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Old 06-23-2017, 02:01 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by seain dublin View Post

Whether it's an illness, a job layoff, financial issues, death in the family, etc. You don't have to tell everyone, some won't care, and some will say something stupid, and some will secretly delight in your misfortune. There is power in keeping things to yourself and just telling people who really care about you.
And hoping those people don't repeat what you have told them.
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Old 06-23-2017, 02:12 PM
 
2,307 posts, read 1,174,106 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hopefulone View Post
And hoping those people don't repeat what you have told them.
Yes-- I can't go into details about the relationship with this person as I am trying not to use anything identifying about her, but suffice it to say she was in a position where she found out much of the information without my telling her. As sometimes happens.
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Old 06-23-2017, 02:51 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles
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Positive thinking can help in my opinion but it does have obvious limits as it can't cure disease lol
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Old 06-23-2017, 03:12 PM
Status: "Don't believe everything you think." (set 2 hours ago)
 
Location: Northern Minnesota
30,065 posts, read 2,528,162 times
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This thread reminds me of one of my favorite quotes, although I can't find who said it first:

"Prayer: How to do nothing and still think you're helping."



To take that thought a bit further, I saw this on some website by an anonymous commenter:

“I don’t like when people say, ‘I’ll pray for you.’… You’re going to pray for me? So basically, you’re gonna sit at home and do nothing? ‘Cause that’s what your prayers are; you doing nothing while I struggle with a situation. So don’t pray for me — make me a sandwich or something."


Oh, and insert sense of humor here... >>>>>> [____________]
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Old 06-23-2017, 03:39 PM
 
16,990 posts, read 20,588,424 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by emotiioo View Post
Yes-- I can't go into details about the relationship with this person as I am trying not to use anything identifying about her, but suffice it to say she was in a position where she found out much of the information without my telling her. As sometimes happens.
LOL....can't go into details? Unless you say her name and location that's a ridiculous comment.


You can't say she is a coworker or a neighbor? That makes no sense.

If she found out information about you than she got it from someone else you told.

Again, be careful with what you share and with whom.
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Old 06-23-2017, 03:41 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hopefulone View Post
And hoping those people don't repeat what you have told them.
Very true.
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Old 06-23-2017, 03:43 PM
 
2,307 posts, read 1,174,106 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by geebabe View Post
This thread reminds me of one of my favorite quotes, although I can't find who said it first:

"Prayer: How to do nothing and still think you're helping."



To take that thought a bit further, I saw this on some website by an anonymous commenter:

“I don’t like when people say, ‘I’ll pray for you.’… You’re going to pray for me? So basically, you’re gonna sit at home and do nothing? ‘Cause that’s what your prayers are; you doing nothing while I struggle with a situation. So don’t pray for me — make me a sandwich or something."


Oh, and insert sense of humor here... >>>>>> [____________]
I think some people really put a lot of positive energy and love into prayer. So in that sense, I think of it as shorthand for "I really care about you and will keep you in my heart." I never have told anyone I would pray for them, but I will say "you are on my mind. I am sending good thoughts your way. What else can I do to help?"

Sometimes, there isn't much you can do except listen or commiserate. But other times there are very pragmatic things that will mean a lot to someone-- like a place to stay for a bit, some clothes, a recommendation to a service that can help, etc.

People believe in prayer. It doesn't bother me, usually. But sometimes it does get weird.
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Old 06-23-2017, 03:45 PM
 
2,307 posts, read 1,174,106 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by seain dublin View Post
LOL....can't go into details? Unless you say her name and location that's a ridiculous comment.


You can't say she is a coworker or a neighbor? That makes no sense.

If she found out information about you than she got it from someone else you told.

Again, be careful with what you share and with whom.
I can't. Or won't. The internet is a wild and wooly place and in this case, a single detail will allow the guilty to be identified should the wrong person stumble upon this. You see, I am being careful about what I share and with whom.
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Old 06-23-2017, 06:36 PM
 
Location: The Greater Houston Metro Area
8,985 posts, read 14,623,457 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Book Lover 21 View Post
I should share with you what it means when you saying "I'm praying for you" to non-believers.

We know your heart is in the right place, but it means you are doing nothing that has any tangible value. I had a co-worker whose house burned down while she was pregnant with twins. MANY people said, "I'll pray for her." and that was it. Many of us bought clothes, diapers, pooled money for a Home Depot gift card, etc.

Some of us were annoyed that the people praying felt that what they did was just as valuable as the tangible gifts. Maybe in their eyes it was. But to a non-believer, you are doing nothing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie View Post
A-freaking-men!

I'm a liberal atheist Yankee now living in the south. And I work for a charity where the vast majority are Christian. I've had people tell me I am far kinder than many of my co-workers. I believe in the equal value of all humans. So while some may offer their prayers, I'll slip extra clothing in the bag of a homeless client.

I do appreciate the sincerity of the truly devout, but it can't be the end of their efforts.
Quote:
Originally Posted by geebabe View Post
This thread reminds me of one of my favorite quotes, although I can't find who said it first:

"Prayer: How to do nothing and still think you're helping."

To take that thought a bit further, I saw this on some website by an anonymous commenter:

“I don’t like when people say, ‘I’ll pray for you.’… You’re going to pray for me? So basically, you’re gonna sit at home and do nothing? ‘Cause that’s what your prayers are; you doing nothing while I struggle with a situation. So don’t pray for me — make me a sandwich or something."

Oh, and insert sense of humor here... >>>>>> [____________]
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Old 06-24-2017, 01:25 AM
 
Location: Boston
3,732 posts, read 1,452,736 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by emotiioo View Post
I appreciate it when people say they will pray for me. I do. I am not of any strong religious affiliation, but I think its a nice thing to do for someone when they are in need of support. To me, its just holding them in your heart and sending good intentions their way. Do I think it works? I have no idea. But as I say, I generally do appreciate it when people say this.

HOWEVER there are some people who insist your outcome will be different because they have prayed for you and its maddening. For example, I had a health issue which did not turn out well. It was something that was very binary and could not be corrected-- I basically had to have surgery or there would be negative consequences in terms of infection and other complications.

I had a woman I know who insists that her prayers were going to heal this and turn it around. I said thanks for the kind thoughts. Prognosis turned out not good. I let her know. She still insisted that her prayers would heal me without the invasive surgery that I had scheduled. Up to the day I was headed in for that surgery she kept saying "the doctors will not even need to do it. I know my prayers will heal you."

Needless to say they didn't. The insistence that they will or did is now a moot point. But she still persists in saying that her prayers healed me. Surgery healed me. I just try to avoid the subject now.

Do you know any pushy pray-ers? How do you kindly re-direct them?
Its spiritual Pride.
They believe they can wield God. Surgery can't fix that problem.
Tell them you'll pray for them too.

The doctor dresses the wound, God does the healing.
The doctor has to make the first move.
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