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Old 07-01-2017, 11:32 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
77,782 posts, read 69,692,642 times
Reputation: 75502

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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Big Lebowski Dude View Post
Disagree completely. This was STALKING, pure and simple. Over the years, I have ended friendships with people for various reasons, and was really irritated when they continued to hassle me.

If someone decides to stop talking to you, take the damn hint and don't continue to bother them!

In this case it's even worse than what happened to me because the OP called the woman's spouse, and her work. WTF?! Again, take the damn hint. The woman and her husband DO NOT WANT TO TALK TO HER!!!!

I hate stalkers.
lol Don't hold back, tell us how you really feel!

She didn't call her work. She stopped short of that. She only called her friend's personal work phone and left a message. Friends do call each other at work, that's perfectly normal, not something to wig out over.

 
Old 07-01-2017, 11:36 AM
 
2,502 posts, read 1,528,907 times
Reputation: 5347
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
She didn't call her work. She stopped short of that. She only called her friend's personal work phone and left a message. Friends do call each other at work, that's perfectly normal, not something to wig out over.
Calling her "friend's" personal work phone is calling her at work. It was not an emergency, so there was not justification for this whatsoever - again, stalking.

Quote:
Originally Posted by chabang View Post
I had a friend once, and this was a very close friend, that used to work with me. After we both stopped working there, we stayed very close, took vacations together, stayed at each other's place short-term when in between jobs, etc. since we lived about an hour apart. Anyway, one day she was supposed to drive up for lunch. She called me when she was about 30 minutes late and said she couldn't find my apartment but was in the neighborhood. I gave her very specific directions again and asked her to call me if she got lost again. I stepped out front to look for her. SHE NEVER SHOWED UP. I was frantic and called the police and local hospitals, left messages with her husband, etc. Nothing. A few hours later, her husband calls and said she suddenly developed a migraine and just drove the hour back home. And she never contacted me again. I never contacted her either because I was completely flabbergasted at her behavior and that she thought that was acceptable.
You're comparing apples & oranges here. I do agree that in your case, the woman should have called & told you that she couldn't make it - given that she was supposed to drive to your house & meet you there, and you were waiting for her - at that time. For her to just disappear like that was the height of rudeness - she should have at least called you & told you she couldn't make it.

However, that's not what happened in the OP's case.
 
Old 07-01-2017, 11:44 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
77,782 posts, read 69,692,642 times
Reputation: 75502
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Big Lebowski Dude View Post
Calling her "friend's" personal work phone is calling her at work. It was not an emergency, so there was not justification for this whatsoever - again, stalking.

I personally don't like my friends/family calling me at work unless it's an emergency, given that we're not supposed to take personal calls at work unless it's extremely important.



You're comparing apples & oranges here. I do agree that in your case, the woman should have called & told you that she couldn't make it - given that she was supposed to drive to your house & meet you there, and you were waiting for her - at that time. For her to just disappear like that was the height of rudeness - she should have at least called you & told you she couldn't make it.

However, that's not what happened in the OP's case.
Actually, it's similar to what happened to the OP, and is a very helpful post, IMO. Though the OP's situation wasn't as in-the-moment as the other situation, the OP still was stood up for a pre-arranged social engagement. Getting no response to a couple of confirmation texts is what triggered her concern. It was rude and out of character for her friend (and not at all helpful or constructive, clearly, as it lead to all this worry and attempts to contact) to not respond to a simple "are we still on for Tues.?" text. How hard can it be to text back, "I can't make it. Some stuff has come up & I'll be out of it for awhile"?

Oh well. Now we're just rehashing past posts.
 
Old 07-01-2017, 12:18 PM
 
3,194 posts, read 1,796,101 times
Reputation: 8427
Quote:
Originally Posted by ItsRick24 View Post
Shoot, for all we know, this woman or her husband (or both) could have been witness to or testified against some Mafia figures or high level drug lords - and entered the Witness Protection program. When that happens, they relocate you, change your name and identity, etc.
Such could be the case.
Heck, for all we know JustJazzy is part of a rookie Mafia hit squad looking for ideas about how to find their 'assignment'.

Hey, on C-D anything is possible .
 
Old 07-01-2017, 12:31 PM
 
9,807 posts, read 3,889,645 times
Reputation: 24720
Quote:
Originally Posted by Robino1 View Post
Let me ask this: when you ended these relationships, did you tell them what you were ending the relationship?
That's a good question, Robino. For those who say she should just ignore her friend basically disappearing, have they ever experienced that before? With no warning at all, the friend just drops out of sight and stands them up for a lunch date?

I'm not talking about someone who made it clear - or maybe even blurry - that they weren't interested in continuing a relationship.

Just someone who seemed to be enjoying the relationship and then vanished.
 
Old 07-01-2017, 12:37 PM
 
5,407 posts, read 2,882,477 times
Reputation: 24235
Quote:
Originally Posted by ClaraC View Post

Just someone who seemed to be enjoying the relationship and then vanished.
"who seemed"-- I used to be quite friendly with one of my co workers. She often had self pity. It was exhausting listening to her. One day she said something that just closed the deal for me. I was over having her as a work friend, I just didn't want to be part of her dark cloud anymore. I just started keeping my distance, I still say hi to her--I just don't engage in conversation. Sometimes people have to look inside themselves and figure out why someone would start cutting them off.
 
Old 07-01-2017, 12:48 PM
 
5,048 posts, read 6,876,604 times
Reputation: 4146
But who, in this day and age, even closed their social media out?

And...how many fb accts...at least 2...did the sister close hers too or just unfriend the OP.

Extreme reaction. One has to wonder why.
 
Old 07-01-2017, 12:55 PM
 
3,194 posts, read 1,796,101 times
Reputation: 8427
Quote:
Originally Posted by cully View Post
But who, in this day and age, even closed their social media out?

And...how many fb accts...at least 2...did the sister close hers too or just unfriend the OP.

Extreme reaction. One has to wonder why.
Or wonder if it ever happened at all...
 
Old 07-01-2017, 01:05 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
77,782 posts, read 69,692,642 times
Reputation: 75502
Quote:
Originally Posted by cully View Post
But who, in this day and age, even closed their social media out?

And...how many fb accts...at least 2...did the sister close hers too or just unfriend the OP.

Extreme reaction. One has to wonder why.
Well, we had at least a couple of posters chime in about why they've taken down or temporarily suspended their social media pages, so it does happen. The sister blocked the OP, she didn't take down her acc't, if I understood correctly.
 
Old 07-01-2017, 01:20 PM
 
777 posts, read 718,853 times
Reputation: 1820
Maybe she or someone in her family is tied to a local or national news story and didn't want reporters contacting them so they disabled their social media accounts.

Wouldn't explain the work thing, but one way you can check is see if her job has an online or phone directory of employees. If she's been removed from the directory, then it means she's no longer there for whatever reason. Not sure what it would prove. Could be she just changed jobs, not that she's necessarily missing. Could bring more questions than answers. Stalkerish, I know, but trying to help the OP out.

I think she probably just ghosted you. I had one friend who ghosted me twice. She stopped contacting me one time, then one day pinged me at work like nothing happened, then a couple of months later I noticed her work email was disabled. Haven't heard from her since and she has my cell number.

In the example above, this person was mid-50s and didn't have her s*** together. When people are going through things, especially things they may be embarrassed by, they tend to shut others out. I think your friend or someone in her family may be going through some things and don't want you or anyone outside the immediate family to know.

Just let it go. Maybe she'll get in touch with an explanation, maybe she won't. You can't do anything about it, just say a prayer for her and move on.
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