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Old 06-09-2017, 10:27 PM
 
789 posts, read 1,673,775 times
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Honestly, I think the solution here is to pick one thing that you DO like and then RAVE about it. Go overboard. Bring it up a few times (I wanted to thank you again for that great ___, it was so good) and mention it to others in front of him (Did I tell you about the delicious ____ that my dad brought over the other day). If all works out, he should start bringing you that thing and virtually nothing else. You may end up overloaded on that thing, but you can usually freeze stuff or at least you'll be able to eat it occasionally. My dad does this same thing and I've finally got it so that he just brings a lemon pie. I make a big deal about how happy it makes me, and sometimes he does find a really good one that I really enjoy. Other times I take it to work and leave it in the break room for someone else to eat. It's now turned into sort of a special thing for us, and I don't eat lemon pie unless my dad brings it. It makes it easier for him and I love that he knows the gesture is sincerely appreciated. My dad brings me lemon pies and I love him for it.
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Old 06-10-2017, 01:15 AM
 
9,657 posts, read 15,787,616 times
Reputation: 15967
I had just the opposite happen. Years ago I was off work and temporarily disabled due to needing a hip replacement. An elderly neighbor just assumed I was starving....and brought me the most delicious homemade meals. I told her I had food, it wasn't necessary, but she insisted I needed "proper food" to heal. Well, I always ate every bite, it was a lot better than what I had. I felt I was taking advantage of her, she just told me to pass it on someday when roles were reversed. I've always remembered that in how I treat my fellow man.......
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Old 06-10-2017, 01:11 PM
 
65 posts, read 41,619 times
Reputation: 155
Tell your father you are undertaking a low carbohydrate diet for health. No bread, no lunchmeat, no fruit is allowed. Tell him you've been reading up on the health benefits to everyone to cut their sugar intake.

Of course you'll have to modify your diet in front of him moving forward.

He is also probably looking for a way to get out of his role of caretaker and needing to run you over a sandwich or some grapes gets him away for a while.

You are a lucky person. Many would kill to have a father who cares this much.

Good luck!
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Old 06-10-2017, 02:06 PM
 
5,423 posts, read 2,892,270 times
Reputation: 24308
Quote:
Originally Posted by hellob View Post
He's retired and has to work all the time to pay his debts.
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Old 06-10-2017, 05:04 PM
 
3,531 posts, read 1,753,836 times
Reputation: 6230
Quote:
Originally Posted by GiGi603 View Post
He's a retired CO but works almost every day as a handyman...
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Old 06-10-2017, 05:05 PM
 
3,531 posts, read 1,753,836 times
Reputation: 6230
Quote:
Originally Posted by New2floridatoo View Post
Tell your father you are undertaking a low carbohydrate diet for health. No bread, no lunchmeat, no fruit is allowed. Tell him you've been reading up on the health benefits to everyone to cut their sugar intake.

Of course you'll have to modify your diet in front of him moving forward.

He is also probably looking for a way to get out of his role of caretaker and needing to run you over a sandwich or some grapes gets him away for a while.

You are a lucky person. Many would kill to have a father who cares this much.

Good luck!
Yes, I know that I'm lucky to have a dad who cares about me. It's a blessing.
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Old 06-10-2017, 05:12 PM
 
9,181 posts, read 9,156,037 times
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I like that you're trying to be so nice about his feelings.

You have two possible approaches:
-The specific: Thanks, Dad, but I only like green grapes.
-The general: Thanks, Dad, but I've become so finicky about food that it's impossible to second-guess me.

Either way, thank him and say (and remember, to yourself) how nice it is that he thinks of you. Then try to give it back. Yes, it will hurt his feelings a little, but it'll make more of an impression. And there's nothing wrong with saying: Dad, it's so sweet of you to think of me, but with food, I hate to see it go to waste, so could you call me first? I also like the idea of making a big fuss over anything you do like - not just at the time but also afterward: You know, Dad, I'm still enjoying those cookies.

By the way, corned beef should be eaten hot, but if you don't want to, why didn't you just let it cool?
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Old 06-16-2017, 12:41 PM
 
Location: Noblesville, IN
3,695 posts, read 4,074,553 times
Reputation: 6220
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cida View Post
By the way, corned beef should be eaten hot, but if you don't want to, why didn't you just let it cool?
This last part is funny to me...have you read the thread at all? Is there a corned beef handbook which states how one must eat it? Are we truly not allowed to have choices?

I find some of these statements to be so very imposing - I think the OP has a healthy view of the situation and is trying to handle it honestly and with integrity.

I have a sister who thinks she can inundate you with food. She never has enough money and likes to complain about it but will buy me food that she insists I will love. Before it even gets bought, I tell her, thank you but please do not buy me anything. I won't eat, husband doesn't like it either and please for the love of God, don't waste your money. For me, I abhor wasting food. I feel terribly guilty about all the food spoilage and that's why I make it perfectly clear. Sometimes, those people do it for themselves. It has nothing to do with you. But I feel after repeated, clear messages, it becomes insulting.

Anyway, who's to say how one should eat their corned beef? GOOD GRIEF!
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Old 06-16-2017, 05:10 PM
 
3,531 posts, read 1,753,836 times
Reputation: 6230
Quote:
Originally Posted by ShellNic View Post
This last part is funny to me...have you read the thread at all? Is there a corned beef handbook which states how one must eat it? Are we truly not allowed to have choices?

I find some of these statements to be so very imposing - I think the OP has a healthy view of the situation and is trying to handle it honestly and with integrity.

I have a sister who thinks she can inundate you with food. She never has enough money and likes to complain about it but will buy me food that she insists I will love. Before it even gets bought, I tell her, thank you but please do not buy me anything. I won't eat, husband doesn't like it either and please for the love of God, don't waste your money. For me, I abhor wasting food. I feel terribly guilty about all the food spoilage and that's why I make it perfectly clear. Sometimes, those people do it for themselves. It has nothing to do with you. But I feel after repeated, clear messages, it becomes insulting.

Anyway, who's to say how one should eat their corned beef? GOOD GRIEF!
Lol, thanks. I should have known better than to give examples bc the corned beef seemed to be the star of the post.
I took my dad shopping with me and made a point of verbalizing things I like and hate. I've also been working on telling him that I'm making something to eat so he won't bring food. Fingers crossed!
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Old 06-19-2017, 03:30 PM
 
Location: A Yankee in northeast TN
10,372 posts, read 14,216,741 times
Reputation: 22837
Quote:
I am also confused about why you would not eat warm corned beef on a sandwich.
For the same reason most of us wouldn't eat a reheated steak or hamburger with any enthusiasm, it alters the taste/texture. You can't just stick a heated sandwich in the fridge and expect it to taste the same as one that wasn't cooked.
I totally get the part about not wanting the dad to waste his money on things that aren't useful too. My mom does that, and I get that it's coming from a place of love but it hurts to know someone is sacrificing in order to buy you things that go to waste.

OP I like the idea of shopping together, but maybe you could take it a step further? "Hey pop, I hear the chicken salad (or whatever) here is pretty good, how about the next time you stop over we make some sandwiches and try it?" Maybe the sharing of food that he helps choose or prepare would satisfy his urge to love you with food.
Also if he forgets to change his order for you at the deli I thinks it's possible his memory is bad enough that he probably forgets sometimes what you do or don't like, or he's getting your likes confused with someone else, maybe the wife?
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