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Old 06-21-2017, 10:31 AM
 
3,195 posts, read 1,806,424 times
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If this is the traditional "friends with benefits" type friend then suck it up and enjoy those benefits.

If it is the traditional "platonic friends with ex that you never had children with" type friend then why bother unless you enjoy the abuse?
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Old 06-21-2017, 11:34 AM
 
Location: Coastal Georgia
36,999 posts, read 45,476,182 times
Reputation: 61523
I can see why she's your ex girlfriend. You don't need to go through life being corrected about small stuff.

Once in awhile, I'll need to point out that my dh (he is ADD-ish too) said something a bit loud, or that he is staring, but most of the time he's good.

Note to the girlfriend, not that she'll see this..... if you set yourself up to monitor and correct a man to form him to what you think is right, it will make you REALLY tired.
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Old 06-21-2017, 11:42 AM
 
Location: Salinas, CA
15,018 posts, read 4,783,412 times
Reputation: 8066
She definitely over-reacted to a perfectly appropriate comment that has probably been said by many others, too.
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Old 06-21-2017, 11:50 AM
 
3,154 posts, read 3,051,773 times
Reputation: 8686
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tex?Il? View Post
Hi everyone,

So here's the context and background. Last night I went to a well known comedy club in LA with a close friend. Actually my ex-girlfriend to be exact, who I'm still very good friends. That part is just fine. We actually get along better as friends than as a couple, at least partially due to our different personalities.

However, she's much more type A than me. Although she can be very sweet, she admits to being critical of herself and others. She's in finance as a career, and is very organized, etc. She has strengths, where I have weaknesses, so its good to have someone close that challenges you. I do welcome that to an extent, but I usually only can handle small doses!

I have expectations of myself, and am always capable of self improvement, but I guess you might say I can at times have minor quirks that can come across as having minor adult ADD/ADHD. Never been diagnosed, but I just don't think it is.

I just am capable of knowing what are high priorities and what are not high priorities. I prioritize details, organization, etiquette, etc. when I know there are actual CONSEQUENCES to not paying attention to these things. I always keep my appointments, schedule, commitments, etc. because there are actual consequences to not following through. If details and organization are proven to be inconsequential, and are not impacting others' faith in your professionalism, reliability, etc. then I will likely forego those things, in favor of things like reading random things, surfing things online that attract my attention, letting my mind wander and planning my schedule for the next few months with a diverse range of activities.

I will admit that I have a bit of a history of committing some social faux pas', although I've made considerable progress as I can be self aware. Its just that if there is not something that is objectively considered a social faux pas by everyone, and if people still have a good job and social life, then I am inevitably going to assume its not important. Not so with my ex.

So, last night as we were leaving this well known comedy club in LA, with framed photos of celebrities that performed there, I casually commented that "I would like to come back here and see one of these big names perform". Considering the stand-up show was a very small audience, a comedy lab if you will, there was a small, minor chance that its possible that one of the performers might have overheard me, I suppose it wasn't the absolute best thing to say, but she gave me the hardest time about it, she brought up other social faux pas' I have said or done over the course of the past couple years.

Question is: What do you even think of what I said? Is it a big deal? Was this inappropriate? Is my Ex right to give me a hard time? I appreciate any and all feedback.

Thanks.
I don't see any faux pas. If she wasn't already an ex, I'd say dump her.
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Old 06-21-2017, 01:44 PM
 
13,408 posts, read 6,643,441 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chessgeek View Post
She definitely over-reacted to a perfectly appropriate comment that has probably been said by many others, too.
Yeah, I would say the same thing probably!
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Old 06-21-2017, 02:19 PM
 
Location: LA, CA/ In This Time and Place
5,433 posts, read 3,494,383 times
Reputation: 5063
She overreacted to you, you were fine.
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Old 06-21-2017, 02:47 PM
 
20,378 posts, read 16,529,741 times
Reputation: 38248
Quote:
Originally Posted by rrah View Post
Leaving an entertainment venue and saying on the way out that you would like to come back is NOT a faux pas.
My impression is he said he wanted to come back and see a better, bigger name entertainer, within earshot of one of the comedians who had just performed. Again, out of context this may appear to be one thing, but I bet if you talk to ex this is not a new thing. She apparently believed it was intentional and said in a way to imply that guy wasn't good or be mean to him in some way for some reason. I don't know their history but she has a history with him and we do not. Again my ex used to do things like that, but would always word it to leave out a lot of context when asking others their opinion. I wonder what the actual words were, and how it was said.
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Old 06-21-2017, 02:53 PM
 
Location: Fort Lauderdale, Florida
9,102 posts, read 8,244,276 times
Reputation: 19666
I'm sure a 100 people a night are leaving and say, "I'd love to come back here and see Jerry Seifield".
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Old 06-21-2017, 03:04 PM
 
16,992 posts, read 20,625,960 times
Reputation: 33961
Quote:
Originally Posted by gentlearts View Post
I can see why she's your ex girlfriend. You don't need to go through life being corrected about small stuff.

Once in awhile, I'll need to point out that my dh (he is ADD-ish too) said something a bit loud, or that he is staring, but most of the time he's good.

Note to the girlfriend, not that she'll see this..... if you set yourself up to monitor and correct a man to form him to what you think is right, it will make you REALLY tired.
But he is still being corrected, now just without the sex.

Time to say goodbye. If this is how she acts over something so trivial, I would hate to see what she might do if the OP showed interest in a woman when they were out and about.
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Old 06-21-2017, 05:34 PM
 
564 posts, read 294,597 times
Reputation: 1155
What everybody said. She'd have been my ex, too. I'd like to take her out to a nice restaurant, blow on my soup, and watch her stroke out! lmao
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