U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 05-18-2017, 04:04 PM
 
Location: Denver CO
21,177 posts, read 11,791,368 times
Reputation: 32188

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by seain dublin View Post
Very doubtful the BIL is a professional photographer.

OP expects everyone to do as she says or else. It looks more like she is the problem and not all these other family members.
OP mentioned something about disappointing the entire senior class - that's why I think that it wasn't simply a request for the BIL to take pictures of the OP's son.

But I also wonder why everyone is always so quick to judge a poster because they have judged their family member. Maybe the OP doesn't choose to air dirty laundry but there is obviously some issue between them and the uninvited SIL and I have zero doubts that the MIL and other SIL were well aware of this and chose to rudely invite SIL anyway.

I just had a function where my sister wanted me to include someone - not that I had a problem with the person, but she still asked me if I was willing to invite them, and I was the one who sent out the invitation. If I had no, I was sorry but I couldn't include them, for whatever reason, then I would have been furious if my sister invited them anyway.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 05-18-2017, 05:51 PM
 
5,466 posts, read 2,925,752 times
Reputation: 24532
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2martins View Post

So then SIL tells my husband well I won't come if sister isn't invited. My wonderful husband replies, Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. We'll really miss you. So the next morning her husband emails me and tells me he won't photograph the ceremony as he promised to do months ago.

I told him that while I understood his wife not coming that he made a commitment to my son and the entire graduating class and that I expected him to honor his commitment.

He responded that well his first priority is MIL and SIL and maybe if we can repair our relationship he will be able to shoot the ceremony.
I am so confused--you did not invite the wife of the photographer? You diss his wife, MIL and SIL and still expect him to do the photography???!!!

I think you should have told him all that information BEFORE you asked him to photograph.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-18-2017, 06:02 PM
 
17,002 posts, read 20,682,700 times
Reputation: 33988
Quote:
Originally Posted by emm74 View Post
OP mentioned something about disappointing the entire senior class - that's why I think that it wasn't simply a request for the BIL to take pictures of the OP's son.

But I also wonder why everyone is always so quick to judge a poster because they have judged their family member. Maybe the OP doesn't choose to air dirty laundry but there is obviously some issue between them and the uninvited SIL and I have zero doubts that the MIL and other SIL were well aware of this and chose to rudely invite SIL anyway.

I just had a function where my sister wanted me to include someone - not that I had a problem with the person, but she still asked me if I was willing to invite them, and I was the one who sent out the invitation. If I had no, I was sorry but I couldn't include them, for whatever reason, then I would have been furious if my sister invited them anyway.
The OP chose to post the scenario on here, no one knows who she is. There are literally thousands of HS and college graduations going on. She could have said what the "good reason" is, I have a feeling from her tone it's something petty.

And she never thought ahead of time if there is such bad blood that asking the BIL to be the photographer might be problematic?

He told her his first olbigation is to his wife and immediate family, I agree. I don't think it's right to back out of a promise, but he is saying his immediate family comes first.

Quote:
Originally Posted by GiGi603 View Post
I am so confused--you did not invite the wife of the photographer? You diss his wife, MIL and SIL and still expect him to do the photography???!!!

I think you should have told him all that information BEFORE you asked him to photograph.
Exactly, unless you enjoy drama.

I get the feeling the OP loves drama.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-18-2017, 06:03 PM
 
Location: Boston
3,732 posts, read 1,471,642 times
Reputation: 5802
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2martins View Post
Sister in law and Mother in law saw that other sister in law wasn't invited to my son's graduation.

first Mom in law sent me an email with sisters email address since I must not have it. I thanked her since I would definitely need it for an announcement.

MIL and SIL talk and decide (without talking to my husband or me) that they will invite the other sister anyway, assuming that I will cave in once she's already been invited since uninviting her will hurt her feelings.

Husband and I remain adamant she's not invited. Obviously, we have very good reason for this.

We tell MIL she needs to take care of it. Mother in law admits what she did was wrong and apologizes and SAYS she will take care of it but then procrastinates and talks to other SIL again and hasn't done anything yet.

So then SIL tells my husband well I won't come if sister isn't invited. My wonderful husband replies, Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. We'll really miss you. So the next morning her husband emails me and tells me he won't photograph the ceremony as he promised to do months ago.

I told him that while I understood his wife not coming that he made a commitment to my son and the entire graduating class and that I expected him to honor his commitment.

He responded that well his first priority is MIL and SIL and maybe if we can repair our relationship he will be able to shoot the ceremony.

I reply that I am willing to forgive and forget if they apologize, fix the problem, and I expect him to honor his commitment.

So far no response. Totally pissed here. I can't find any advice on line pertaining to this because NO ONE DOESModerator cut: delete THIS!!!!
Thoroughly confusing. Is there an adult in the room.?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-18-2017, 06:04 PM
 
Location: Denver CO
21,177 posts, read 11,791,368 times
Reputation: 32188
Quote:
Originally Posted by GiGi603 View Post
I am so confused--you did not invite the wife of the photographer? You diss his wife, MIL and SIL and still expect him to do the photography???!!!

I think you should have told him all that information BEFORE you asked him to photograph.
The photographer BIL's wife was invited as was the MIL. The SIL invited her other sister, who had been explicitly not invited, and then decided she wasn't going to come if the person she rudely invited to someone else's event was not included.

I still think OP needs to let go of the idea BIL will take pictures, but your description isn't accurate.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-18-2017, 06:12 PM
 
10,169 posts, read 4,055,986 times
Reputation: 25764
Quote:
Originally Posted by jonesg View Post
Thoroughly confusing. Is there an adult in the room.?
Uhh, yes. My guess is, that would be the young man who is graduating who is caught up in this nastiness.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-18-2017, 07:53 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
78,711 posts, read 70,579,935 times
Reputation: 76686
OP, just hire a photographer and move on, already.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-18-2017, 07:58 PM
 
Location: Ft Myers, FL
2,593 posts, read 1,289,143 times
Reputation: 4812
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
OP, just hire a photographer and move on, already.
Not always available last minute during graduation season.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-18-2017, 08:02 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
78,711 posts, read 70,579,935 times
Reputation: 76686
Quote:
Originally Posted by Corvette Ministries View Post
Not always available last minute during graduation season.
Yes, I know, I mentioned that in an earlier post, but the sooner she starts looking, the better her chances of finding one. And as someone else pointed out, the school may have arranged for one.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-18-2017, 10:30 PM
 
Location: Georgia
4,562 posts, read 4,096,532 times
Reputation: 15768
Just curious -- it's your son's graduation -- who does HE want to invite?

Proceed accordingly.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top