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Old 05-10-2017, 10:18 AM
 
886 posts, read 396,212 times
Reputation: 1321

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Quote:
Originally Posted by theatomicbomb90 View Post
hmm. that's a really good point. I know she won't talk to me even if she wanted to because that's just how she is. I mean, right now, I know a lot of nostalgia is creeping up, and that's why I feel this, so I'm not going to act on it. But if the feeling lasts a few months (it was completely dead for 4 months, so there's a good chance within a month I won't care), I'll ask again.
Distract yourself more. Do you have other friends? Other interests? Hobbies? A job?

What do you do when you aren't stressing & worrying about your old friend? Have you considered maybe volunteering somewhere to give you something much more positive to focus on?

Occupy yourself more with other activities and other people and that will be a huge help in helping you let go of your former friend.

Forgive me if this is impolite but I must ask: how old are you? No offense meant.
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Old 05-10-2017, 10:34 AM
 
Location: The State Line
2,274 posts, read 3,157,121 times
Reputation: 2582
If you understand the meanings of "Do Not Enter", "No Trespassing," "Keep Out," and "Stop," then you already know the answer... .

Spoiler
OK, I'll type it out for you: "No, Do Not Contact."
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Old 05-10-2017, 03:37 PM
 
693 posts, read 306,189 times
Reputation: 383
I understand what being nostalgic can do to you, but remember how it ended, not how it began. The person who was once friendly to you doesn't exist where you are involved anymore.
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Old 05-10-2017, 05:40 PM
 
757 posts, read 428,493 times
Reputation: 1666
Only if you want them to file a restraining order...lol
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Old 05-11-2017, 08:28 AM
 
Location: Finally the house is done and we are in Port St. Lucie!
3,488 posts, read 2,047,402 times
Reputation: 9734
No

She doesn't want to talk to you. Just, NO.
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Old 05-11-2017, 08:43 AM
 
9 posts, read 4,066 times
Reputation: 58
Quote:
Originally Posted by theatomicbomb90 View Post
I was once really good friends with this person, but we fought and ended the friendship. I reached out to them once afterwards, and we again got into a fight. I ended up sending them like 50 messages, and they blocked me. It's been 5 months since then, and I sort of miss her friendship. I've also changed a bit in the 5 months. Should I contact them or move on? I also think I'm feeling nostalgic because they just graduated college and are moving nearby, so I don't know how much I actually miss them. I'm thinking about waiting til the end of summer and if I still feel this way, I'll contact them.
I'm glad that you are making positive changes in your life. Don't stop growing. With that growth you will realize that you can only move in one direction - and that's forward. Sometimes it's easier to go back to the past because there is a sense of comfort, but that just leads to stagnancy and repeating negative cycles. You have to move on. Learn from the experience and move on to have even better experiences. It is not a good idea to contact this person. Best of luck to you.
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Old 05-11-2017, 08:55 AM
 
Location: Chicago area
14,255 posts, read 7,857,449 times
Reputation: 53197
Absolutely not. Disrespecting their need for space will only irritate your ex friend. I ended a friendship back in January and she was trying to get to me through other people now because I blocker her on everything. I told our mutual friends to just let it go. Fifty messages? Wow. That would have made it ten times worse for me. That's really excessive. Even our mutual friends don't talk to me about her now. A wise decision.
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Old 05-11-2017, 10:50 AM
 
Location: Watervliet, NY
4,173 posts, read 1,535,137 times
Reputation: 7719
Quote:
Originally Posted by theatomicbomb90 View Post
I have for 5 months, and i'll probably leave her alone for another 8 months. I mean, it's not like I slept with her boyfriend or actually did something to her. She told me she was going to ignore me, and I had a pretty childish response, but we were really close at some point. I think it's a kind of petty thing to end a friendship over.


I mean, if she doesn't respond to my message, there isn't really that much one can do.
If she set the parameters of contact, than the ball is in HER court, not in yours.

Trust me, I know where you're at, because I'm in the same boat. Said something I shouldn't to a buddy of mine I have known for 13 years, and my buddy told me that I needed to take a step back and think about where I was coming from. After a month went by, I reached out to him, and was apologetic, and stated how I was going to make sure not to let what happened between us happen again. He says I am to wait for HIM to contact ME, because while I may be sure of my position, he is not, and he will contact me at some point in the future when he feels comfortable doing so. He said "I will be in touch," not that he was never going to speak to me again, or that our friendship was over.

It's been 4 months since we had that conversation on January 8. I miss him a lot, but he told me his expectations for me at the moment as far as interaction goes, so I have two choices: wait it out, no matter how long it takes for him to come around... or, walk away, with or without telling him I'm doing so. Badgering him with text messages or voice mails, however, will only push him even farther away, to the point where he does say he doesn't want to associate with me anymore.

When someone wants less out of the relationship than you do, they are the ones who get to call the shots. You either deal with it by accepting the situation as it stands, or walk away and don't deal with it, but trying to force the issue never works. One thing that has helped me is looking at things from his side, because I invariably start thinking "can you blame him for not wanting to be in contact??? After what you said to him????"
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Old 05-11-2017, 10:58 AM
 
3,092 posts, read 2,180,623 times
Reputation: 5175
Quote:
Originally Posted by SD4020 View Post
Why is this even a question.

**** no.

The fact that someone even asked that question is beyond reason.

Seriously.
What this poster said!
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Old 05-11-2017, 12:10 PM
 
Location: Here and now.
11,917 posts, read 3,597,220 times
Reputation: 12844
Leave her alone. If she decides she misses you, she will let you know.

Okay, just read more and am editing based on this:

Quote:
Originally Posted by theatomicbomb90 View Post
we had a fight. Well I had said I didn't really want to be friends anymore, but I was still talking to her. She got really angry at this. she said she was going to ignore me. I sent her like 50 texts because I hate being ignored. She blocked me. I was pretty indifferent at that time.


we fought before and she blocked me, but we made up and I got unblocked. She once unfriended me on facebook because she thought I called her ugly. so, that can give you a reference to how she views things. I mostly just desire to be facebook friends again so I can see what's up with her life. Maybe hang out once a year.
You said you didn't want to be friends anymore. You contacted her after you were blocked because you hate being ignored. You said something that she interpreted as an insult. You want to see what's up in her life. You want to hang out once or twice a year.

Do you see a pattern here? You have spoken only of yourself. Not once have you said anything that indicates you care about this "friend," or that you feel any remorse for having hurt her, or any loss other than the loss of attention.

I hope you will leave her alone, and if you do not, I hope she has the sense to continue to ignore you. You do not sound like someone who knows how to be a friend.

Last edited by Catgirl64; 05-11-2017 at 12:26 PM..
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