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Old 06-24-2017, 06:37 PM
 
4 posts, read 1,589 times
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Hi guys,

yep i've personally had a lot of experience of people with compettition issues. Some of these people are actually supposed to be family members ! I've found that the only way to deal with negative people is to shut them out of my life and move on.Life really is too short to get bogged down hanging out with the wrong people.

My late grandfather used to say " be kind to those who are kind to you, whether they are your family or not"
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Old 06-24-2017, 07:36 PM
 
Location: Missouri
345 posts, read 159,046 times
Reputation: 938
I dated a guy like that (but not for very long) many years ago. I had noticed that he was kind of competitive with other guys, in social settings no less. It didn't occur to me that this extended to everyone in his life until the afternoon he proposed we do the Sunday NY Times crossword puzzle together. It became clear very quickly that he had not suggested this as a fun, collaborative thing. Hmm, wonder if this propensity has anything to do with the fact that he's now divorced from his fourth wife.
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Old 06-26-2017, 08:12 PM
 
16,025 posts, read 19,584,879 times
Reputation: 26195
Quote:
Originally Posted by NoMoreSnowForMe View Post
Oh man, I recently encountered one of these, yet again, at 61 years old! It was a volunteer organization, and as soon as I figured out what her deal was, I just quit. Not worth it.

So, if you are in a situation where you can just quit or stay away from them, I advise that.

This latest person in my life would ask for help on something within a volunteer organization. Then if I, or anyone else, offered their help and their qualifications as to why their help would be worthy, this person would then seem angry, as if they were trying to show her up, and would then claim to have a degree on the subject.

And everyone in the room is thinking, where in the world did this anger come from? As if the person who offered to help -after help was asked for - was then insulting the person who asked for help!

Then, you realize that she never really wanted help. At any rate, it was just insanely twisted.

I had recently helped the organization recover from a potential huge disaster, and for some reason this woman found that to be an insult to her personally, and she did everything she could to prove she was just as...fill in the blank - capable, worthy, smart...whatever....as me. She turned it into some weird competition to prove I was not needed because she could do whatever I could do.

At any rate, who needs that kind of twisted angry energy in their lives? I wished the organization well, and got the hell out of there LOL.

Hope you can, too.
I agree. Life is way to short to waste time and energy on unnecessary drama and angst.
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Old 06-27-2017, 09:10 AM
 
Location: Texas
9,173 posts, read 3,547,368 times
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Originally Posted by stava View Post
So, you're just there, floating along in life, doing your thing. You're happy, you're fine. Then you get someone in your life who sees everything as a competition. Everything is reduced to a game to be won. So none of their interactions with you are genuine, because there's always an agenda.
I knew a girl in college like that, we were sort of friends, but I decided not to keep in touch with her after graduation. She was extremely competitive about everything. I don't see my relationships with other people as a competition. I ran across her profile on social media a while back and yes, she's showing off like crazy. She might as well be wearing a giant neon sign that says "look at me, how great I am".
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Old 06-28-2017, 07:59 AM
 
1,394 posts, read 540,546 times
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Stay away from them PERIOD.WHY would you want to stay around someone like that anyways?
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Old 06-28-2017, 04:42 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
1,818 posts, read 2,185,322 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by codergirl View Post
Stay away from them PERIOD.WHY would you want to stay around someone like that anyways?
You can't avoid the person in all cases. Mine is at work and I have to have contact with him. It's creepy when I see him copying me, taking on my mannerisms. Just today I caught him glaring at me when he thought I wasn't looking. It's not ok when you're engaged in some kind of twisted ego competition that you didn't even agree to.
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Old 06-28-2017, 04:51 PM
 
5,048 posts, read 6,905,232 times
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Yep, you'll find them professionally and in charitable work, even in church.

A pastor appointed me to take care of arrangements for a church event. As we walked out of the meeting, this other person had left ahead of us with a little group of her own and was in the event area waving her arm about what would go here and what should go there. The little minions were nodding. Scarey to see actually.

I told the pastor in a stage whisper, I'll bow out, I'll let soandso do this. Some people don't have much in their lives so they need this kind of thing and I have tons in my life.

There's something passive aggressive mixed in with the actions of these people too.
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Old 06-28-2017, 05:06 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
1,818 posts, read 2,185,322 times
Reputation: 2772
Quote:
Originally Posted by cully View Post
There's something passive aggressive mixed in with the actions of these people too.
I agree. What I've experienced is that it's like they think everything you do or even are is intended to make them feel bad or "less than". Like you're only happy to shove it in their face that they're unhappy. Or you only like something because you know they don't like it. As if everything you do is intentional and meant to hurt them. Really they're like children, unable to see things from anyone else's point of view.
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