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Old 06-02-2017, 09:11 AM
68 posts, read 46,722 times
Reputation: 108


Originally Posted by Destiny74 View Post
This. Exactly. Why have people in your life like this? You deserve better.
Because the entire world doesn't revolve around YOU.

It's a graduation. He has the right to have it the way he wants it, including omitting a family member. He may not have professional photographs but with cell phones, that isn't even an issue anymore.

My BIL was on our Counties most wanted list a few times. We all got along due to working together to forcee some of these things. No ultimatums, this isn't the Army. It's a family. And i would never want my BIL hurt, he was also a close friend of mine and my sons.

This whole thing is just sad. The dis-respect shown to the sick one and husbands family. Hopefully Mom will stay out of things next time
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Old 06-02-2017, 09:44 AM
Location: Denver CO
21,178 posts, read 11,803,134 times
Reputation: 32193
Originally Posted by Pocopsonite View Post
The honest-to-goodness truth is that a high school graduation is not a very big deal anymore. Yeah, they have a h.s. diploma. Big deal.

If a student is valedictorian or in the top 10% of the class, definitely an achievement to be applauded. Otherwise, isn't it kinda like the trophies for "participation" in sports? Show up, get the piece of paper, no idea what it really measures?
Not a "truth" as far as I'm concerned. Yes, it's true that a high school diploma isn't going to land you a career. But finishing high school is still a big accomplishment, wherever you go from there. And the people who just show up but don't actually do the required work do not in fact get a piece of paper. Whatever one's class rank, getting the diploma is proof that you have fulfilled the necessary requirements to graduate.
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Old 06-02-2017, 11:06 AM
16,720 posts, read 14,711,325 times
Reputation: 41129
Originally Posted by 2martins View Post
Honestly I wanted the day to be about my son for once and not all about SIL1 who is mentally ill. She's only recently out of the hospital and my husband and I really thought it would be a bad idea to invite her. If you invite her and she doesn't want to go she could feel pressured and be upset. Or think it means you want a present even though you "know she can't come." Then during the event if she gets upset everyone would have to be worried about her and ignore our son. This has nothing to do with not liking her. It has to do with her being psychotic some times and you don't know when.
OP, I too have a SIL that has manipulated every family event to the nth degree until I put a stop to it. She is bipolar and has been to many doctors about it but refuses to take her meds. So there are some of us who do understand why you wouldn't want her there.

Those that don't have experience with this kind of thing won't understand, and you don't have to explain yourself.
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Old 06-02-2017, 11:51 AM
1,678 posts, read 974,176 times
Reputation: 4680
OP, as you've noted, the day is about your SON. If he, doesn't want a potentially disruptive relative there, you and your husband have done the right thing. The MIL and other SIL had no business inviting her to his event, and BIL's blackmail over the photo shoot was reprehensible. I hope you're getting a sincere apology from them. If your son wants to see any or all of these family members at another time, that's his decision too. Don't let the family or other posters here try to manipulate you into feeling guilty.
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Old 06-05-2017, 11:08 PM
87 posts, read 259,678 times
Reputation: 66
I re-read my OP and realized that I left out the fact that we discussed the inlaws plans to visit. Who was coming, how they were travelling, where they would be staying, etc. Never once was SIL1 mentioned. I assumed that my MIL wh o did NOT want SIL1 to visit at Christmas still felt that way. Obviously they changed their minds, I'm not sure why, but they never mentioned it to us prior to inviting her. So I think they should have called and talked to US, given they they are the ones that changed their minds.
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