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Hmm, from a L point of view I would not get involved with a heterosexual woman. Sounds like she doesn't know what she wants.
Quote:
Originally Posted by hhwtm
So you are married? Isn't that a bit of a complication in starting another relationship??
What ???
I thought the OP is a guy that likes his female friend.
Where did you get that he is married or anyone is confused about sexual orientation ??
Maybe I missed something ??
Thanks. She has told me she has sees me as a brother but at the same time she has told me if it is God's will for us to be together it will happen. So I guess it means she is open to it. But still I am not really satisfied with just being her brother and she did say that a while ago. So even though I appreciate our friendship and everything she has done for me (well except for one time she gave me bad advice but that is a different story) I feel like I have nothing to lose if I just come clean with her.
This sounds like you already told her and you have your answer.
And the answer is that GOD sees you as her brother.
OP, until very recently I was in a similar position, and it was discussed here ad nauseam.
I suggest you get away, and stay away! I cut away from my friend, quit hanging out with her, found other things to do. To this day, she still contacts me - asking what I'm doing, etc. I'm vague in my responses and occupy myself elsewhere.
That happens !!
I have a guy friend that has been clear that he wishes we were more than friends.
I value the friendship and have been consistently clear that I don't want more than friendship,
but he somehow always hears something different.
Of course he hears something different.
He isn't your friend. He probably never wanted to be your friend. Why egg him on by pretending that you can mutually have a friendship when it is obvious that isn't what he wants?
Why would you value a 'friendship' with a guy who wants to get into your pants?
But is it odd that she would just touch my arm for like five seconds and say "We should go to the Museum of Sex"?
How would we know? After all, she is your "BEST FRIEND" and by definition, you should be able to tell her anything or ask her anything without fear of judgment.
And also by definition, she is your "BEST FRIEND" and therefore you are intimately familiar with how she thinks, what she enjoys and what motivates her. Because as "BEST FRIENDS" you know each other better than you know yourselves.
All my boyfriends and husband, have been my best friend first. It's a very American/Western concept to search for true love based solely on sexual attraction and looks. And that's why so many marriages fail. One shouldn't mistake initial infatuation and passion with true love and being soul mates. Mature long lasting love develops over time, where the couple finds that they have common life goals and interests, similar morals, and they have formed strong bonds through shared activities.
Bravo! Everything you said is right on.
Hubs started as my best friend too. he still is 20 years later. You don't cheat on your best friend, they come first before friends, etc. How many women I have seen on FB hanging out with their friends in their 50's posting pics of themselves and each other. You would not even know they are married. Wine Wed, where every one wears their wedding dress. Half of these are divorced within 2 years. You can get together with your friends but your hubs comes first.
Almost of my friends are in long term marriages. They have married their best friend and keep it that way. One recently celebrated 40 years, they got married when she was 18 and him 28. BFF's forever. Both in excellent health, I would not be surprise if they make 80 years.
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