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Old 05-25-2017, 03:30 PM
 
1,478 posts, read 1,892,165 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eddie1278 View Post
Believe it or not a lot of people have kids and get married to "keep up with the joneses" not because they really want to. Some wont admit it but it's the truth. Case in point when you hear young women say "all my friends have kids i want kids" like it's a competition to keep up with the heard. A large part of society feel they wont fit in if they don't follow the heard.

I choose not to have kids because of many reasons #1 very expensive to raise #2 the world gets worse as years go by #3 the world is overpopulated as it is. I would feel selfish bringing a life into these conditions.
So true. If a person sees 10 others in their circle doing the same thing, they are going to feel like it's the thing to do and think they want it... it can be difficult to stand out from the herd mentality and go your own way. It can be isolating - everyone's on playdates and couples get-togethers with kids and you feel like the odd one out. It makes a person (not me personally) feel like they need to be doing the same thing or they aren't living right. Just my observation. Esp older generations, kids and housewife, SAHM with the working husband, that's just what you did.
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Old 05-25-2017, 03:55 PM
 
4,956 posts, read 2,254,797 times
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Didn't read the whole thing, but -

1) Remember, every time you choose to do something you are choosing not to do something else.

2) Don't worry if your choices don't line up with what mass marketing tells you to do. Don't be fooled either: marriage-for-all and children-for-all are being heavily marketed.
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Old 05-27-2017, 06:41 PM
 
Location: Lakewood OH
21,698 posts, read 23,593,562 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by turf3 View Post
Didn't read the whole thing, but -

1) Remember, every time you choose to do something you are choosing not to do something else.

2) Don't worry if your choices don't line up with what mass marketing tells you to do. Don't be fooled either: marriage-for-all and children-for-all are being heavily marketed.
Adding to this great advice; one person's great life event might be another person's worst nightmare.
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Old 05-27-2017, 07:56 PM
 
1,202 posts, read 527,420 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Minervah View Post
Adding to this great advice; one person's great life event might be another person's worst nightmare.
Amen to that. I'm delighted if achieving the goal of marriage and a family makes some people happy, but I grow tired of some of their patronising or pitying attitudes when I explain to them that I have other plans.

If they like the idea of sleeping beside the same person every night and raising children with them, good luck and God bless. I prefer to enjoy the freedom I have to burp the alphabet, scratch my junk, listen to Whitesnake at 3 am and exist on takeaway food until I die in my fifties from malnutrition and lack of sleep. It takes all sorts to make a happy world .
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Old 06-01-2017, 02:30 AM
 
212 posts, read 96,869 times
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I'm 32. I'm not anti either (exactly). I do want to get meet the right person for me and get married. I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone. I know its sad but I always feel good when I'm in a relationship with someone romantically. It gives me what I long for me in my that you don't have when single and just with friends.

I'm childfree. I used to want kids but now that I'm older and my biological clock is sticking, I'm cool with not having any. If I were to have kids, I think I would only want 1. I think my life would just be better with no kids. I don't want to drop all the things I like to do in my life because I have to babysit my kid for 18 years. I guess that's called being a parent lol but I would feel like kids are weighing me down. This may be sour grapes though. If I were to get married say tomorrow, I may pop out 2 kids before 40.

Honestly I would be sad if I were to never get married. I do respect marriage even though divorce rates are high. I also would be sad for my mom since she is very traditional and would want to be involved with a wedding (my brother and I are both in the same boat really). Likewise with kids I feel bad that my mom may never been a grandma. She even says things like this to me which makes me feel like my mom sees me as a loser.
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Old 06-01-2017, 03:15 PM
 
Location: Lakewood OH
21,698 posts, read 23,593,562 times
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This got me to thinking about what were the great events in my life. Certainly achieving two college degrees one at age 27 and the other at age 55. Another was when I performed Lilly Tomlin's "In Search Of Intelligent Life In the Universe" and brought the house down.

Relocating twice to other cities, each time over 2,000 miles away from where I had been living were great events. Making a few very important life changing decisions was as well. There are more but those are what is standing out in my mind now.

By the OP's definition of great events, I have not missed out on any of them. At age 71, I guess my last great event will be my death. But I hope to be able to squeeze in a few more before that happens.
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Old 06-02-2017, 10:56 AM
 
19 posts, read 6,060 times
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Default Childfree and Antimarriage

Well to begin with, I made my peace with my decisions long ago (I'm 18 but what the hell long ago sounds cool :P). I'm currently going for a MSN specializing in Anesthesia and it will be a rigorous coarse load so I won't have time for distractions. Upon getting out, I want to move to Washington state which is another year of moving and shifting to make accommodations for a lifestyle shift. Once I do that, then I could finally start my life at about 25-26. I don't want kids because they are a bother to deal with and cost a lot. While the cost wouldn't be an issue (salary expectation: 150k-180k), I'd rather spend it on me and things I want to do in life than a kid. Also, in terms of a love life, I'd have to meet a person who shared similar values, wanted to save money like I do (15% back each year and maxing 401k) and then find an emotional connection. All that just sounds like far too much stress for a chance at happiness that could go wrong. What if she is just in it for the money? What if she cheats? etc etc. Instead, I decided I'd be a member of the casual hookup culture. I'm sure by the time I'm 26 they'll have a better Tinder for hooking up. And any events that include children, I have 2 brothers and a sister for so I can be the cool uncle.

Honestly, it is all about what you can live with. Maybe it is selfish, but after slaving in college for 6 years, I don't wanna get hitched and raise a little snot. I wanna live and experience all life has to offer. Best of luck and hope you make a decision you can live with
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Old 06-04-2017, 05:02 PM
 
Location: Connecticut is my adopted home.
2,276 posts, read 3,066,911 times
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Never regretted not having children. No sadness at all. All of that stuff is hard and requires more than just being a box to check. Live your life like you want and don't worry about what you might miss.
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Old 06-04-2017, 05:22 PM
 
Location: Sugarland
13,743 posts, read 12,646,359 times
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Since I've recently had children move in next door to me, I'm feeling less bothered by the prospect of never having kids. They're so loud and annoying!
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Old 06-05-2017, 04:44 AM
 
13,675 posts, read 13,505,812 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blisterpeanuts View Post
No one is saying that's the only reason people have children. But it's a perfectly valid reason for some people, even if you consider it "the worst reason in the world".
As the child of a mentally ill woman who was desperate to have a child so she wouldn't be alone, let me assure you it is most certainly the worst reason in the world. Ironically, she's definitely going to be alone in her old age - not because she's mentally ill and was terribly emotionally abusive, but because she knew what was wrong with her and refused to get help.

If you're in the Third World and have kids to ensure your future survival, I can't judge you. But in a developed society, there is simply no excuse for having children other than for the satisfaction of raising them to be successful and independent adults.
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