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No, it's no about "keeping score," but you'd have to be a damn fool to keep helping someone who doesn't or rarely helps you.
If someone repeatedly takes advantage of me, they aren't a friend. But that's hardly the same as the one-time case of the OP expecting a favor in return for a favor. That's scorekeeping.
The one and only time I got suckered into helping someone move it was within the same building from the Fifth floor to the second floor of an East Village WALKUP. The guy was a decorator and, although his stuff was all high quality, you would not go far afield calling him a hoarder.
My back hurts just re-remembering the million trips up and down those steps.
My sister once asked me to help her move. What I did not know until I showed up with the U-Haul was that she was moving out on her husband. Soon after we started, hubby came home to find three quarters of their possessions on the back of a moving truck.
It is a lot of work to move people's furniture. That is why when most people want help moving, most friends run for cover and say they are busy.
So one time I was excited about having a new friend and when she asked for help moving things I was not too busy and spent my afternoon helping with the move.
I always thought that one aspect of friendship was: " I help you with something, and then you help me later" Life has told me through the years that most people don't think that way. I do them a big favor and then when I need help, they are usually too busy to help me. When I complain, they say my philosophy of: "I help you with something, and then you help me" does not make sense. They say "I don't owe you anything. You helped me, that was nice, but it should not be a tit for tat arrangement."
A common reply should be, "well find new and better friends." But most new friends seem to agree with the lady who I helped move but would not help me out when I needed her. Thoughts?
I remember once helping a friend pack for moving to a different location in the city. But when I needed a favor she was not interested in helping me. So I realized that she wasn't such a good friend and I simply moved on.
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