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Old 05-18-2017, 04:36 AM
 
264 posts, read 147,875 times
Reputation: 102

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Il try and explain without going into too much detail.
We live in U.K.
My friend met a Italian man who had been in country a couple of weeks.
Got pregnant within 2 months.
Fast forward 4 years they together with 3 year old.
5 months ago social services arrived at door and told her that her boyfriend had been arrested.
He has been charged with 12 charges against 4 women (waitresses who he worked with)all 17 and classed as minors.
They are taking it to crown court and the solicitor has said unless he can prove he hasn't did these things he is looking at jail.
Then after jail he will be deported.
Texts on his phone to one girl (claims that it was his friend using his phone)
My friend is going to leave everything behind and move over there (Italy )
She believes he is innocent and the girls are lying etc
I'm worried about her and scared that she's going to ruin her life.
Do I say anything or just let her get on with it?
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Old 05-18-2017, 04:37 AM
 
3,752 posts, read 7,488,030 times
Reputation: 3711
Really? Is this even a question youhave to seek advice on? Of course you say something.
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Old 05-18-2017, 04:40 AM
 
264 posts, read 147,875 times
Reputation: 102
I'm worried if I tell her my concerns it might push her away.
I mean he might be innocent and they might drop charges.
I just have this horrible gut feeling
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Old 05-18-2017, 10:04 AM
 
4,044 posts, read 2,621,433 times
Reputation: 8757
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kellyanne29 View Post
I'm worried if I tell her my concerns it might push her away.
I mean he might be innocent and they might drop charges.
I just have this horrible gut feeling
Tell her your concerns in a way that emphasizes your concern for her not that her boyfriend is a jerk. Be sure to tell her you will always be there for her regardless of her decision.
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Old 05-18-2017, 10:44 AM
 
Location: South Florida
4,818 posts, read 5,371,260 times
Reputation: 4866
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rowan123 View Post
Tell her your concerns in a way that emphasizes your concern for her not that her boyfriend is a jerk. Be sure to tell her you will always be there for her regardless of her decision.
Great advice!
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Old 05-18-2017, 10:44 AM
 
Location: Watervliet, NY
4,273 posts, read 1,576,452 times
Reputation: 7837
She is an adult, albeit one who was stupid enough to get pregnant by a man she had only known 2 months.

There really isn't much you can say that will convince her to be smart about things. If there is a lesson to be learned here she may just have to learn it the hard way.
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Old 05-18-2017, 10:54 AM
 
6,333 posts, read 3,409,125 times
Reputation: 3499
Yes, you say something. However, don't be surprised if your words go unheeded.
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Old 05-18-2017, 11:37 AM
 
Location: SoCal again
16,067 posts, read 12,846,428 times
Reputation: 31390
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kellyanne29 View Post
Il try and explain without going into too much detail.
We live in U.K.
My friend met a Italian man who had been in country a couple of weeks.
Got pregnant within 2 months.
Fast forward 4 years they together with 3 year old.
5 months ago social services arrived at door and told her that her boyfriend had been arrested.
He has been charged with 12 charges against 4 women (waitresses who he worked with)all 17 and classed as minors.
They are taking it to crown court and the solicitor has said unless he can prove he hasn't did these things he is looking at jail.
Then after jail he will be deported.
Texts on his phone to one girl (claims that it was his friend using his phone)
My friend is going to leave everything behind and move over there (Italy )
She believes he is innocent and the girls are lying etc
I'm worried about her and scared that she's going to ruin her life.
Do I say anything or just let her get on with it?
her life is already ruined and obviously she isn't the smartest. At least he is just Italian - could be worse.


Look for less drama ridden friends and go visit her in Italy for a summer vacation if you must.
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Old 05-18-2017, 12:07 PM
 
Location: Wasilla, AK
7,264 posts, read 4,147,049 times
Reputation: 15697
One girl mght be a liar, but when there are four of them, I'm more inclined to believe the boyfriend is the liar.
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Old 05-18-2017, 01:59 PM
 
Location: Boston
3,732 posts, read 1,473,145 times
Reputation: 5803
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kellyanne29 View Post
Il try and explain without going into too much detail.
We live in U.K.
My friend met a Italian man who had been in country a couple of weeks.
Got pregnant within 2 months.
Fast forward 4 years they together with 3 year old.
5 months ago social services arrived at door and told her that her boyfriend had been arrested.
He has been charged with 12 charges against 4 women (waitresses who he worked with)all 17 and classed as minors.
They are taking it to crown court and the solicitor has said unless he can prove he hasn't did these things he is looking at jail.
Then after jail he will be deported.
Texts on his phone to one girl (claims that it was his friend using his phone)
My friend is going to leave everything behind and move over there (Italy )
She believes he is innocent and the girls are lying etc
I'm worried about her and scared that she's going to ruin her life.
Do I say anything or just let her get on with it?
If she listened to you and if you knew anything in the first place would she be in that situation now?
Scared she's going to ruin her life? where is your head at, it was ruined long ago.!
But she would not have listened and will not now.

You're over-involved. If someone wants to smack their head against the wall its not your place to deprive them of their own self induced suffering, its the only way anyone learns.
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