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Old 06-24-2017, 09:38 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
17,056 posts, read 17,376,569 times
Reputation: 41509

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Quote:
Originally Posted by emotiioo View Post
Yes-- I can't go into details about the relationship with this person as I am trying not to use anything identifying about her, but suffice it to say she was in a position where she found out much of the information without my telling her. As sometimes happens.
Quote:
Originally Posted by emotiioo View Post
I can't. Or won't. The internet is a wild and wooly place and in this case, a single detail will allow the guilty to be identified should the wrong person stumble upon this. You see, I am being careful about what I share and with whom.
There could be any number of reasons why the poster is not sharing a lot of details. I have known of situations where the person at work that deals with insurance issues has "let it slip" to others about a serious and/or private health issue of a co-worker. Or has talked to the person in question about their illness against protocol.

I know another situation where the daughter of a good friend works in a doctor's office and the daughter is not always as "quiet" as she should be about confidential information.

Or the person can be a neighbor or an acquaintance who works for an insurance company, or the parent of close friend, or any number of things.

It really does not matter who the person is as the OP was just asking about her behavior.
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Old 06-24-2017, 09:48 AM
 
Location: Arlington, VA and Washington, DC
23,650 posts, read 33,451,681 times
Reputation: 32369
Quote:
Originally Posted by emotiioo View Post
I appreciate it when people say they will pray for me. I do. I am not of any strong religious affiliation, but I think its a nice thing to do for someone when they are in need of support. To me, its just holding them in your heart and sending good intentions their way. Do I think it works? I have no idea. But as I say, I generally do appreciate it when people say this.

HOWEVER there are some people who insist your outcome will be different because they have prayed for you and its maddening. For example, I had a health issue which did not turn out well. It was something that was very binary and could not be corrected-- I basically had to have surgery or there would be negative consequences in terms of infection and other complications.

I had a woman I know who insists that her prayers were going to heal this and turn it around. I said thanks for the kind thoughts. Prognosis turned out not good. I let her know. She still insisted that her prayers would heal me without the invasive surgery that I had scheduled. Up to the day I was headed in for that surgery she kept saying "the doctors will not even need to do it. I know my prayers will heal you."

Needless to say they didn't. The insistence that they will or did is now a moot point. But she still persists in saying that her prayers healed me. Surgery healed me. I just try to avoid the subject now.

Do you know any pushy pray-ers? How do you kindly re-direct them?
I would not "kindly" redirect anyone who insisted like that as an atheist. I'd say flat out, go ahead and pray but I don't think anyone is listening. It is one thing when I was looking for a job last year and my mother says I'm praying for you. Another when someone says I'm praying for you like the recruiter is going to come to my door with an outrageous job offer with no leg work on my part. Those kinds I don't take serious.
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Old 06-24-2017, 09:58 AM
 
Location: Chicago area
14,412 posts, read 7,932,198 times
Reputation: 53544
Heck, why try and burst their bubble. You can't anyway. Fanatics look through emotional eyes and see only what they want to see. That's fine if it works for them. Next time just smile and say yes indeed and change the subject. I have to do that all the time with my 80 year old friend who is a die hard Trump supporter. He's totally clueless about what's going on in the investigations. I just smiled at him and changed the subject the other night. He's very precious to me and I know our time is limited. Why waste it arguing about an ideology we will never agree on? He's so much more then just a thought. He's my friend and I want to keep it that way. Who else will be outside talking to me at 3am? We're both weirdo night owls. In that way birds of a feather stick together. Just change the subject to common ground.
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Old 06-24-2017, 12:59 PM
 
105 posts, read 36,259 times
Reputation: 56
Quote:
Originally Posted by emotiioo View Post
I appreciate it when people say they will pray for me. I do. I am not of any strong religious affiliation, but I think its a nice thing to do for someone when they are in need of support. To me, its just holding them in your heart and sending good intentions their way. Do I think it works? I have no idea. But as I say, I generally do appreciate it when people say this.

HOWEVER there are some people who insist your outcome will be different because they have prayed for you and its maddening. For example, I had a health issue which did not turn out well. It was something that was very binary and could not be corrected-- I basically had to have surgery or there would be negative consequences in terms of infection and other complications.

I had a woman I know who insists that her prayers were going to heal this and turn it around. I said thanks for the kind thoughts. Prognosis turned out not good. I let her know. She still insisted that her prayers would heal me without the invasive surgery that I had scheduled. Up to the day I was headed in for that surgery she kept saying "the doctors will not even need to do it. I know my prayers will heal you."

Needless to say they didn't. The insistence that they will or did is now a moot point. But she still persists in saying that her prayers healed me. Surgery healed me. I just try to avoid the subject now.

Do you know any pushy pray-ers? How do you kindly re-direct them?
I'm not sure how talking to one's self about another person helps that second person. After all, what is praying but talking to one's self. If you you think that there is a sentient, invisible entity that is interacting with you and changing an outcome your incorrect. You might as well as the good fairy to help you.
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Old 06-24-2017, 01:29 PM
 
3,611 posts, read 3,171,567 times
Reputation: 10840
I just say thanks and move on. No need to discuss a conversation with them you don't to have.

The prayers sometimes get on my nerves. Praying is a 'nice' way to spread gossip for some. We had someone go 'pray' for us at church one time. Aside from the fact that she exaggerated the circumstances, it was none of her business to spread the information.
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Old 06-24-2017, 01:40 PM
 
Location: Canada
5,756 posts, read 4,177,186 times
Reputation: 15486
I'd like to think that if someone told me they were praying for me, that they were thinking about me and hoping all goes well.

I pray when I give thanks or need something, but don't rely on it absolutely working. Sh*t happens and prayers don't always work.
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Old 06-24-2017, 03:08 PM
 
11,682 posts, read 14,437,337 times
Reputation: 19126
Quote:
Originally Posted by MyNameIsBellaMia View Post
I don't really care one way or the other. It certainly can't hurt. In the spirit of graciousness, I say, "Thank you. I'll take all the prayers I can get."
I don't get people being upset about this either. The pushiness of the OP situation is one thing, but a simple prayer is another.


There was a similar thread about strangers doing something nice for others where several people got their panties in a wad because it apparently wasn't the right kind of niceness.

I'll say it again: kindness is kindness. Be grateful.
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Old 06-24-2017, 03:09 PM
 
17,002 posts, read 20,690,362 times
Reputation: 33994
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
There could be any number of reasons why the poster is not sharing a lot of details. I have known of situations where the person at work that deals with insurance issues has "let it slip" to others about a serious and/or private health issue of a co-worker. Or has talked to the person in question about their illness against protocol.

I know another situation where the daughter of a good friend works in a doctor's office and the daughter is not always as "quiet" as she should be about confidential information.

Or the person can be a neighbor or an acquaintance who works for an insurance company, or the parent of close friend, or any number of things.

It really does not matter who the person is as the OP was just asking about her behavior.
You sure make it sound very casual, I don't know how it is in Wisconsin, but here in CA and other states people who let things slip would be looking at termination and maybe a lawsuit.

You are aware of HIPPA laws?

The OP has the right not to say what the connection is.

My point was don't go around telling eyeryone all your business.

Some things you keep to those close to you such as family.

Sorry, your scenarios are a bit much. That must be some doctor's office....LOL. I have never heard of someone getting away with that. It doesn't even make sense, your daughter's friend could put her boss in big time trouble. A doctor isn't going to risk all they worked for because someone has loose lips for too long.

And yes it does matter. You learn as you go through life there are people you just don't tell certain things to.
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Old 06-24-2017, 03:19 PM
 
9,277 posts, read 9,237,070 times
Reputation: 11742
It may interest you to know that a study was done which showed, bizarrely, that outcomes were WORSE when people prayed for them.

For me, I just say, "Thanks, but I'm not religious."
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Old 06-24-2017, 06:58 PM
 
6,216 posts, read 2,874,385 times
Reputation: 15738
I thought this was going in the directions of a Patronizing style Prayer...Dismissive of the persons' reality.

My co worker would get exasperated and often would say to someone..."I shall pray for you"....as if to say "in hopes you will see things MY way you little twit!" It was his tone that said it all...without really saying it.

I can sense when a sincere gesture is heart meant...vs heartless.
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