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This thread reminds me of one of my favorite quotes, although I can't find who said it first:
"Prayer: How to do nothing and still think you're helping."
To take that thought a bit further, I saw this on some website by an anonymous commenter:
“I don’t like when people say, ‘I’ll pray for you.’… You’re going to pray for me? So basically, you’re gonna sit at home and do nothing? ‘Cause that’s what your prayers are; you doing nothing while I struggle with a situation. So don’t pray for me — make me a sandwich or something."
Oh, and insert sense of humor here... >>>>>> [____________]
I pray you make your own sandwich,
I'll take an alligator sandwich myself.
And make it snappy.
I appreciate it when people say they will pray for me. I do. I am not of any strong religious affiliation, but I think its a nice thing to do for someone when they are in need of support. To me, its just holding them in your heart and sending good intentions their way. Do I think it works? I have no idea. But as I say, I generally do appreciate it when people say this.
HOWEVER there are some people who insist your outcome will be different because they have prayed for you and its maddening. For example, I had a health issue which did not turn out well. It was something that was very binary and could not be corrected-- I basically had to have surgery or there would be negative consequences in terms of infection and other complications.
I had a woman I know who insists that her prayers were going to heal this and turn it around. I said thanks for the kind thoughts. Prognosis turned out not good. I let her know. She still insisted that her prayers would heal me without the invasive surgery that I had scheduled. Up to the day I was headed in for that surgery she kept saying "the doctors will not even need to do it. I know my prayers will heal you."
Needless to say they didn't. The insistence that they will or did is now a moot point. But she still persists in saying that her prayers healed me. Surgery healed me. I just try to avoid the subject now.
Do you know any pushy pray-ers? How do you kindly re-direct them?
I honestly have never had this happen nor heard of it happening. Maybe your circle of influence encompasses many mentally ill people?
I should share with you what it means when you saying "I'm praying for you" to non-believers.
We know your heart is in the right place, but it means you are doing nothing that has any tangible value. I had a co-worker whose house burned down while she was pregnant with twins. MANY people said, "I'll pray for her." and that was it. Many of us bought clothes, diapers, pooled money for a Home Depot gift card, etc.
Some of us were annoyed that the people praying felt that what they did was just as valuable as the tangible gifts. Maybe in their eyes it was. But to a non-believer, you are doing nothing.
Well I think you both are likely non- believers. Maybe you're just honest about it. It also may be they just don't have the resources to help out also.
This is how believers are expected to handle situations akin to this.
If one of you says to them, "Go in peace; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it?James 2:16
I was raised in an extremely religious environment and my relatives still always say they are praying for me. I don't really care one way or the other. It certainly can't hurt. In the spirit of graciousness, I say, "Thank you. I'll take all the prayers I can get."
There was a study done 10 or 15 years ago; people who were prayed for had about the same survival rate as people who weren't prayed for. But the prayed-for folks were more likely to have complications.
I've had enough complications; I no longer tell the pray-ers about my health.
I should share with you what it means when you saying "I'm praying for you" to non-believers.
We know your heart is in the right place, but it means you are doing nothing that has any tangible value. I had a co-worker whose house burned down while she was pregnant with twins. MANY people said, "I'll pray for her." and that was it. Many of us bought clothes, diapers, pooled money for a Home Depot gift card, etc.
Some of us were annoyed that the people praying felt that what they did was just as valuable as the tangible gifts. Maybe in their eyes it was. But to a non-believer, you are doing nothing.
Even to a believer, it seems like they did nothing.
To me it makes more sense to pray for something's I can't handle on my own. In the case you cite, there was plenty that people could do. What you and your friends did was to be a good neighbor, which is about as Christian as it gets.
If you ask me to pray for you, you better be ready to pray cuz I'm going to do it right there where we are!
Sometimes I'll say "Could I pray for you right now?" or I'll ask "Do you want to pray about it?"
If I've got the urge, it's coming to me from somewhere. Normally there's strife (health, employment, personal) and the person is ready for ANY relief from worry. Sometimes it's just a matter of bringing a moment of peace.
Anyway, if someone says that to you here's a suggestion: What church do you go to? Maybe there's a prayer list you can add me to. (because there are some fierce prayer warriors at some churches - can't hurt)
I appreciate it when people say they will pray for me. I do. I am not of any strong religious affiliation, but I think its a nice thing to do for someone when they are in need of support. To me, its just holding them in your heart and sending good intentions their way. Do I think it works? I have no idea. But as I say, I generally do appreciate it when people say this.
HOWEVER there are some people who insist your outcome will be different because they have prayed for you and its maddening. For example, I had a health issue which did not turn out well. It was something that was very binary and could not be corrected-- I basically had to have surgery or there would be negative consequences in terms of infection and other complications.
I had a woman I know who insists that her prayers were going to heal this and turn it around. I said thanks for the kind thoughts. Prognosis turned out not good. I let her know. She still insisted that her prayers would heal me without the invasive surgery that I had scheduled. Up to the day I was headed in for that surgery she kept saying "the doctors will not even need to do it. I know my prayers will heal you."
Needless to say they didn't. The insistence that they will or did is now a moot point. But she still persists in saying that her prayers healed me. Surgery healed me. I just try to avoid the subject now.
Do you know any pushy pray-ers? How do you kindly re-direct them?
This is kind of petty of you, sorry to say. I mean, yeah, the doctors did the work. But while everybody wants to indulge here in their personal animus towards faith, they miss the important point: This is a person who, in her way, feels that she is supporting you in a time of need. I mean, outside of bringing a casserole or running an errand, what else is she supposed to do?
So the person is wanting the best possible outcome for you. Maybe she isn't expressing it in such a way as you would. Maybe her beliefs are at odds with reality. But, at its essence, she is in your corner. It would be ungrateful of you to correct her. Just say, "Thanks," and move on.
If you ask me to pray for you, you better be ready to pray cuz I'm going to do it right there where we are!
Sometimes I'll say "Could I pray for you right now?" or I'll ask "Do you want to pray about it?"
If I've got the urge, it's coming to me from somewhere. Normally there's strife (health, employment, personal) and the person is ready for ANY relief from worry. Sometimes it's just a matter of bringing a moment of peace.
Anyway, if someone says that to you here's a suggestion: What church do you go to? Maybe there's a prayer list you can add me to. (because there are some fierce prayer warriors at some churches - can't hurt)
That is kind. You can pray for me. I would love people's prayers. Even in a spiritual context; who does need prayer and well wishes?
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