U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 05-17-2017, 09:29 AM
 
6,608 posts, read 2,379,668 times
Reputation: 15208

Advertisements

Soooo...


You both went to the same schools, growing up. And it sounds like, both of you had similar backgrounds. Heck, at one point, YOUR OWN MOTHER helped your cousin out.


Sooo...


What happened to you? Why don't YOU have the rich boyfriend/husband, etc.? Did she go to Ivy League college, and you didn't?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 05-17-2017, 09:36 AM
 
15 posts, read 7,681 times
Reputation: 22
I don't know to be honest. Cousin did not go to an ivy league college. It seems like maybe cousins mother had better connections in getting her into a college when poor cousin didnt like the first one she went to. I never wanted to be a nurse. I have done ok for myself...i have a masters degree that i applied to the school myself and paid for myself (with the help of my employer). She just always seems to have to one up everyone and it's usually through the help of someone else.

I have had some bad luck in life...and I will never be rich. I guess I am a bit of an unlucky person...and everything always falls into place wonderfully for her
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-17-2017, 09:38 AM
 
6,608 posts, read 2,379,668 times
Reputation: 15208
So why was your mom willing to help the cousin, but didn't help you?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-17-2017, 09:42 AM
 
15 posts, read 7,681 times
Reputation: 22
I wasn't looking to go to nursing school...my mom does help me as best she can. If i had wanted to go to nursing school she would have helped.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-17-2017, 09:49 AM
 
15,149 posts, read 19,771,420 times
Reputation: 21344
The title of your thread says it all. You're jealous and I guess you're asking others to point out that her life isnt so great. But her life does sound great and I wont tell you that it isnt.

I've never been the jealous type so I dont understand bring jealous of anyone or anything. The best thing you can do is to admit you're jealous and work on getting past it. You'll be so much happier if, as others have suggested, you dont compare your life to anyone else's.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-17-2017, 10:05 AM
 
15 posts, read 7,681 times
Reputation: 22
Default re

Quote:
Originally Posted by TFW46 View Post
The title of your thread says it all. You're jealous and I guess you're asking others to point out that her life isnt so great. But her life does sound great and I wont tell you that it isnt.

I've never been the jealous type so I dont understand bring jealous of anyone or anything. The best thing you can do is to admit you're jealous and work on getting past it. You'll be so much happier if, as others have suggested, you dont compare your life to anyone else's.
No I didnt expect anyone to point out that her life isnt great. Why do you seem gung ho on rubbing it in that her life IS great though? So to you i guess a great life equals marrying rich? Just curious.

I have had this person in my life my whole life seeing everyone pick up the pieces for her so yes this irks me.

I am obviously admitting that I am jealous hence my post here, lol. What you are saying doesn't make much sense. Obviously I dont WANT to be jealous and I wish i wasnt. But I cant help but wish she were poor. There i said it haha.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-17-2017, 10:21 AM
 
5,460 posts, read 2,349,714 times
Reputation: 15096
I think it's somewhat normal to feel envious!

Now...what do we do with it? What's your own plan? Goals? Can you use this feeling and turn it on its head? What can you do to feel good about you?

Wait! You have a Masters AND funded it yourself?!!! Girl, you got this. You rely on NO ONE. You are self sufficient & don't have to answer to anyone. You take care of yourself! IMO that's worth wayyy more than marrying for dough.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-17-2017, 10:24 AM
 
6,387 posts, read 5,432,615 times
Reputation: 11015
Well, she's not going to wreck her life just to make you happier (just as she's not engaged to a rich man just to make you feel bad), so it's best you focus on yourself and stop obsessing over her so much.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-17-2017, 10:27 AM
 
3,268 posts, read 2,395,003 times
Reputation: 2682
I think it's normal to feel this way particularly if you have had this person in your life all along on a similar path. It makes you wonder how things work out well for some and not well (I don't know if your situation is unwell).

I see bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people. Some people just continuously seem to be handed things without having to work hard. I sometimes have hoped this people get a dose of hard times so they know how it feels...but often times they never do.

Life is not fair. I know of a few people like this as well. In this person's case as someone else mentioned-she is 37 and unmarried, no kids i assume? This isn't a perfect life for most women. She has maybe had her own struggles that you don't know about. NOT to say that women can only be happy with kids...but it sounds like this girl has wanted to be married and happy given her divorce at 29.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-17-2017, 11:03 AM
 
Location: Colorado
1,022 posts, read 517,584 times
Reputation: 2076
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scarlettivy01 View Post

Why do some people get everything they want in life?
The bottom line is b/c life isn't fair. There will always be someone smarter, richer, prettier. But there will always be someone dumber, poorer & more homely. Envy (not really jealousy, you're more envious than jealous) is a normal emotion that most people feel at some point in their lives. But it says more about you, than it does her. It's not fair that she seems to get everything easily handed to her, but there will always be people who do. If you're not one of those people, then you need to figure out how to get the brass ring (or whatever it is you want) on your own. Which, you sound like you have a good handle on already!

What I can tell you from experience, is that everyone has heartbreak & challenges in life. They may be wealthy, they may have had things handed to them on a silver platter, but I promise you that if you were able to sit down & have a serious heart to heart, you would be surprised at the challenges they have in life. You might develop a different empathy. I'm not suggesting you should have that heart to heart, as chances are your cousin wouldn't be honest about it, as no one wants to show others their "weaknesses", but I promise you that her life is not as perfect as it seems.

The answer lies with you though. You don't truly wish ill for her, do you? How would you feel if your superficial wish for her to marry a poor or average guy came true. If her man left her tomorrow & devastated her, you wouldn't truly be happy that came to fruition, right? I get that you may have a moment of 'she deserves it', but deep down it sounds like you care about her. Just focus on yourself OP & doing the best you can do for your life. It sounds like you have some life experience, you know deep down that her life just seems perfect on the outside. When you focus on you, your feelings will eventually pass.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top