Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
some people cannot be by themselves or alone....they HAVE to be with others.. very gregarious, and love to socialize
usually these are people trying to run from their demons, not deal with them
Quote:
Originally Posted by GymFanatic
Looks and Self-Confidence based on my observations.
I'm skeptical of broad generalizations, and both of the above posts fall into that category. While both are undoubtedly applicable in some cases, I've seen too many cases that are just the opposite (Popular people with no demons, unattractive people with lots of friends) to believe that these are common scenarios.
I'm a type A personality and choose my friends carefully. I don't need an entourage to validate my self-esteem, but I do enjoy meeting new people would do anything for my close friends. We're all different, so trying to apply a one-size-fits-all hypothesis to broad swaths of personalities is simply unfair.
I don't have that many friends and I know why... I often choose to be alone rather than hanging out with other people. I get invited to do things but then after enough rejections people stop inviting me. A lot of this is due to my history with addiction rather than an expression of my genuine desires but that is a topic for another day. I am glad to call that my past and not my present.
My social life is evolving as I get older and learn more about myself. I am more social than I had thought, but at the same time I do need some alone time each day so I can't see myself ever being one of those social butterfly types. I feel overwhelmed when I have a lot of social events on my calendar. On the flip side of the coin I start to feel down when I've spent too much time alone. It is a delicate balance.
When I want to make friends I try to ask people questions about themselves, remember their stories, and complement them in a genuine way. I don't share enough about myself which I am working on.
My husband has one, and only one, friend (who is someone he's known since High School). He can be perfectly friendly and outgoing, however, and at different points in his life, he's had more friends. He enjoys spending long amounts of time by himself, and has been that way since childhood- comfortable alone, but not an introvert per se.
I think what it boils down to is that he just doesn't want to take the time to meet and get to know other people. At work, he is constantly engaged with people who are there to interact directly with him. He spends a lot of time "on stage" so to speak, so I think outside the workplace, he wants his alone time. When he does interact socially with other people, however, he he very friendly and outgoing, and when people are in our home, he's a much more attentive host than I am.
Last edited by Texas Ag 93; 05-28-2017 at 07:29 AM..
Being an introvert, my list of friends is short; although I have many acquaintances.
Growing up, my family was not social, we did have a few relatives visit now and then but for the most part we kept to ourselves. Both of my parents worked 12-14 hours a day and were too worn out to plan social events.
A casual friend I see now and then is very social; I asked her if her family was social and she said 'most definitely'.
So perhaps the way we're brought up may play into our preferences.
Well, I live in a foreign country where not many people speak English and the culture is quite different from my own. I travel a lot for work and I rarely live in one place longer than a couple years. The local friends I do have are 100% from work.
Some people would be miserable with this arrangement but I think it suits me pretty well. I have friends I've accumulated along the way and while we may be distant, we still somewhat keep in touch. Facebook, believe it or not, serves as a pretty adequate social outlet for me. I am a low-key, introverted type who tends to hate parties unless I know a lot of people. I'm pretty internal and as long as I stay busy, I rarely get lonely.
People are different. Some people are outgoing and the life of the party while others are introverted and prefer a smaller circle of friends. No big deal.
yes - people who have plenty of friends work harder at that (making friends) because it's important to them - it's a big deal.They may be depressed on their own .
Someone who isn't bothered won't be bothered ,and they will be very happy with just one or two friends - simples .
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
