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I currently rent a "room" in a house. Unfortunately I have to live with my landlord. When I first moved in I tried to be friendly so he would get used to my presence and also because I wanted to make things less awkward for me. I learned over time that I do not enjoy talking to him, partly because he asks to do things for him that I feel like is not my responsibility to do and also because he can be very bitter and mean. He's an older wheelchair bound man who is basically bedridden because of his health issues; he pretty much lives on the sofa in the living room, where he also sleeps.
Nowadays, after realizing I dislike him, I pretty much see him only when I'm forced to: when I have to go inside to use the bathroom. I do not cook because there is no stove in the house and also the smell is so putrid that I quickly lose my appetite once I enter the house. In order to avoid him when I'm using the bathroom I listen to my Ipod so I have an excuse to not hear him when he calls for me. He said something yesterday along the lines of "I've been trying to talk to you all weekend but you always have your headphones on."
I want to feel bad about it, but I can't. First, I'm paying him money to live in an illegally rented shack (shed) in his backyard without electricity, heat, etc. Second, I just don't like him. Am I in the wrong here? Thanks.
You went in the deal to get a room. He went in the deal to get a free caretaker who pays rent. Get out of there
What about his other renters? Do you see them outside doing chores, or carrying in groceries for him, or painting the house, or anything?
Did you sign a lease? If "tenant is responsible for property maintenance" is in writing, that's one thing, but if you're paying him under the table and off the record he can't hold you to anything.
Did you sign a lease? If "tenant is responsible for property maintenance" is in writing, that's one thing, but if you're paying him under the table and off the record he can't hold you to anything.
Well, then he's got nothing. He can threaten to throw you out for not doing his chores, but you can threaten to call the city building division if he does.
On Saturday, my landlord wanted me to pick weeds in the back of the house. What the heck is going on here?
Of course I said no, but why if I'm paying him money does he want me to do things for him?
I currently rent a "room" in a house. Unfortunately I have to live with my landlord. When I first moved in I tried to be friendly so he would get used to my presence and also because I wanted to make things less awkward for me. I learned over time that I do not enjoy talking to him, partly because he asks to do things for him that I feel like is not my responsibility to do and also because he can be very bitter and mean. He's an older wheelchair bound man who is basically bedridden because of his health issues; he pretty much lives on the sofa in the living room, where he also sleeps.
Nowadays, after realizing I dislike him, I pretty much see him only when I'm forced to: when I have to go inside to use the bathroom. I do not cook because there is no stove in the house and also the smell is so putrid that I quickly lose my appetite once I enter the house. In order to avoid him when I'm using the bathroom I listen to my Ipod so I have an excuse to not hear him when he calls for me. He said something yesterday along the lines of "I've been trying to talk to you all weekend but you always have your headphones on."
I want to feel bad about it, but I can't. First, I'm paying him money to live in an illegally rented shack (shed) in his backyard without electricity, heat, etc. Second, I just don't like him. Am I in the wrong here? Thanks.
Let's count the ways this doesn't add up.
1. He isn't your landlord your his caregiver. He can't seem to do much for himself.
2. The smell is putrid? Like what? Is it because said landlord is unable to get around which means you should be calling adult protective services.
3. You live in a shed with no electricity or heat? Where the hell are you showering or pooping? You must live in a warm climate so you don't freeze.
4. No stove to be found in your room shed or his house? What the hell are you both eating?
1. He isn't your landlord your his caregiver. He can't seem to do much for himself.
2. The smell is putrid? Like what? Is it because said landlord is unable to get around which means you should be calling adult protective services.
3. You live in a shed with no electricity or heat? Where the hell are you showering or pooping? You must live in a warm climate so you don't freeze.
4. No stove to be found in your room shed or his house? What the hell are you both eating?
1. No, I'm paying rent. Caretaking was never in the agreement or even mentioned.
2. He has a colostomy, can't move much, and never bathes. It literally smells like poop and rotting flesh in there.
3. There is an extension cord coming from outside. What my landlord lives in is a converted garage of a house he inherited. He rents that house out and basically rents out everything else on his property too, except the living room where he stays alive. There is a bathroom, and that is the only time I even set a foot near him. I live in LA, so the climate is mostly warm. I was really suffering last winter though.
4. He took out the stove for whatever reason. At home I usually go out once a day for a cheap meal but mostly eat bagels, carrot sticks, or a 7-11 hot dog or something.
I'm posting because I have a small update. A couple days ago I spoke with him and said I might want to move out. I basically got him to plead to me to stay. I said I didn't like how I'm being treated. Not only has he been asking me to do these laborious jobs around the property, he has also been very nosy and critical of me whenever I talk to him. For example, I was talking about how I might want to go to grad school to study law, and he went on this crazy tirade telling me I'm not smart enough, etc. This is coming from a guy who only finished high school and has spent his life stewing about and collecting rent. I called him out on it. I could deal with the elements, etc. if he just treated me better!
I'm still trying to find (hopefully) my own place, but he's left me alone for the past couple days so I take that as a win.
I'm posting because I have a small update. A couple days ago I spoke with him and said I might want to move out. I basically got him to plead to me to stay. I said I didn't like how I'm being treated. Not only has he been asking me to do these laborious jobs around the property, he has also been very nosy and critical of me whenever I talk to him. For example, I was talking about how I might want to go to grad school to study law, and he went on this crazy tirade telling me I'm not smart enough, etc. This is coming from a guy who only finished high school and has spent his life stewing about and collecting rent. I called him out on it. I could deal with the elements, etc. if he just treated me better!
Why the H-E-double hockey sticks are you even having a discussion like that with him?
Don't offer up information if you truly don't want anything to do with him. You brought that one on yourself.
Keep your head down, stop expecting anything about this ridiculous situation to be rational – and just work on getting out.
You never "have to" be your LL's friend, but in situations like yours, it behooves you to be pleasant, since he can kick you out.
I can't help but wonder from your post if maybe you're a little lacking in empathy. Do you find it so surprising to find that an elderly, ill, solitary man might be "bitter"? By the way, he may be so used to the smell that he doesn't notice it; that's very common. You can probably get away with politely saying, "You know, it's very stuffy in here, especially with the cooking smells. Would you like me to open the windows to air the room out a little? Or have you ever tried air freshener"? It occurs to me that he probably can't open a window by himself, if he's in a wheelchair.
Seriously? I have a huge extended family that's lived in CA all their lives, and our lineage has been in CA since it was part of Mexico. As a NorCal clan, the only "South Bay" anyone's aware of is the San Jose area. (Maybe you didn't know it's referred to sometimes as "south Bay"?) If you live in CA, you must know that lots of NorCal people aren't familiar with SoCal much, and some avoid it. But, whatever. YMMV, obviously.
I'm a Los Angeles native and seain dublin is correct in the description of "South Bay" for this area. The rents in this part of CA are astronomical.
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