations and . . . that used to be an affront. Like they don't know who your partner is and don't care. Or kind of worse, you're invited to locate someone to bring to the wedding as a first date because it's a fun party and chance to dress up and dance and eat good food.

But yes, things change. And guest seems to be more common.
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