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Old 06-24-2017, 09:47 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
77,995 posts, read 69,929,188 times
Reputation: 75772

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Quote:
Originally Posted by MinivanDriver View Post
Wow.

Weird, given that we generally live our lives with wisdom and without drama. We are prudent with money and are well on the way to a well-funded retirement. We are in positions with lots of responsibility, and people pay us to make important decisions on their behalf. We rotate the tires in our cars and follow the maintenance schedules religiously. Change the filters in the furnace and clean the lint trap in the dryer after every load. Rarely have disagreements, and those are minor. Our children have grown up to be well-rounded and emotionally healthy adults. No running arguments with friends, who are pretty much a fun but level-headed bunch.

Since we live our lives with a great deal of wisdom, stuff such as this never happens. This is a shining exception in our lives, not part of an ongoing saga. Might want to consider that one misstep on one weekend isn't exactly a sign of overall poor judgment on our part. So my wife thought that this woman was still the person she once knew. Not exactly a cardinal sin in my eyes.

And quite frankly, planning weekends with contingencies as if you're mapping out a commando raid on U-Boat pens says a great deal more about you than it does about us.
The whole story is a cautionary note to looking up old friends on FB or by other means online, which facilitates "rekindling" old friendships. Just because we now have the means to look up people we palled around with in our teens doesn't mean we should do any more than catch up on whatever news the internet may offer from a distance. With rare exception would we "click" with any of those old friends, and be able to pick up where we left off with them, and at least enjoy a pleasant visit for old times' sake. What does your wife have to say about the misadventure?
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Old 06-24-2017, 09:55 AM
 
5,369 posts, read 2,241,923 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
The whole story is a cautionary note to looking up old friends on FB or by other means online, which facilitates "rekindling" old friendships. Just because we now have the means to look up people we palled around with in our teens doesn't mean we should do any more than catch up on whatever news the internet may offer from a distance. With rare exception would we "click" with any of those old friends, and be able to pick up where we left off with them, and at least enjoy a pleasant visit for old times' sake. What does your wife have to say about the misadventure?
"Never again." She learns from her mistakes.
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Old 06-24-2017, 10:11 AM
 
4,054 posts, read 3,072,069 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MinivanDriver View Post
And quite frankly, planning weekends with contingencies as if you're mapping out a commando raid on U-Boat pens says a great deal more about you than it does about us.
All it says about me is that I am careful when dealing with people I do not know well. Uncertainty is a risk, plain and simple.
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Old 06-24-2017, 10:19 AM
 
Location: Finally the house is done and we are in Port St. Lucie!
3,488 posts, read 2,049,148 times
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Life without risk seems kinda boring. Yes, we can minimize some risks to make them safer.

Still, I like a little spontaneity
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Old 06-24-2017, 10:37 AM
 
5,369 posts, read 2,241,923 times
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Originally Posted by AtkinsonDan View Post
All it says about me is that I am careful when dealing with people I do not know well. Uncertainty is a risk, plain and simple.
Cliff diving is a risk. Motorsports is a risk. Exposing yourself to x-rays on a daily basis is a risk. Taking up an invitation from a former friend to spend the night is not a risk in any real sense of the word, unless they have a panel van parked out back that has the words "Free Candy" spray-painted across the side.
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Old 06-24-2017, 10:51 AM
 
7,079 posts, read 8,574,847 times
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What no one is recognizing (or admitting) is part of the lure for staying with others is not spending $$ for a hotel room. No one has brought that up, but I'd be surprised if that wasn't a factor here and in lots of situations.

I've gone on trips in the past (very distant past) specifically to visit friends who I was still in touch with all along, only to get to their home and then have things be different and weird. Granted I was in my 20's both times, but each visit was disappointing, with one being an outright miserable mistake.

The last time I stayed with someone I wished I hadn't, it was several years ago, a cousin I've known all my life. I met her husband for the first time on that visit, and I felt creeped-out by him. I tried to avoid contact with him while remaining polite and civil to him. It would have been too awkward to go stay in a hotel at that point so I toughed it out. But never again!
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Old 06-24-2017, 10:51 AM
 
4,054 posts, read 3,072,069 times
Reputation: 5575
Quote:
Originally Posted by MinivanDriver View Post
Cliff diving is a risk. Motorsports is a risk. Exposing yourself to x-rays on a daily basis is a risk. Taking up an invitation from a former friend to spend the night is not a risk in any real sense of the word, unless they have a panel van parked out back that has the words "Free Candy" spray-painted across the side.
So now your claiming your weekend wasn't ruined and you didn't take a (small) financial hit on your baseball tickets? You and your wife took a risk in trusting an old friend. Old friends by definition are people who are no longer known well.

You and your wife got together with another couple with whom you had no basis of trust and then followed them around like a puppy.
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Old 06-24-2017, 11:11 AM
 
5,369 posts, read 2,241,923 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lottamoxie View Post
What no one is recognizing (or admitting) is part of the lure for staying with others is not spending $$ for a hotel room. No one has brought that up, but I'd be surprised if that wasn't a factor here and in lots of situations.
Not us. We like a nice hotel.
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Old 06-24-2017, 11:24 AM
 
12,404 posts, read 7,454,846 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lottamoxie View Post
What no one is recognizing (or admitting) is part of the lure for staying with others is not spending $$ for a hotel room. No one has brought that up, but I'd be surprised if that wasn't a factor here and in lots of situations
I was thinking that too. 3 days before their weekend getaway, the OP still had not booked a hotel room. By that time, staying with "friends" probably sounded like a better option than trying to find a decent last minute hotel room.
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Old 06-24-2017, 11:32 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
77,995 posts, read 69,929,188 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MinivanDriver View Post
Not us. We like a nice hotel.
I hope you two make up for this by taking a really nice 3-day weekend somewhere.
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