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Old 05-18-2017, 08:32 AM
 
1,229 posts, read 900,268 times
Reputation: 2510

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I'd need to know more about why the SIL wasn't originally invited to say whether you made the right call.

I do think that they were wrong to go behind your back and invite her, that was not their decision to make. But that isn't going to fix the issue of none of them now attending and there being no photographer that you apparently promised.

Was BIL going to be paid for this event? Was there a contract in place? Never rely on someone's word for something this important, especially when it's with family you already have drama with.

When he said he was willing to reconsider if the relationship was repaired, he meant that you will be the one doing the mending, not him. Without knowing what the original problem was, I can't say whether you should just suck it up or not.

I assume they're also going to hold it against you if you arrange someone else to do the photos, even though you obviously have to since he is now refusing to give a firm commitment. Ugh.
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Old 05-18-2017, 09:10 AM
 
Location: The sleepy part of New York City
1,946 posts, read 1,205,192 times
Reputation: 4322
Your priorities are screwed up.

It's your son's graduation. It's his big day. Forget the relatives.. forget the drama that has nothing to do with him and celebrate HIS BIG DAY.

and just hire a darn photographer or take photo's yourself.
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Old 05-18-2017, 09:17 AM
 
Location: San Diego, CA
3,519 posts, read 4,835,214 times
Reputation: 3999
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2martins View Post

So far no response. Totally pissed here. I can't find any advice on line pertaining to this because NO ONE DOESModerator cut: delete THIS!!!!
Ha ha ha how much response were you expecting in the middle of the night?
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Old 05-18-2017, 10:00 AM
 
2,054 posts, read 1,097,515 times
Reputation: 3945
How old is your son? Are there tickets for everyone? How do the MIL and SIL know who you invited?
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Old 05-18-2017, 10:55 AM
 
Location: Chicago. Kind of.
2,895 posts, read 1,647,896 times
Reputation: 7909
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie View Post
Why are you making your son's graduation about YOU? It doesn't sound as though it's due to space constraints (tickets), so what's the big deal? And why would you send an announcement to anybody you deliberately want to keep away?
An Announcement is NOT an invitation.
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Old 05-18-2017, 10:58 AM
 
Location: Ft Myers, FL
2,591 posts, read 1,287,669 times
Reputation: 4812
Quote:
Originally Posted by Missy2U View Post
An Announcement is NOT an invitation.
And an announcement WITHOUT an invitation is an insinuation!
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Old 05-18-2017, 10:58 AM
 
16,720 posts, read 14,692,102 times
Reputation: 41119
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2martins View Post
So the next morning her husband emails me and tells me he won't photograph the ceremony as he promised to do months ago.
So get another photographer. It's a graduation, not a family sitting for Easter with clothing changes.
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Old 05-18-2017, 11:00 AM
 
16,720 posts, read 14,692,102 times
Reputation: 41119
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie View Post
And why would you send an announcement to anybody you deliberately want to keep away?
Good question. You don't want them there, but you don't want your son to miss out on getting a check?
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Old 05-18-2017, 11:57 AM
 
10,134 posts, read 4,039,262 times
Reputation: 25634
Quote:
Originally Posted by elliedeee View Post
Your priorities are screwed up.

It's your son's graduation. It's his big day. Forget the relatives.. forget the drama that has nothing to do with him and celebrate HIS BIG DAY.

and just hire a darn photographer or take photo's yourself.
This IS his big day - a day he should expect extended family to be there to celebrate with him - and now with this mess even Grandma isn't going to be there.

It's a hairy greasy mess.

Last edited by ClaraC; 05-18-2017 at 12:08 PM..
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Old 05-18-2017, 12:23 PM
 
Location: Ft Myers, FL
2,591 posts, read 1,287,669 times
Reputation: 4812
Does your son want his aunt there?
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