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I Don't want to come off as overdramatic but I feel like I need to get this off my chest. Ive Always gone back and forth with my mother. But within these last few months things have escalated. To a point where I am barley holding it together. She is relentless and increasingly becoming careless and it is slowly costing me my health. I am a fit 24 year old male. Staying in shape means eating, eating the right foods at the right portions. taking vitamins ( mainly multi-vitamins and fish-oil occasionally a fat burner) when necessary. And Doing so has helped me to stay in tuned with my bodies needs. And as a 24 year old male living with his mom I believe I am at the age where I can pull my own weight. One of those things being to cook my own food which takes off some of the pressure for my mom cooking for me and my brother financially and physically. When I cook my food I tailor it to my dieting needs. Ensuring I have a full lunch and dinner for at least 5-6 days. When I do cook I let it known that the food is ONLY mines so that it can last for the days ahead.
On my end it doesn't seem like much. I help pay bills, buy groceries, and I keep what I eat. But lately my mom hasn't taken that lightly. I don't share and she thinks I'm being selfish. She tells me to share and a tell her that its my food and I buy the general thing that are needed ( milk, eggs, cheese, bread etc.) so having something to myself isn't a lot to ask for. But she wouldn't have it. Now I'm at a point where she won't let me cook. And I haven't had a decent meal in about a solid 2 weeks. only small food chips, yogurt, sardines, beans, fruit. She doesn't cook as much as she used to 2 days out of the full week max. And now I'm eating half the calories I used to. I can slowly feel my body moving slower. Starting to get headaches, and I can barely sleep. Between standing for 7-8 hrs a day at work walking to and from home. On top of that she has compiled all the house chores( cleaning both bathrooms, kitchen, lawn maintenance, room) Im starting to feel overwhelmed. I can feel myself getting weaker and she won't hear of it. For some reason she has this deep Anger towards me and I don't know why. I am afraid that one day I will pass out due to lack of nutrition and calories. Which could result in missing out on work going to the hospital with no insurance. Ive tried to tell her how weak I'm getting but she won't hear of it.
Im trying to reason with her but she won't listen. She tells me its not her problem and I shouldn't have been "disrespectful". I feel that she is becoming emotionally unstable. I fear for our relationship. Looking in her eyes and reading her body language I feel she will not stop at all no matter how many times I tell her. I am in the process of trying to move out from underneath her cloud of pain and ridicule. I don't have a car so I'm trying to get a place near transportation and Im looking for a different job so that I can be close to work and home. Im desperately trying to hang on but I feel if this becomes any worse I will completely dismiss her from my life indefinitely and I don't want it to come to that. But experiencing the hurt and pain she has caused I feel like I would have no other choice. I am a peaceful person and want to be able to move out on good terms but I feel like she is out of control and reckless and its slowly destroying my health.
What should I DO?
Your mom shared her food with you for 24 years, now you're going to close your arms around it and go "Mine!"? It's a good thing if your mom wants to try healthy foods. Maybe she'll come to like it and then SHE'LL be buying and making what you eat too. In any case, it seems a simple solution, just make enough that you can give her some.
I make my own lunches too for the same reason. I spend hours on Sundays making mashed cauliflower, zucchini tots, all sorts of things. I like having people who think they don't like healthy food try these things and like them. My bf was amazed at how much the mashed cauliflower tastes like mashed potatoes and now I make extra for him.
If she likes your food maybe you can let her know how much more expensive healthy food can be and ask her to contribute so you can make enough for everyone. But to say while you're living in your mom's house, where she shared everything she had with you for 24 years, and tell her you won't share any with her just sounds ridiculous IMO.
GET a decent job and move out if you don't like it! At 24 I already owned my own townhouse! AND WHY don't you have insurance? Isn't that the law now? Sorry OP I don't feel sorry for you! Time to grow up!
If you can't afford to move out, then just buy more food so you can share. I mean, she's not a roommate, she's your mom. I doubt she would deny you food. Sounds like there's more dynamics behind the no cook rule. I couldn't imagine how it'd have made my grandma feel if I denied her food after all she did for me.
I Don't want to come off as overdramatic but I feel like I need to get this off my chest. Ive Always gone back and forth with my mother. But within these last few months things have escalated. To a point where I am barley holding it together. She is relentless and increasingly becoming careless and it is slowly costing me my health. I am a fit 24 year old male. Staying in shape means eating, eating the right foods at the right portions. taking vitamins ( mainly multi-vitamins and fish-oil occasionally a fat burner) when necessary. And Doing so has helped me to stay in tuned with my bodies needs. And as a 24 year old male living with his mom I believe I am at the age where I can pull my own weight. One of those things being to cook my own food which takes off some of the pressure for my mom cooking for me and my brother financially and physically. When I cook my food I tailor it to my dieting needs. Ensuring I have a full lunch and dinner for at least 5-6 days. When I do cook I let it known that the food is ONLY mines so that it can last for the days ahead.
On my end it doesn't seem like much. I help pay bills, buy groceries, and I keep what I eat. But lately my mom hasn't taken that lightly. I don't share and she thinks I'm being selfish. She tells me to share and a tell her that its my food and I buy the general thing that are needed ( milk, eggs, cheese, bread etc.) so having something to myself isn't a lot to ask for. But she wouldn't have it. Now I'm at a point where she won't let me cook. And I haven't had a decent meal in about a solid 2 weeks. only small food chips, yogurt, sardines, beans, fruit. She doesn't cook as much as she used to 2 days out of the full week max. And now I'm eating half the calories I used to. I can slowly feel my body moving slower. Starting to get headaches, and I can barely sleep. Between standing for 7-8 hrs a day at work walking to and from home. On top of that she has compiled all the house chores( cleaning both bathrooms, kitchen, lawn maintenance, room) Im starting to feel overwhelmed. I can feel myself getting weaker and she won't hear of it. For some reason she has this deep Anger towards me and I don't know why. I am afraid that one day I will pass out due to lack of nutrition and calories. Which could result in missing out on work going to the hospital with no insurance. Ive tried to tell her how weak I'm getting but she won't hear of it.
Im trying to reason with her but she won't listen. She tells me its not her problem and I shouldn't have been "disrespectful". I feel that she is becoming emotionally unstable. I fear for our relationship. Looking in her eyes and reading her body language I feel she will not stop at all no matter how many times I tell her. I am in the process of trying to move out from underneath her cloud of pain and ridicule. I don't have a car so I'm trying to get a place near transportation and Im looking for a different job so that I can be close to work and home. Im desperately trying to hang on but I feel if this becomes any worse I will completely dismiss her from my life indefinitely and I don't want it to come to that. But experiencing the hurt and pain she has caused I feel like I would have no other choice. I am a peaceful person and want to be able to move out on good terms but I feel like she is out of control and reckless and its slowly destroying my health.
Geez, this millennial generation. What did we do wrong?
Yap.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jonesg
Move out.
Yap the 2nd.
OP, why don't you cook for her? The problem is many of you now are so entitled. I am guilty of this too but, do you even consider that you won't even reach your first year here on earth if your mom did not feed you? Clothed you? Sheltered you? And she just eats some of your food and you go drama queen over it?
Go and find a place of your own, or just eat out. I am on your mom's side you ungrateful drama queen.
In February OP posted in another forum that he was having trouble at home but was certain neither Mom nor Dad would cosign for an apartment.
He also had a very short-term assignment doing front desk at a hotel and decided to try to charge stuff on a bunch of guest credit cards, for which he had to spend a night in the pokey and lost his job.
Just mentioning this in case it helps anyone make more sense of this melodrama.
What! He is lucky his mom doesn't just put him out then. A ne'er do-well spoiled, thief would not be welcome under my roof.
OP, if your mom is going to let you stay (why, I don't know), share your food and stop being selfish. You have a roof over your head and she probably pays the utilities - the least you can do is buy the food and cook enough for the both of you. I don't blame her for being disgusted by your behavior. This whole thing sounds silly and unnecessary.
The answer is clear but I understand how hard it is to have a difficult parent. This man has probably been riddled with anxiety his whole life.
Yes, probably.
Op, you aren't dying. I don't see how she can stop you from cooking. Just do it. Put a mini fridge in your room while you save up to move out. And find a therapist.
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