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There are some people who are just off. This is not to defend this type of behavior at all, but you have to consider that this person may have one or more personality disorders. They still have free will to be or not be a jerk, but in some ways they are locked in to destructive patterns of behavior.
These are very tricky for the average, non-disordered person to understand. Usually people just call them weird at best and other names. You wonder what the heck their problem is and usually just want to get away from them.
Now I feel little bit annoyed, but more a sense of empathy. It's possible this person may never understand that they are annoying the heck out of you. Your only counter-move is to not waste a second hating them, but feeling sorry for them as you would a helpless child. Imagine how much their life must suck if they look at every circumstance as a competition. Exhausting I would think.
Have you ever considered handing this person a business card from a local psychiatrist? Give it to them with a concerned look on your face. They might actually do it or take it as an insult. Either way you win.
People like this are threatened by the person that they compete with. Something that you do must threaten this person. Maybe you do something better than they do or they wish they could do it like you. Let's say you bake cakes for a living and you're really really good at it. They want to bake cakes and do, but no where near as good as you. Their insecurity about it and their personality makes it a competition to one up you in other areas to make them feel better about themselves.
Insecurity is something that when manifested in any shape or form is just crap. I hate it. One of the worst traits humans have. I get it though, we're all insecure on some level, but being unaware of it and acting out like the OP describes earns someone a quick one way ticket to get-the-heck-away-from-me-town.
It is easy for me to say this, but I dont think it is always easy to do. :-)
The Universe gives me problems to solve, not run away from. It is good for my 'growth' to find a solution to it and often I find that other people are being a mirror to my own issues which maybe I have not noticed or addressed. Then if I avoid the issue, it presents in another form in a different person or situation. Not saying that this is necessarily happening here, but this is what I believe and is my philosophy in life.
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'Cos I'm a man, I have to offer a solution rather than offer empathy so here goes.
You could try this...
You know [insert name here]... I get so much more out of life when I celebrate other peoples victories and achievements - dont you?
If that does not work, then try this
I will tell you a small secret which always works for me and I use it to 'fix' the difficult relationships I have occasionally with people as I go through life. It works whether you are religious or not (I am not). It acknowledges the inter-connectedness of all things and all people.
I say 3x in my head and thinking of/visualising the difficult situation/person... "I salute the spark of God within you" (or words to that effect)
Last edited by ocpaul20; 05-19-2017 at 11:10 PM..
Reason: typo
The OP describes high-dollar, high-stakes sales. The top reps for Apple, Microsoft, drug companies and autmobiles all make astonishing salaries because they understand the game and know how to overcome all objections.
It is a competition few are suited for and is why these players make what they do.
It's a skill that can't be learned, and a work-life that few have a stomach for.
ironically,,,,they don't feel comparable and feel the need to be relevant
young men in particular do this..
years ago we had a young man transfer to our department and we instantly gave him a nickname of mr. "one-up"
whatever you have he had a bigger or better one....he hated that nickname and stopped doing it..
a wise person is humble a weak man/person is arrogant..
I know someone like this. It started out where he was saying this stuff to impress others and it was working. But after a while, people started questioning his claims and it led to them questioning other things he had said.
I ignore and stay away from people with such a "competitive" mentality. Life is too short to be around some people and their annoying behavior.
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