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I don't know how to go about that without being confrontational. That's not my desired objective.
I don't want to annoy him anyway, his mother just died a year or two ago.
Make a joke of it.... " Bloody hell mate you're worse than my ex/current girlfriend with the ringing/texting me " etc .... He should see the funny side of it.
He may be an introvert and enjoys his alone time more than most people. I'm the same way, so can relate.
I'd text him just to check in, no pressure of plans mentioned. He may communicate with you more frequently knowing that all communication doesn't have to end up with a commitment to meet up.
I get the impression this is a combination of disinterest and ADD. He has told me about the ADD and how he takes tablets for it and how he has been distant with his "close friends" lately, so this is why I don't want to rock the boat.
I am trying to be sympathetic to his cause and trying to understand how a disability like ADD could cause someone to not bother contacting people or appear distinterested? To me you are either disinterested or you are interested.
Unfortunately, i'm losing patience.
Last edited by GymFanatic; 05-20-2017 at 08:32 PM..
Aren't multiple invitations to meet up enough of an indication of my intentions? Do you not think that he should be returning the invite, at least once?
Well, if you have only met for coffee or meals then you've only met to sit and talk one-on-one. Surely you know by now what interests you both share. Trying inviting him to DO something together that you know you would both enjoy.
He either isn't interested, or he's like me. My dearest friend in the world is a woman from Queens, NY. I've known her for 26+ years. However, I very rarely ask her to go out. I just wait until she calls me. She probably "figured out the pattern" a couple decades ago and is fine with it, but I wouldn't make any assumptions about your friend. If it were me, I would ask him outright if he still wants to hang out, in a roundabout way.
He's not trying to ditch you because he is accepting the invitations. If he disliked your company, he would have an excuse for why he couldn't make the meeting.
There are all sorts of possibilities. Maybe he is socially awkward. Maybe he is passive. Maybe he is an introvert.
In my world, the person who does the inviting pays for the evening. Are you paying the tab for each of these activities? Because that opens up several more reasons he does what he does.
I suggest you cut back on frequency and expand the sorts of activities. There has to be something you are both interested in.
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