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Old 06-24-2017, 05:19 PM
 
8,080 posts, read 13,412,762 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hhwtm View Post
Hmm, from a L point of view I would not get involved with a heterosexual woman. Sounds like she doesn't know what she wants.
Quote:
Originally Posted by hhwtm View Post
So you are married? Isn't that a bit of a complication in starting another relationship??
What ???
I thought the OP is a guy that likes his female friend.
Where did you get that he is married or anyone is confused about sexual orientation ??
Maybe I missed something ??
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Old 06-24-2017, 05:50 PM
 
3,195 posts, read 1,800,762 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by homenj View Post
Thanks. She has told me she has sees me as a brother but at the same time she has told me if it is God's will for us to be together it will happen. So I guess it means she is open to it. But still I am not really satisfied with just being her brother and she did say that a while ago. So even though I appreciate our friendship and everything she has done for me (well except for one time she gave me bad advice but that is a different story) I feel like I have nothing to lose if I just come clean with her.
This sounds like you already told her and you have your answer.

And the answer is that GOD sees you as her brother.

You may as well bail, this isn't happening.
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Old 06-24-2017, 06:03 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hhwtm View Post
So you are married? Isn't that a bit of a complication in starting another relationship??
I'm not married. I'm single.
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Old 06-24-2017, 06:21 PM
 
3,092 posts, read 2,180,623 times
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OP, until very recently I was in a similar position, and it was discussed here ad nauseam.

I suggest you get away, and stay away! I cut away from my friend, quit hanging out with her, found other things to do. To this day, she still contacts me - asking what I'm doing, etc. I'm vague in my responses and occupy myself elsewhere.
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Old 06-24-2017, 09:39 PM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
17,099 posts, read 34,524,599 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kelly237 View Post
I think it's kinda romantic if you tell her how you feel, that you care..
Or creepy... if she only sees him like a brother.
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Old 06-24-2017, 10:59 PM
 
8,080 posts, read 13,412,762 times
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She probably knows exactly how he feels, women usually know things like that.
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Old 06-25-2017, 07:44 AM
 
3,195 posts, read 1,800,762 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kelly237 View Post
That happens !!
I have a guy friend that has been clear that he wishes we were more than friends.
I value the friendship and have been consistently clear that I don't want more than friendship,
but he somehow always hears something different.
Of course he hears something different.

He isn't your friend. He probably never wanted to be your friend. Why egg him on by pretending that you can mutually have a friendship when it is obvious that isn't what he wants?

Why would you value a 'friendship' with a guy who wants to get into your pants?
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Old 06-25-2017, 07:53 AM
 
Location: Saint John, IN
11,036 posts, read 3,934,497 times
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I would tell her! Honestly you have nothing to lose and everything to gain!
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Old 06-25-2017, 08:00 AM
 
16,789 posts, read 14,432,337 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by homenj View Post
But is it odd that she would just touch my arm for like five seconds and say "We should go to the Museum of Sex"?
How would we know? After all, she is your "BEST FRIEND" and by definition, you should be able to tell her anything or ask her anything without fear of judgment.

And also by definition, she is your "BEST FRIEND" and therefore you are intimately familiar with how she thinks, what she enjoys and what motivates her. Because as "BEST FRIENDS" you know each other better than you know yourselves.

Right?
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Old 06-25-2017, 08:48 AM
 
2,952 posts, read 1,618,657 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by miu View Post
All my boyfriends and husband, have been my best friend first. It's a very American/Western concept to search for true love based solely on sexual attraction and looks. And that's why so many marriages fail. One shouldn't mistake initial infatuation and passion with true love and being soul mates. Mature long lasting love develops over time, where the couple finds that they have common life goals and interests, similar morals, and they have formed strong bonds through shared activities.
Bravo! Everything you said is right on.

Hubs started as my best friend too. he still is 20 years later. You don't cheat on your best friend, they come first before friends, etc. How many women I have seen on FB hanging out with their friends in their 50's posting pics of themselves and each other. You would not even know they are married. Wine Wed, where every one wears their wedding dress. Half of these are divorced within 2 years. You can get together with your friends but your hubs comes first.

Almost of my friends are in long term marriages. They have married their best friend and keep it that way. One recently celebrated 40 years, they got married when she was 18 and him 28. BFF's forever. Both in excellent health, I would not be surprise if they make 80 years.
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