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At this point though the kids are 29, 32, and 33 and all have really good jobs and careers.
Actually, I probably couldn't pay them to move home.
My sister in law has six kids combined and just got rid of her last two(she had two, he had three, they had one together but growing up they all lived together) that were 23 and 25. As soon as she got rid of them she and my BIL downsized to a two bedroom home so none of the kids could move home.
Asian Americans have an unending statue of limitations to live at home.
I have a number of friends who have lived at home almost the entire time and are now in their 40s and have had decent jobs. It's not so much a culture, as a mentality the parents imbue you with.
"Living on your own and paying rent is a waste of $."
As far as judging others who do it, I think it reflects on how you view life.
If you see life as a competition, then the people who live on their own at age 28 are winners and the people who live with their parents at age 41 are losers.
I really don't look at it that way. I have a co-worker who not only lives at home, but drives his parent's car still. Meh, whatever. Does it hurt me? No. Does it literally affect or hurt me or another person in any way? No.
As far as judging others who do it, I think it reflects on how you view life.
If you see life as a competition, then the people who live on their own at age 28 are winners and the people who live with their parents at age 41 are losers..
I'm just glad some of these people have a roof over their head, and aren't homeless.
Some of those 41-year olds living at home, have a very big bank account by now!
It's pretty common these days to have people in their 50s and 60s whose careers have stalled out live with their parents as the house is paid off.
You never know where you're gonna be.
True! My elderly father, in his 70s, is getting ready to move in with his dad, who is in his 90s.
So he can have a roof over his head, and also help take care of his father.
If people want to carp and criticize, so be it. This is what many people have to do, to survive.
Although I didn't live at home for long, my parents helped me out some with money when I was on my own. They paid my rent a couple of times when I was jobless. I couldn't believe the number of relatives and nosy people who made this "their business" when it wasn't. Even years later, this was thrown up in my face by my sister. I guess she would rather have seen me living out on the street, with no place to go.
Their family. Their problems or joys. Not my concern. There's always a reason people move back home. This person has done a lot of schooling and is looking for a full time job so I can easily see why the parents let them move back. It's not like this a person who works at a gas station 2 nights a week and plays video games 22 hours a day.
Once? No big deal. I moved in with my mom for about nine months. I was traveling all the time on biz and my apartment was burgled. I said 'Screw it' and moved in until I had the scratch to move into a more secure place. It happens.
But some people can't cut the cord. My BIL had a terrible divorce 19 years ago, moved into my in-laws' basement and hasn't left. He has owned a successful engineering firm, sold it, and now works for someone else making good coin, but still lives in the in-law's basement. He doesn't have a social life. Just works, drives 90 minutes to work, then comes home. My in-laws think it's a great arrangement because he can do all the handyman things to the house, while I think it's an impoverished existence.
I have a 50-year-old brother who lives with my mother. He was in a relationship with a woman who was an alcoholic, and after it came to a bad end, he moved to my mom's house. My father had died a year or two before, and my older brother was living there already, but he was dying and my mother cared for him once he could no longer work until his death.
This brother does painting and landscaping, so he keeps his equipment in the garage, and he takes care of the house and the yard.
And then...the youngest brother asked my mother if he and his girlfriend could rent the upstairs of the house. It's a six bedroom house, and no one was living upstairs. They wanted to rent till they could buy a place, but it didn't work out that way. My youngest brother began to have serious spine problems, and could no longer work. After three years, the girlfriend got tired of the arrangement, and she left and got her own place. He is in pain a lot of the time and is trying to get disability.
It works for everybody. My mother is 88 and she can stay in her home because they are there. The second-to-youngest takes care of everything that needs taking care of around the house, and he has a girlfriend who works in a restaurant and comes over and cooks frequently. The youngest is depressed and and always in pain, but at least he's got family around and a place to live. He is 48 years old.
We just have to hope my mother lives forever.
I lived there for a while myself after my divorce, which left me a broke single mom. It was helpful to have my parents there for my daughter till she was bigger, and eventually I moved out and rented a house in town.
Sometimes it cannot be helped with the economy . Did you know there is not a state in the united states where a single person can afford a 2 bdr apt on their own even with a job ? yeah that is right . I would not turn my child away ever and no there is not a time limit obviously they need a place to live so no I would never turn away my kid .
A poster sent me a rep note saying she assumes that my mother will put the house in the name of my youngest brother or me.
No. There are six living siblings, first of all, so anything my mother has would be divided among us. However, that house may be needed to pay for long-term care for her in the future, and we might not inherit anything, which is fine.
My late father was 100% WWII DAV, and therefore paid no property tax in the state of New Jersey. As his widow, my mother enjoys that same benefit. Taxes on her house are somewhere in the vicinity of $12K - $15K, so it is not cost effective for her to put the house in someone else's name who will then have to pay that tax bill. None of my siblings are well off. I am OK, but I don't need a $15K property tax bill!
Sometimes it cannot be helped with the economy . Did you know there is not a state in the united states where a single person can afford a 2 bdr apt on their own even with a job ? yeah that is right . I would not turn my child away ever and no there is not a time limit obviously they need a place to live so no I would never turn away my kid .
I think that is great you would be willing to help. It's hard to afford rent on one income. I've done it, but it's not easy if you go through job transition and paying rent means having to make lots of sacrifices.
A woman I know in her 50s, was bragging (sounded that way) about how she was kicking her 18 year old son out of the house. He works as a bartender. She said, he's 18 and it's time for him to go. He has nowhere to turn and nobody who can take him in temporarily. This woman owes about 50 grand on department store credit cards and keeps spending away. It seems to me she could use some "tough love" herself, or at least a lecture about her poor spending habits. Instead she sees her son as being the one with all the problems.
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. And understandable.
