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Some people have very small private weddings. I personally think this is the way to go. Family and a couple very close friends is all I will be inviting.
Amen to this! A family member had a destination wedding and paid all lodging and most the food costs (rented a large, gorgeous villa) for the parents, sibling, and several very close friends. Bravo to them!
I heard it was a great time and nobody appeared slighted who wasn't invited. If they did, it certainly wasn't expressed as the type and size of a wedding is a very personal decision. As a matter of fact, some people were relieved.
I am seeing a trend toward smaller weddings but cost is not always the determining factor. Many people just don't want a circus and some people don't enjoy attending one. But people can do whatever floats their boat.
I'm assuming it was due to cost. Weddings these days are insanely expensive and if the bride and groom paid for it themselves (even if they didn't) they were probably trying to scale back. Some people don't want to invite every person they have ever known.
Obviously there are other possible reasons:
...It was a small destination wedding....family, very close friends only.
...Courthouse wedding, no reception.
...Family only
Definitely don't take it personally. He probably wanted a small wedding for personal or financial reasons and kept it close to the vest to avoid questions about receptions, showers and bachelor party's.
I'd still send a thoughtful congrats and gift to show you are happy for him. It may also open up communication where he'll share why the wedding was low key and be relieved that you are still friends despite not being invited.
Do you only send wedding invitations to people very close to you?
Hubby and I were poor graduate students when we were married. We figured out our guest list by whether or not we would pick up the dinner tab (including drinks) at an expensive restaurant for the person or couple if they were visiting us or were from out of town. Because, basically that is what you are really doing when you are paying for a wedding. Parents, siblings, aunts & uncles, a few cousins and very, very close friends "made the cut". Friends that we haven't seen in a couple of years? Nope.
Now, if we were filthy rich and throwing an enormous wedding work friends, all of our cousins and friends that we had not seen in a while may have "made the cut".
I once attended a wedding with perhaps 400 or so guests (the bride's parents paid for it). Perhaps 30 or more people just from her office attended. Some entire weddings are that size (30 guests).
I would have liked to have gone, but I was frankly puzzled that he didn't even notify the people from "back home" when it was happening, if only to send a congratulations. Another two friends were never notified either.
Do you only send wedding invitations to people very close to you?
Do you realize how expensive a wedding can be? For a traditional wedding reception, dinner and dance, the food can run a minimum of $80 a head, plus the cost of the bar tab and the dj. So, yeah most couples are only going to invite only family and close friends.
I understand your desire to be invited to a joyful celebration like that, but why would anyone invite casual friends or former classmates to their nuptials unless they were very wealthy? And if they didn't mail you a wedding announcement, maybe it was because it would seem like they were fishing for wedding presents. And since you are connected through Facebook, you should have known about their wedding from posts on his page.
I really wanted to be maid of honor in my closest friend's wedding. However, when she got engaged, she announced that her wedding would be just her and her husband, in a chapel. They flew to California to get married there, with no attendants, no guests. I was disappointed, of course, but I got over it.
I would bet that we've seen more threads started by people who resented being invited to a wedding for someone they weren't particularly close to or didn't know well (and may have seen it as a gift grab) than threads where someone is hurt and feeling left out by a lack of invitation.
I would bet that we've seen more threads started by people who resented being invited to a wedding for someone they weren't particularly close to or didn't know well (and may have seen it as a gift grab) than threads where someone is hurt and feeling left out by a lack of invitation.
We did not send any but we eloped.
There are many reasons why invitations were not sent to everyone for every wedding.
It is the choice of the Bride and Groom with many factors being considered.
Personally we do not attend a wedding unless it involves close family, otherwise we send a card and gift.
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