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Old 05-28-2017, 03:48 PM
 
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It's not basic at all, there is a lot more to it for many, many people.... Introvert vs extravert.
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Old 05-28-2017, 03:58 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mej210390 View Post
The question says it all, what factors and reasons are of some having more friends that others?
I think you should be someone who NEEDS to have lots of friends. That need will teach you how to behave and what to do to make and keep (a different story) lots of friends. People are also drawn to those who have lots of friends - they seem friendly!
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Old 05-28-2017, 04:01 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eureka1 View Post
They try harder.
This!
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Old 05-28-2017, 04:09 PM
 
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At its essence?

Being an interesting person to be with, as well as actually liking other people.
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Old 05-28-2017, 04:27 PM
 
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There are two different questions here.

One: "how can I make more friends? Because I want more friends in my life".

Two: "why do some people enjoy having a whole lot of friends, and others prefer having just a few?"

The answers to these questions are completely separate. I'm guessing that the OP is more interested in the first, but I'm just guessing.

Personally? I'm very introverted. So I can't answer the first question. I have a few close friends, and that's how I like it. I don't talk to more than one or two a week, and usually it's over the phone. I enjoy -- even need -- casual social interaction but for me it has to be time-limited, because I find it quite draining.

I was at a big extended-family get-together not long ago and the subject of introversion & extraversion came up. Everyone agreed that I was the most introverted person in the family. This doesn't earn any merit badges in my mainly-extraverted family. The most extraverted person was agreed to be one of my nieces, who was asked, "is there ever a time when you feel the need to be alone?" She thought for one second and said, "Nope, never."

I need to be alone for a majority of every day, or I start feeling like I'm going to get sick or go crazy. Pack enough people into a few days, I definitely will do both.
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Old 05-28-2017, 04:36 PM
 
Location: 60630
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I have a handful of friends. But most of them lives in Sweden. Here in The States I have 2 close once. But rarely hang out with them. I am busy with my family, school etc.
My sister is also very busy but she has tons of friends. She has always been very popular and people have always been drawn to her.
Thats life.
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Old 05-28-2017, 05:00 PM
 
Location: Arlington, VA and Washington, DC
23,642 posts, read 33,434,470 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mej210390 View Post
The question says it all, what factors and reasons are of some having more friends that others?
- extroverted
- privileged
- looks
- social status
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Old 05-28-2017, 06:20 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
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There is also the quality vs. quantity issue.

A person may have a wide circle of many friends, and while they may feel some genuine kinship with these people, they are inevitably stretched thinner with how much time and energy they can truly dedicate to each friend. Even the most thoughtful, time efficient person is going to have difficulty investing lots of time in each of their 100+ "close" friends. A mile wide, but an inch deep. Not that these people aren't good people who genuinely care about the people in this wide circle of friends (probably more accurately described as "affable acquaintance-ship" relationships), but this person's closest 100 friends can't set their expectations too high that they are going to get lots of person attention, and if they get too needy they're likely to get brushed off.

A person with a few (perhaps 2-5) very close friendships is going to be able to invest the time and energy into those friendships that the person with 100+ simply isn't. They are also going to be more selective and perhaps reclusive about who they chose to spend time with and only take on those friendships with people that they feel a lot in common with, or are super comfortable being around.

Last edited by Jowel; 05-28-2017 at 06:58 PM.. Reason: Grammatical corrections
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Old 05-28-2017, 06:37 PM
 
Location: Southern California
23,775 posts, read 8,259,495 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jowel View Post
There is also the quality vs. quantity issue.

A person may have a wide circle of many friends, and while they may feel some genuine kinship with these people, because they are stretched thinner in how much time and energy they can truly dedicate to each friend. Even the most thoughtful, time efficient person is going to have difficulty investing lots of time in each of their 100+ "close" friends. A mile wide, but an inch deep. Not that these people aren't good people who genuinely care about the people in this wide circle of friends (probably more accurately described as "affable aquaintance-ship" relationships), but this person's closest 100 friends can't set their expectations too high that they are going to get lots of person attention, and if they get too needy they're likely to get brushed off.

A person with a few (perhaps 2-5) very close friendships is going to be able to invest the time and energy into those friendships that the person with 100+ simply isn't. They are also going to be more selective and perhaps reclusive about who they chose to spend time with and only take on those friendships with people that they feel a lot in common with, or super comfortable being around.
I agree quality vs quantity.

I'm suspecting everyone here is pretty young. I pretty older, and have had a lot of friends in my life and I'm an extrovert.

At this point, I have a few close friends and we chat briefly on phone and email.

One needs to be interested and interesting.

And friends do come and go depending on the time in your life.
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Old 05-28-2017, 07:18 PM
 
Location: OHIO
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I suck at making friends. I am not good at talking to people I don't know. I envy those who do it with such ease and confidence. My mind literally goes blank and I think everything I say or ask is stupid.

But I will say I have great friends, so I did something right along the way
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