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Old 05-17-2017, 06:55 PM
 
16,990 posts, read 20,588,424 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fluffythewondercat View Post
Riiight.

Because neither your husband nor your best friend are the least bit aware of how obsessed you are with your cousin.

Other than having to hear about it all the time, that is.
That's probably why they say they don't find the cousin attractive, hoping the OP will not talk about her.

Hard to believe that someone who is approaching middle age is obessed with this. Can't even get that the 37 year old cousin who already has one short term marriage behind her, could be heading towards disaster again. There is no guarantee that this will work out. So what if he has money, if he turns out to be abusive what does it matter?

OP has a husband she seems happy with, never occur to her the cousin could be envious of her? She has a happy marriage, the cousin hasn't found that yet and 40 is just around the corner.
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Old 05-17-2017, 07:05 PM
 
15 posts, read 7,648 times
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My dh's friend had a brief my cousin over 10 years ago. We've discussed her looks even before dh and i married. She's not his type...she was cuter in her 20s. My best friend woild also tell it to me like it is. They arent afraid to say it...plus thats just silly. She isnt that good looking is my point.
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Old 05-17-2017, 08:43 PM
 
Location: Texas
43,403 posts, read 52,384,520 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RubyDee View Post
Let me get this straight you are upset because your cousin is happy and is going to marry a man she loves. Wow!
Yeah.
It takes all kinds, I guess.
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Old 05-17-2017, 11:45 PM
 
Location: Middle of the ocean
31,268 posts, read 19,729,636 times
Reputation: 45138
At the end of the day how much does this affect your life?
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Old 05-18-2017, 03:55 AM
 
Location: Canada
5,691 posts, read 4,118,076 times
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OP, don't be so upset at her success. Jealousy is a horrible trait.

Be happy for her and be happy for you (if you have a good life) If you don't, then work on making it better instead of comparing her life with your life.
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Old 05-18-2017, 04:42 AM
 
3,751 posts, read 7,462,506 times
Reputation: 3711
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scarlettivy01 View Post
I guess I've just watched her get what she wants her whole life with a lot of help from others. Part of me wonder, well why the heck didn't i have all the support that she has had. She will often start something, dislike it, then has all these people around her getting her into something else. She never has been one to work for anything except the divorce i guess which on one could help with. in high school we were at an elite private school and she felt she was treated unfairly on the basketball team as did her family (Didnt get to play enough) so they moved her to another fancy private school. In college she went off to a top college, was sad because she didnt like the city and wasnt near her boyfriend so her parents got her into another great college close by and she graduated on time, no issues. Most other people would have had to suck it up and/or wouldnt graduate on time, etc. Then she hated her job shortly after college, cried about it and my own mother helped her get into a nursing school whereas many other people were having long admission waits. she just never has to work for anything and her family calls her 'princess'.

It just does irritate me that now she still landed on her feet. She was dating another guy for a year RIGHT before this guy. My guess is she found this money bags guy and ditched the poor other guy. I just wish she wasnt ending up with a rich man to flaunt herself with. No i dont want to see her unhappy but would have been nice to just see her end up with an average dude.
I get it. It's irritating. But it is what it is. Sometimes there are people who just seem to float through life. But more often than not, it all evens out. I has so many acquaintances 10 years ago that seemed just like her. So many were trophy wives. Over the 10 years there are a few still leading (per Social Media) charmed lives, but far more divorces, financial issues, parenting/child problems.

So, you run your own race. The rest will even out.
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Old 05-18-2017, 04:58 AM
 
3,864 posts, read 1,639,906 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by StilltheSame View Post
I get it. It's irritating. But it is what it is. Sometimes there are people who just seem to float through life. But more often than not, it all evens out. I has so many acquaintances 10 years ago that seemed just like her. So many were trophy wives. Over the 10 years there are a few still leading (per Social Media) charmed lives, but far more divorces, financial issues, parenting/child problems.

So, you run your own race. The rest will even out.
The last sentence is the most important one. Run your own race. Some people do have others helping them out a lot more than others, but that doesn't mean that without that help they'd be lazy. Those people can still be hard workers on their own. Nursing is still a hard job, so the OP's cousin isn't going to be successful at it by sitting on her butt all day ignoring patients. *Many* people end up using connections and networking to get their foot in the door at better schools and better jobs, but once they have those jobs, it is up to them. I've worked in jobs where people got the job, but once they were there, they just couldn't cut it. I've worked with other people who got the job because of networking who were just fantastic.

The successful people just used what advantages they had (who wouldn't) and still ran their own races. The unsuccessful people expected other people to run the races for them. It sounds like the OP's cousin might be somewhere in the middle. She had a bad starter marriage and was single for 8 years during prime childbearing years after that (which doesn't sound "charmed" to me), but had a successful career in nursing. The fact is that she's still 37. If she wants kids, it may not turn out all rainbows and unicorns for her by the time she's able to try for kids.
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Old 05-18-2017, 10:07 AM
 
17,525 posts, read 3,975,653 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Scarlettivy01 View Post
I have a cousin who i was close with up until i was about 25 then we grew apart. We both grew up going to private school and that having an education was very important etc. I always noticed she seemed to be more enchanted with money than i wa. Seemed to always have friends who had a lot, was very important to her where her boyfriends went to school. She is i guess you could say snobby but acts very nice to everyone's face. At 29 she married a guy who looked good on paper (ivy league school, running his own business) but their marriage lasted about 6 months.

About 8 years later she is in a serious relationship where she's moving to be with a guy who has a very high profile lucrative career. I cant help but feel irritated. I feel like for the love of God why do you always have to go for the people with money? Her two sisters also have a lot of money. One was smart and has a good job, the other married money also. Their mother also encouraged them to marry well but it makes me irritated to see that they all did. I cant help but wish the one im talking about married someone average...i really dont feel like hearing about what a fabulous life she will be having for the rest of her life. She's nothing special...why does she get to be rich? So many women find no one yet she finds someone who is just what she and her family always wanted for her.

Why do some people get everything they want in life?

I get that she was divorced once so it wasnt alwaya easy but again she married him because he fit her mold...ive never seen her date an average joe kind of guy.
have you ever thought about trying to get rich yourself?Like you could do that by starting a business if being wealthy is really important to you.
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Old 05-18-2017, 12:00 PM
 
18,271 posts, read 23,399,178 times
Reputation: 34132
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scarlettivy01 View Post
I have a cousin who i was close with up until i was about 25 then we grew apart. We both grew up going to private school and that having an education was very important etc. I always noticed she seemed to be more enchanted with money than i wa. Seemed to always have friends who had a lot, was very important to her where her boyfriends went to school. She is i guess you could say snobby but acts very nice to everyone's face. At 29 she married a guy who looked good on paper (ivy league school, running his own business) but their marriage lasted about 6 months.

About 8 years later she is in a serious relationship where she's moving to be with a guy who has a very high profile lucrative career. I cant help but feel irritated. I feel like for the love of God why do you always have to go for the people with money? Her two sisters also have a lot of money. One was smart and has a good job, the other married money also. Their mother also encouraged them to marry well but it makes me irritated to see that they all did. I cant help but wish the one im talking about married someone average...i really dont feel like hearing about what a fabulous life she will be having for the rest of her life. She's nothing special...why does she get to be rich? So many women find no one yet she finds someone who is just what she and her family always wanted for her.

Why do some people get everything they want in life?

I get that she was divorced once so it wasnt alwaya easy but again she married him because he fit her mold...ive never seen her date an average joe kind of guy.
woman have a wild card in life,,,
they have the real natures candy.... and it isn't raisins

many men like having a looker for a girlfriend/wife


one true virtue/goal women do seek,,,is security ... and many women equate money with security
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Old 05-19-2017, 07:05 AM
 
9,864 posts, read 3,920,333 times
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I think we all kind of do get what the OP is saying. It's irritating to have a family member or acquaintance that everything is handed to and doesn't ever seem to earn their success, or really deserve it.

There's a German term - schadenfreude - which means taking pleasure in another person's misfortune.

I just disagree that this cousin has a great life - and who knows if this wealthy boyfriend she has will work out and be long-term.
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