I was disowned by family when I was 17 due to falling pregnant – 20 years later, they have come calling and it’s all abo

[ipaper]

Originally Posted by lochness angel

I have already started shopping for therapists since my mother got in touch. I'll be honest - I'm not at a place where I can forgive right now. But perhaps I will be when I find a suitable therapist.

Good for you op, at least you haven't completely said no to the idea, or you wouldn't be here asking the question. Just take your time and whatever you decide to do, let it be your choice. In the end you know what is best for you, and I wish you the best in your situation.

[Melodica]

I haven't read the entire thread so I apologize if I've missed something.

I would want her to know that I got the message. I'd probably respond by telling her to pound sand. Not only is it insulting that she's contacting you after so many years of estrangement by HER choice, but she's lying to you for financial gain. Sickening.

Stories like this make me even more grateful for my parents. I hope you can get the help you need, OP.

[Minervah]

I would not respond. If she is going to worry as to whether or not you received her message, that's her problem not yours. She caused you enough grief, let her stew about this one thing. She may go fishing around your relatives to see if you have contacted them for verification of her story if she doesn't hear from you. In any case, that's her problem.

Responding to her even negatively will bring her attention. I think she will feel it will open a crack in the door and she'll keep pushing even if you tell her to buzz off forever. Don't give her the opportunity to think she can worm her way back back into your life.

[Xelfer]

Originally Posted by lochness angel

I know the cancer is fake. Growing up, when anyone in my family was (even with the smallest sickness) my mom made sure everyone knew. Believe me, if my dad had cancer, the entire extended family would know.

Originally Posted by oregonwoodsmoke

Forgiveness would probably do OP some good, but forgiving does not mean you have to let the offending person back into your life or have any sort of relationship with them.

So... the day before your mother contacted you—how were you doing?

The the answer is "fine," then there you go.