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Old 06-01-2017, 03:27 PM
 
Location: Florida
3,407 posts, read 932,036 times
Reputation: 2721

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I've had these friends that I have been hanging out for the past year, but last weekend, we all went out of town together for the first time. Our first stop was to a dine in restaurant, and at the end, I paid my bill via credit card and gave the normal 20% tip. As we were about to leave, the waitress came back to my friend, and asked if she was happy with her service. My friend nodded and said it was good. The waitress then said my friend gave her the exact amount on the bill. That's when I caught on that she didn't leave a tip. I asked my friend if she was going to leave a tip, and she outright told the waitress no. That she don't believe in tipping. Serving her was the waitresses job and she should need tips. I told my friend most service workers work at no more that 2.15 and hour, and my friend told the waitress point blank "well, that's not my problem that your are so stupid enough to work for a job that pays minimum wage. So, good-bye"

I was so embarrassed and very upset with how my friend acted. I haven't talked to her too much since then, and wonder, has anyone else had this issue with friends who refused to tip? Or all of a sudden, short on money and need help in paying their bill (which has happened to me too before)
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Old 06-01-2017, 03:56 PM
 
6,608 posts, read 2,379,668 times
Reputation: 15208
I've had a couple of observations regarding tipping.


1.For whatever reason (I don't know why) women are OFTEN stingy tippers. I've seen it happen more than a few times. I don't get it though.
2. People from other countries don't even think about tipping...it's not a custom they're familiar with, especially because in OTHER countries, they pay their wait staff more adequately.


One time, I was dating this guy, and we went to a restaurant, and he kept our nice, sweet, very helpful waitress VERY busy, running for a bunch of stuff. At the end of our meal, we got up to go, and I noticed he didn't put down a tip. I asked him about it, and his response was "Well, my parents never tipped, and I'm not going to start now."


I grabbed some cash from out of my purse and put it on the table, as he was walking toward the cashier, but it wasn't really enough for the service we got. Which was way above par.


His action was just one more tic in the "this is a stingy guy, and I think we should break up" column. LOL
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Old 06-01-2017, 04:03 PM
 
5,473 posts, read 2,306,085 times
Reputation: 16480
Tattoo this on your wrist: A person who is nice to you but isn't nice to the waiter isn't a nice person.

Or, for that matter, the counter help at the dry cleaners. Or the cashier at the grocery store. Or the valet at the restaurant.

Mind you, you don't have to be best buddies with those you come in contact with as you patronize their businesses, but you do have to accord them basic respect and the job that they do, at least if you are a decent person.
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Old 06-01-2017, 04:52 PM
 
Location: Silicon Valley
3,619 posts, read 1,632,678 times
Reputation: 6140
I'm blatant in tip correcting. Alternatively I'll ask for a separate check and overtip on my part there. If I'm at the table, the waitstaff is getting tipped. My aunt in law recently asked me to dinner. I said I'd pick up my own bill and she allowed. She seems to think a couple of dollars is fine for a table of 10, and with the bill splits the auto tipping didn't kick in. I paid cash and the others paid with cards. The waitress came back and was confused, saying I think you overtipped. I said, look at the others and tell me if my family has changed. She did, and sure enough was a bunch of not much. She then thanked me, and of course made sure the others knew I'd essentially subsidized their tipping.

If some friends are too cheap, I simply won't dine with them in someplace I want to frequent again. We'll do burger king.
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Old 06-01-2017, 04:58 PM
 
10,212 posts, read 4,069,481 times
Reputation: 25852
I wouldn't be friends with someone who went to a sit down restaurant and got adequate service and didn't tip.

I go out to lunch or brunch often with friends, and we usually get separate checks. I'm surprised by how many will leave such a small tip - if their total bill is $10, they leave a dollar, or a dollar fifty even though they asked for substitutions and dressing on the side or asked for extra lemons. For their water, which came at no charge.

In my opinion, tipping by amount of the meal is SO unfair anyway. If you pay $60 for a meal that's served well, vs. $10 for a meal that's served well, it seems sad to leave the wait staff with the cheap meal a lesser tip.

But then, all my kids had been waiters in high school. So I often leave 100% tip on a lunch ticket.
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Old 06-01-2017, 05:19 PM
 
212 posts, read 97,821 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ClaraC View Post
I wouldn't be friends with someone who went to a sit down restaurant and got adequate service and didn't tip.

I go out to lunch or brunch often with friends, and we usually get separate checks. I'm surprised by how many will leave such a small tip - if their total bill is $10, they leave a dollar, or a dollar fifty even though they asked for substitutions and dressing on the side or asked for extra lemons. For their water, which came at no charge.

In my opinion, tipping by amount of the meal is SO unfair anyway. If you pay $60 for a meal that's served well, vs. $10 for a meal that's served well, it seems sad to leave the wait staff with the cheap meal a lesser tip.

But then, all my kids had been waiters in high school. So I often leave 100% tip on a lunch ticket.
See I have to disagree with you on that. Unless service at a restaurant is awful, I live the standard 15% tip (and this is regardless of whether the bill was $10 or $30). If the service is great, I'll do 20%. If the service was just okay I might do 15% or 10% based on my mood.

I've only not left a tip when my friend and I not only had an awful waiter, but a waiter who ignored us, was actually rude to us, and who dropped water all over me saying "It's just water".

IMO I'm reasonable with tips but some of my approaches may not follow the rules of "etiquette". I do not tip when picking up food whether it's pizza, BBQ or Chinese. I'm sorry, not tipping for just myself when all you do is put some napkins and 2 paper plates and 2 utensil set in a bag. I also don't follow the always pay 15%-20% for beauty treatments thing since it doesn't address time spent. I actually posted about this before. I started getting what they call microdermabrasian treatments on my face. The whole procedure takes less than 15 minutes. If her price is $55, I do feel between $8.25-$11 is too high simply due to the time so I'll give her $5. If I "upgrade" to get a mask on for $10, then I will make it a couple bucks more. I'm just not comfortable using the 15-10% tipping rule in the beauty industry. I did however get my hair done yesterday. My hair dresser spends hours on my hair and super thorough with getting every piece of hair colored. Her price is also reasonable at $85 and she usually tries to make time for me if I call her at the last minute. I have always left her a 20% tip. There's also massages which I don't get too often. The cheaper (I'm talking about non Thai places) places may be something like $65 for 60 minutes but a more "upscale" place (treatment is actually no different from each other) it may be something like $100 for 60 minutes. I'll leave a flat $10. I may leave more though if the person actually went above and beyond or who didn't try to "cheat" me somehow. I had a massage a month ago for 90 minutes. I was not late for my appointment. I was going to the leave the guy a 20% tip because he seemed like a nice guy, listened to what I wanted, and it was a great massage. When I checked the clock, I realized I only had 75 minutes of massage time. That right there was reason enough to leave him less of a tip. I ended up reviewing him on Yelp giving him 3 or 4 stars saying it would have been a perfect score had he actually given me the 90 minute massage that I paid for. He texted me the next day and said he feels bad and didn't realize he cut my massage short (I'm not sure how you could really not pay attention since as a massage therapist, you have back to back appointments and well, kind of need to be mindful of the time). He did offer me a complimentary 60 minute massage but I'm not sure or not if I want to come back.
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Old 06-01-2017, 05:51 PM
 
Location: Arizona
5,955 posts, read 5,309,871 times
Reputation: 17977
Quote:
Originally Posted by warhorse78 View Post
I've had these friends that I have been hanging out for the past year, but last weekend, we all went out of town together for the first time. Our first stop was to a dine in restaurant, and at the end, I paid my bill via credit card and gave the normal 20% tip. As we were about to leave, the waitress came back to my friend, and asked if she was happy with her service. My friend nodded and said it was good. The waitress then said my friend gave her the exact amount on the bill. That's when I caught on that she didn't leave a tip. I asked my friend if she was going to leave a tip, and she outright told the waitress no. That she don't believe in tipping. Serving her was the waitresses job and she should need tips. I told my friend most service workers work at no more that 2.15 and hour, and my friend told the waitress point blank "well, that's not my problem that your are so stupid enough to work for a job that pays minimum wage. So, good-bye"

I was so embarrassed and very upset with how my friend acted. I haven't talked to her too much since then, and wonder, has anyone else had this issue with friends who refused to tip? Or all of a sudden, short on money and need help in paying their bill (which has happened to me too before)
I don't associate with non tippers. If I am with someone and find out they are I will call them on it.
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Old 06-01-2017, 05:59 PM
 
5,824 posts, read 3,269,782 times
Reputation: 13980
I'm afraid I would not be friends with someone who refused to tip service workers. I wouldn't want to feel embarrassed every time I went to lunch or dinner with them, you know?


Most people who dine out have the sense to tip the hardworking servers. Those who don't should probably learn manners. Your friend comes across as needing lessons in etiquette.
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Old 06-01-2017, 06:35 PM
 
4,751 posts, read 4,035,285 times
Reputation: 9961
Would no longer be a friend.
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Old 06-01-2017, 07:05 PM
 
9,820 posts, read 5,020,682 times
Reputation: 33946
I definitely would no longer be friends with this person. Not only because she doesn't tip, but because she's rude as hell about it.
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