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I know I shouldn't tell her I have feelings for her but I do want to distance myself from her. I stopped texting her. But if she starts to notice I am distancing myself I feel I should just be honest. I don't want to lie and say the usual "Oh I have just been too busy." Plus maybe it would be best if I just tell her just to relieve myself, even if I do destroy our friendship. I was thinking of just telling her something like "Well I want to give you some distance because you have a boyfriend and it wouldn't be right for me to hang out with you when I have a crush on you." Thoughts?
I know I shouldn't tell her I have feelings for her but I do want to distance myself from her. I stopped texting her. But if she starts to notice I am distancing myself I feel I should just be honest. I don't want to lie and say the usual "Oh I have just been too busy." Plus maybe it would be best if I just tell her just to relieve myself, even if I do destroy our friendship. I was thinking of just telling her something like "Well I want to give you some distance because you have a boyfriend and it wouldn't be right for me to hang out with you when I have a crush on you." Thoughts?
Tell her the truth. That way she knows what's going on and doesn't think she did something wrong, when you start to put some distance between the two of you.
It seems to me by distancing you're sacrificing the friendship already. Women are very intuitive about such methodology. Don't sell your friend short. It may well be she is already aware or at least has her suspicions about your feelings. I was friends with a lady for 20 years. From the moment I met her I was more than taken with her. Every fiber of my being was screaming at me that she was THE one. In the end it turned out she was.
She knew how I felt without me telling her. I ,being a dumb man didn't know she felt the same way. But we were both involved with other people and our lives took us in different directions for a while. I suppose it comes down to how much the friendship means to you. Being as she is involved with someone being totally straightforward may not be the best course. At least maybe not yet. Personally I wasn't willing to sacrifice the friendship by just laying it on the line before the time was right. When Is the time right? That's up to you. But you will know. That's all I can offer. Hope it helps. I know it's not much.
It seems to me by distancing you're sacrificing the friendship already. Women are very intuitive about such methodology. Don't sell your friend short. It may well be she is already aware or at least has her suspicions about your feelings. I was friends with a lady for 20 years. From the moment I met her I was more than taken with her. Every fiber of my being was screaming at me that she was THE one. In the end it turned out she was.
She knew how I felt without me telling her. I ,being a dumb man didn't know she felt the same way. But we were both involved with other people and our lives took us in different directions for a while. I suppose it comes down to how much the friendship means to you. Being as she is involved with someone being totally straightforward may not be the best course. At least maybe not yet. Personally I wasn't willing to sacrifice the friendship by just laying it on the line before the time was right. When Is the time right? That's up to you. But you will know. That's all I can offer. Hope it helps. I know it's not much.
Thanks. She has told me she has sees me as a brother but at the same time she has told me if it is God's will for us to be together it will happen. So I guess it means she is open to it. But still I am not really satisfied with just being her brother and she did say that a while ago. So even though I appreciate our friendship and everything she has done for me (well except for one time she gave me bad advice but that is a different story) I feel like I have nothing to lose if I just come clean with her.
Tell her the truth. That way she knows what's going on and doesn't think she did something wrong, when you start to put some distance between the two of you.
This and I don't want to come off as jerk because I am avoiding her.
Thanks. She has told me she has sees me as a brother but at the same time she has told me if it is God's will for us to be together it will happen. So I guess it means she is open to it. But still I am not really satisfied with just being her brother and she did say that a while ago. So even though I appreciate our friendship and everything she has done for me (well except for one time she gave me bad advice but that is a different story) I feel like I have nothing to lose if I just come clean with her.
It is God's will.
Both of you should talk to God about this individually.
God will let you know what he wants both of you to do.
But it has to be what God wants. Not what she wants and not what you want.
She may be open to this, but the ball is in God's court.
So wait for God's response.
Just because you tell her how you feel about her does not mean that God has chosen you for her and her for you..
So she told you that she thinks about you as a brother, and she tells you that it is God's will whether or not the 2 of you will be together.
I wouldn't complicate matters by telling her your feelings. Instead, since she is in a relationship, perhaps you should try to make some new friends and look for a girlfriend.
BTW are you waiting and hoping that she becomes available in the near future? IMO if she becomes available at some point, and in the meantime you never date anyone else, I feel that she will still view you as a brother figure. But... if you at least asking other women out, she might feel some pangs of jealousy or at least see you as boyfriend material since other women are having interest in you.
Anyway, distance yourself from her by spending time with new friends and other women. It will make you seem more interesting to her.
I wouldn't complicate matters by telling her your feelings. Instead, since she is in a relationship, perhaps you should try to make some new friends and look for a girlfriend.
BTW are you waiting and hoping that she becomes available in the near future? IMO if she becomes available at some point, and in the meantime you never date anyone else, I feel that she will still view you as a brother figure. But... if you at least asking other women out, she might feel some pangs of jealousy or at least see you as boyfriend material since other women are having interest in you.
Anyway, distance yourself from her by spending time with new friends and other women. It will make you seem more interesting to her.
If she stated it's up to "God's Will", I'd distance myself too. People don't need divine intervention to know if they are into someone.
That said, definitely be honest, no point in hiding your feelings. You'll feel better that you put it out there and she'll know exactly where you stand.
I know I shouldn't tell her I have feelings for her but I do want to distance myself from her. I stopped texting her. But if she starts to notice I am distancing myself I feel I should just be honest. I don't want to lie and say the usual "Oh I have just been too busy." Plus maybe it would be best if I just tell her just to relieve myself, even if I do destroy our friendship. I was thinking of just telling her something like "Well I want to give you some distance because you have a boyfriend and it wouldn't be right for me to hang out with you when I have a crush on you." Thoughts?
That sounds like it will be a very awkward conversation.
If you can't keep your feelings in check, then get busy; then you won't have to lie when you say you are busy, you will have less time to pine for her, and you might meet someone else.
But if you definitely want her out of your life, your way will probably work. It will probably destroy the friendship, you chose an apt word for it. I just think admitting crushes to people who are not single is very gauche and unwise.
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