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Old 06-20-2017, 10:19 AM
 
5,450 posts, read 2,292,432 times
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Your son is 21, not 11. If he cannot stand on his own two feet, then I don't know what to tell you.
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Old 06-20-2017, 10:20 AM
 
Location: Fort Lauderdale, Florida
9,147 posts, read 8,281,799 times
Reputation: 19764
I think it is time for you to cut that umbilical cord. He'll be fine, it is time for you and your hubs to focus on each other.
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Old 06-20-2017, 10:38 AM
 
1,195 posts, read 799,367 times
Reputation: 4293
Op, we dropped our son off to go to school in another state. He did fine, our daughter moved to another country and she did fine. Your son is almost out of college, interning in his field and most likely will get hired he will be fine too. You don't need to wait a few years to see if he is ok. He is a man.
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Old 06-20-2017, 12:55 PM
 
Location: Somewhere in America
12,304 posts, read 10,756,220 times
Reputation: 20540
Where does your son live? If he lives at home, then you can't just move and sell the house without a plan in place for him. If he lives on his own, that's entirely different. If he lives in a dorm and comes home for vacations, breaks and in between semesters, that's also something different than him having his own place to live.
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Old 06-20-2017, 01:08 PM
 
10,604 posts, read 14,190,943 times
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YES jumping the gun.

Jeeze talk about not giving the kid a chance to get on his feet and even save a dime to live independently.

Just because he's itchy to quit work EARLY RETIREMENT with a big social security penalty doesn't justify him getting itchy to make plans that may or may not work out a year ahead of when HIS SON graduates.

Did YOU get a vote on that? Doesn't sound like you did.

What's the major problem at least waiting a LITTLE WHILE. (not years).

That being said, that's exactly what happened to my son with the job. He interned for two years at his dream company during the entire year at his college location and they offered him full time job when he graduated. AND yes all HIS friends moved back home, too!

He had to wait to move back home until his work situation changed and then he did. (Telecommuting)

They're all there and still friends at age 35 LOL.

I will also say, usually it's the first kids not the current wife's kid who gets the shaft but no doubt SOME KID always gets the shaft with men married several times!

It's HILARIOUS all these people saying "he's grown" "stand on his own two feet" when Obamacare covers "children" up to the age of freaking 26 (and they probably voted for that...)AND everybody knows about the problem with millennials still living with parents.

I could NEVER tell my kid "See ya - I'm moving South".

Your husband? In a heartbeat. And he can't force you to or he'll lose that little equity he thinks he's gonna use "down South".

See ya. Get OUT.
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Old 06-20-2017, 01:10 PM
 
1,640 posts, read 3,293,312 times
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I think it's fine. We moved from Seattle to Charlotte NC and left a 19 year old behind, she is a college student. Think of all the young adults who move away from their parents for college, jobs, the military, etc. I think you should go, your child will make his own path. Good luck!
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Old 06-20-2017, 01:29 PM
 
10,604 posts, read 14,190,943 times
Reputation: 17199
Quote:
Originally Posted by shaylahc View Post
I think it's fine. We moved from Seattle to Charlotte NC and left a 19 year old behind, she is a college student. Think of all the young adults who move away from their parents for college, jobs, the military, etc. I think you should go, your child will make his own path. Good luck!
That's not really the same.

Your family lived in NC for her entire life except the past couple years in Seattle, right?

There's no reason to rip her out of college just because your family decided to move back to her HOME STATE.
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Old 06-20-2017, 02:10 PM
 
4,791 posts, read 11,967,913 times
Reputation: 3453
Quote:
Originally Posted by dogrunner View Post
DH and I bought a lot in a southern state a few years ago. The intent was to "some day" build a house on it. DH decided to take early retirement. He is 63. This is the scenario: DH's son (31) and DIL live in that same southern city/state with their young child, and they are about to have another child. DH's sister and BIL also live in the same city/state. DH and I have one bio son together. He is 21 and going into his senior year of college. We have talked to DS about possibly moving down south with us after college. He says no, that he likes New England too much. He also has close friends from high school who will probably return to the area after college, but who knows. DS has been interning for the past two summers at a company around here, and there's a good possibility they may offer him a job after college. But, who knows? DH and I are at odds right now. It would be different if DS had graduated college, had a job, had his own place or even had an apartment and lived with someone. But that is not the case.....at least, not now. I think DH is jumping the gun. I want to stay here in our own house for a few more years.....at least until I know DS is somewhat "settled." I should say that DS is very close to us and we have a good relationship. It would feel to me as if I were abandoning him.
It would not be as if we were a couple of hours away if anything went wrong. Being 22 and just graduating from college is not being 25 with a steady job and more friends.

Has anyone been in this situation? Recommendations? Suggestions?
Lots of college students pack up at 18, go to college out of state and never come back.
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Old 06-20-2017, 02:20 PM
 
17,000 posts, read 20,665,159 times
Reputation: 33987
Quote:
Originally Posted by ss20ts;48569124[B
]Where does your son live? If he lives at home, then you can't just move and sell the house without a plan in place for him. If he lives on his own, that's entirely different.[/b] If he lives in a dorm and comes home for vacations, breaks and in between semesters, that's also something different than him having his own place to live.
^^^^this. The OP neglected to mention what the living arrangements currently are. Surprised no one asked this before you did.

If he is living at home and going to college, than yes it is unfair to pull the rug out from under him his last year in school. If he has been living in a dorm or in his own apartment the whole time that's a different story.
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Old 06-20-2017, 02:22 PM
 
17,000 posts, read 20,665,159 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TimtheGuy View Post
Lots of college students pack up at 18, go to college out of state and never come back.
And lots of college students find themselves back at home because they have montly student loan payments that are more than rent on a one bedroom apt. in their area.
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