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Old 05-12-2017, 11:18 AM
 
16,988 posts, read 20,540,551 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tassity22 View Post
Sure, that's why I don't understand why these people can't do the same: work to raise the money. Some of these college kids have never held down a job in their life, not even mowing lawns. I don't get it. I worked in high school and college, in the summer time. Maybe I should just hand them some job applications next time. These kids are being raised to look at everyone else like they are walking wallets. They aren't learning to work for their money. One college kid in my family has been on several mission trips and an overseas study program already, he's 22 and never worked a day in his life and always looking for money to fund his next adventure. And getting upset when it doesn't come in fast enough through his various fund-raising efforts (church, family, friends, etc).
That's why we see on the Work and Employment forum frequently with posts like "I'm 26 and never had a job" threads, a lot of them.

Scary.


Quote:
Originally Posted by MinivanDriver View Post
If it's chemotherapy and they're out of insurance money, tell me where to send the check.

It it's your honeymoon or some such, are you kidding me? Whoa that's classless.
Well they now have something called a "Honeyfund", it's a website that couples who are getting married join, it's similar to GFM, they actually ask people to donate to a honeymoon fund, a saving up for a house fund, etc.

Beyond tacky.

 
Old 05-12-2017, 11:20 AM
 
5,276 posts, read 2,205,374 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by seain dublin View Post
That's why we see on the Work and Employment forum frequently with posts like "I'm 26 and never had a job" threads, a lot of them.

Scary.
No kidding. I can't remember a time after age 10 when I wasn't doing something, anything for money.
 
Old 05-12-2017, 11:27 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
22,350 posts, read 23,922,329 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by seain dublin View Post
T
Well they now have something called a "Honeyfund", it's a website that couples who are getting married join, it's similar to GFM, they actually ask people to donate to a honeymoon fund, a saving up for a house fund, etc.

Beyond tacky.
Maybe it's tacky (especially if they're asking for a gift,) but at the same time it's generally accepted that you're going to buy newlyweds a gift. Some people would prefer to spend the money they'd spend on a blender or towels on something that the couple actually need or want--if that goes toward their house fund or their honeymoon, so be it.
 
Old 05-12-2017, 11:43 AM
 
Location: Camberville
11,932 posts, read 16,653,823 times
Reputation: 19419
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
Maybe it's tacky (especially if they're asking for a gift,) but at the same time it's generally accepted that you're going to buy newlyweds a gift. Some people would prefer to spend the money they'd spend on a blender or towels on something that the couple actually need or want--if that goes toward their house fund or their honeymoon, so be it.
This is how I feel. While my partner and I plan to elope, if we did change our minds and have a wedding we would likely go the route of a house fund (with explicit language that gifts are not expected or that we would also appreciate donations to our favorite charity). We both been on our own for a decade, so short of a few very expensive appliances (like a stand mixer or Vitamix), we don't have need for appliances, dishes, and other traditional gifts. In fact, we already have doubles of many things!

Most of our friends are getting married in their late 20s or early 30s, so the honeyfund or similar are more common than household goods. I don't consider it tacky in the least, but maybe that's a generational thing? If a honeyfund or house fund is tacky, then why isn't a gift registry?

Regarding GoFundMe, I'm part of the young adult cancer community so I see many fundraisers for medical bills. I also make an exception for adoption or other family building costs. It is EXPENSIVE. People who could easily afford to care for a child might not be able to raise tens of thousands of dollars for adoption costs. One of the worst moments of my life was being 23, sitting in a reproductive specialist's office, and being told that I would likely lose my fertility and my insurance wouldn't cover fertility salvation treatments. I either had to find $14,000 up front pretty much immediately (as I needed to start chemo ASAP) or potentially face much higher costs later on down the line if I wanted to build my family. It's a heartbreaking experience, one that I still don't know how it will pan out, but I don't begrudge people for asking for help.
 
Old 05-12-2017, 11:48 AM
 
Location: Sneads Ferry NC/Randolph NJ
13,098 posts, read 24,778,161 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by emotiioo View Post
I keep getting invites from people who have GoFundMe pages set up.

One is getting married and needs money for the wedding.

Another is getting expensive in vitro treatments.

Another is trying to get money for an overseas adoption (and already has several kids adopted from overseas that the church raised money for.)

Is this a new trend? Is GoFundMe now the way that people finance expensive life events?
Unfortunately yes. I only give through that site for people I know that have fallen on hard times such as everything lost in a fire, an unexpected death or too off set expensive necessary for life medical treatments.

If you need go fund me for a wedding, go to the justice of peace or town hall
 
Old 05-12-2017, 12:32 PM
 
3,137 posts, read 1,794,409 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by seain dublin View Post
That's why we see on the Work and Employment forum frequently with posts like "I'm 26 and never had a job" threads, a lot of them..
I've seen those threads too. I have a hard time with sympathy for these people. And they seem to almost think it's normal.

I'm sure they had a lot of fun in their teen years and early 20s. Must have been nice. I wouldn't have survived to age 26 if I didn't work; I would have starved to death.
 
Old 05-12-2017, 12:37 PM
 
5,276 posts, read 2,205,374 times
Reputation: 15978
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
Maybe it's tacky (especially if they're asking for a gift,) but at the same time it's generally accepted that you're going to buy newlyweds a gift. Some people would prefer to spend the money they'd spend on a blender or towels on something that the couple actually need or want--if that goes toward their house fund or their honeymoon, so be it.
Well, I think there is a huge world of difference between, "Hey, I'm getting married!" and some friends throwing a wedding shower or having people just follow the accepted cultural practice of giving a gift AND blatantly saying, "Hey, I'm getting married and I need you to pay for my lavish two-week honeymoon in Tahiti."
 
Old 05-12-2017, 01:12 PM
 
26 posts, read 15,012 times
Reputation: 65
My niece was recently accepted for a summer study abroad program. She excitedly announced this on FB and then posted again minutes later with a GoFundMe link. Dear child...no.

I have contributed to a friend's GoFundMe to help with adoption expenses. In her case, the move to adoption came after having paid tens of thousands on multiple attempts at IVF and an additional several thousand on the OOP portion of her bill for d&c's when she miscarried babies that she'd already spent thousands just to conceive. She and her husband are incredibly frugal, but not many people have an additional $20k for adoption sitting around after having gone through what they did.
 
Old 05-12-2017, 01:21 PM
 
16,988 posts, read 20,540,551 times
Reputation: 33925
Quote:
Originally Posted by MinivanDriver View Post
No kidding. I can't remember a time after age 10 when I wasn't doing something, anything for money.
I was back east a few years ago and outside a chain supermarker there were kids asking for money to send their little league team to some out of state game. There was no please or thank you or any real explanation, they just jumped out in front of you demanding money.

Even though I'm not crazy about Girl Scout cookies, I always buy a box or two, because they're polite and they're selling something to raise funds.

Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
Maybe it's tacky (especially if they're asking for a gift,) but at the same time it's generally accepted that you're going to buy newlyweds a gift. Some people would prefer to spend the money they'd spend on a blender or towels on something that the couple actually need or want--if that goes toward their house fund or their honeymoon, so be it.
I understand that. And back when I went to a lot of weddings people mostly gave cash and the bride and groom could do with what they like.

Now the trend is to pay for everything for the couple.

I was invited to a wedding of a couple who between them make over six figures. They had funds for everything, including new furniture. My feeling is you want to buy a house or furniture, than put some of your earnings aside. I think a lot of people were put off by it, as they didn't get a lot of money. They have also lived together for 5 years(nothing wrong with that), but if you want a big lavish wedding, a fancy honeymoon, etc. than put money aside.

Don't expect others to pay your way.

What if someone responded back "sure, and you can contribute to my car payment fund this month"...LOL.
 
Old 05-12-2017, 01:25 PM
 
16,988 posts, read 20,540,551 times
Reputation: 33925
Quote:
Originally Posted by tassity22 View Post
I've seen those threads too. I have a hard time with sympathy for these people. And they seem to almost think it's normal.

I'm sure they had a lot of fun in their teen years and early 20s. Must have been nice. I wouldn't have survived to age 26 if I didn't work; I would have starved to death.
They do think it's normal, which is scary.



Quote:
Originally Posted by MinivanDriver View Post
Well, I think there is a huge world of difference between, "Hey, I'm getting married!" and some friends throwing a wedding shower or having people just follow the accepted cultural practice of giving a gift AND blatantly saying, "Hey, I'm getting married and I need you to pay for my lavish two-week honeymoon in Tahiti."



Exactly.
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