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Old 05-13-2017, 02:47 AM
 
76 posts, read 36,433 times
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I met a girl through the meetup.com groups a couple of years ago. She was quite keen to become friends and asked for my phone numberModerator cut: delete . Whilst we have had good times I am unsure why she wants to be friends. I feel at times she will ask me to go to the cinema as though she has no-one else to go with or she suggests meeting up as her boyfriend isn't available.

When she texts me I will reply the same day and messages between us are quick. But when I text her she takes days to reply but then I see she has been on Facebook, Meetup and What's app in the mean time. She did say the once she is terrible at replying to people but I can't understand how she can use social media or put her name down for these Meetup events which are happening right now or this weekend but doesn't have time to send a short text. I know people have busy lives to reply but she blatantly ignoring what I have sent. Is it me or am I just being used?

Last edited by Miss Blue; 05-13-2017 at 03:45 PM..
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Old 05-13-2017, 04:41 AM
 
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I wouldn't pick her as a friend just yet, you know, somebody you can count on when you need them quickly.

Do you enjoy going out with her?
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Old 05-13-2017, 07:00 AM
 
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I wouldn't consider her anything more than a pretty casual friend. She is not the type of friend that you can count on for real support
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Old 05-13-2017, 08:23 AM
 
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I don't know that you're being 'used' - IMHO that implies she is getting more than you are. Like, for example, if you had a really fabulous boat and she wanted to be able to use the boat but didn't really like you.

It sounds like you are far down on her list of commitments - she waits to reply to an invitation until she's fairly sure there's nothing else better going on.

I'd put her in that category too - if you enjoy her company, see her sometimes but don't rearrange your schedule to see her.
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Old 05-13-2017, 10:23 AM
 
Location: Middle of the ocean
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I think Clara nailed it.
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Old 05-13-2017, 10:56 AM
 
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I would continue going to meetups alone and putting effort into forming more new friends. Try not to expect too much attention from new people you meet as you may seem too "needy" and scare people off. And a lot of adults are not looking for a "bestie" friend but enjoy having more casual friendships.
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Old 05-13-2017, 12:08 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Harpaint View Post
I would continue going to meetups alone and putting effort into forming more new friends. Try not to expect too much attention from new people you meet as you may seem too "needy" and scare people off. And a lot of adults are not looking for a "bestie" friend but enjoy having more casual friendships.
Thanks for the tip. That's what I don't get, I am not needy and rarely contact this woman so I get that this is the case that she just wants a casual arrangement.
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Old 05-13-2017, 12:11 PM
 
76 posts, read 36,433 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ClaraC View Post
I don't know that you're being 'used' - IMHO that implies she is getting more than you are. Like, for example, if you had a really fabulous boat and she wanted to be able to use the boat but didn't really like you.

It sounds like you are far down on her list of commitments - she waits to reply to an invitation until she's fairly sure there's nothing else better going on.

I'd put her in that category too - if you enjoy her company, see her sometimes but don't rearrange your schedule to see her.
Thanks, that was a good example. I know where I stand now so she will be dropping off my list altogether.
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Old 05-13-2017, 12:22 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Grace84 View Post
Thanks, that was a good example. I know where I stand now so she will be dropping off my list altogether.
I think the healthiest thing for you to do is to get rid of her completely. Once we feel a certain way about a certain person, no matter how hard we try it's impossible for us to lower our expectations and still maintain that relationship. You may be way down her list but you won't be able to lower her on yours consciously. You will always be yearning for her company desperately, so move on.
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Old 05-13-2017, 12:30 PM
 
Location: Middle of the ocean
31,399 posts, read 19,826,802 times
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Not everyone is going to be your best friend (thank goodness!), some are acquaintances that hang with occasionally. It is normal for people to call when they are looking for someone to do something with them, that's not using.
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