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Old 06-27-2017, 03:27 PM
 
1,825 posts, read 1,412,160 times
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A few weeks ago, my friend invited me to his girlfriend's birthday party. The party was planned to be on a boat. He told me that we have to pay $30 each for the boat. No problem.

Fast forward to two weeks later (last week). Five days before the party, my friend informs me and the group that in addition to the fee for the boat, we have to bring our own food AND our own booze. I thought to myself that was somewhat inconsiderate, but whatever, I have enough money for it.

Two days later he then informs me that his girlfriend has decided she wants it to be an all white party, meaning we could only wear white (shirts, pants, shoes). The thing is I don't own white shoes, white pants. I own a white button up shirt, with small blue dots, and he told me that I would have to buy a new shirt, because it has to be pure white, not color on them anywhere. That is what she wanted.

So once I realized the situation, that I would have to pay for the boat, bring my own food, bring my own booze, buy white shirt, shorts and shoes for this party, I decided not to go. Not because I don't have money, but because I didn't want to WASTE my money, especially since I am about to go a big vacation starting in July. I also thought it was extremely rude. I would have been okay if it was an all white party but they provided booze and food, or if we brought our own food and booze but could wear whatever we wanted. But I just felt this was ridiculous and so rude.

So I called my friend the day before and informed him that I was not going to go, and told him why. I told him I would still pay for the boat fee, but he told me he didn't want my money and that I was replaceable. Today he sent me text messages telling me how angry he was at me and I am and a terrible friend that we need to discuss the situation in person. I am kind of just like WTF? If one of my best friends didn't show up to my significant other's party, I wouldn't even care. We are 31 years old. Why are we acting like we are 16?

I am not even letting it phase me. I'll meet up to talk to him, but really not gonna get into it over something so stupid.

Am I being insensitive or is my friend really just being crazy dramatic?
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Old 06-27-2017, 03:29 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,754,614 times
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It sounds like he may be cracking under the pressure of trying to please his Kardashian-wannabe girlfriend.
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Old 06-27-2017, 03:31 PM
 
1,825 posts, read 1,412,160 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
It sounds like he may be cracking under the pressure of trying to please his Kardashian-wannabe girlfriend.
It's so funny you mention that. She looks just like her too.

Yeah it's definitely more her too. For my friend's birthday in March, we had to shell up $120 each for bar crawl that she planned, and also had us all pay for customized shirts for the bar crawl. Because it was for my friend, I paid it that time.

I just found it so rude and incosiderate to ask your guests of all that. He's clearly not seeing the picture here.
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Old 06-27-2017, 03:34 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,754,614 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by frimpter928 View Post
It's so funny you mention that. She looks just like her too.

Yeah it's definitely more her too. For my friend's birthday in March, we had to shell up $120 each for bar crawl that she planned, and also had us all pay for customized shirts for the bar crawl. Because it was for my friend, I paid it that time.

I just found it so rude and incosiderate to ask your guests of all that. He's clearly not seeing the picture here.
Depending on how close you are and how long you've been friends, I might give him a pass and talk to him after it's all over.

Yes, it's bad manners to throw a party and then insist that your guests provide the entire party.
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Old 06-27-2017, 03:35 PM
 
Location: Deep Dirty South
5,190 posts, read 5,322,930 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
It sounds like he may be cracking under the pressure of trying to please his Kardashian-wannabe girlfriend.
This will not only prove to be the most salient and well-spoken response in this thread, it has beaten out all other offerings on this week's internet.
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Old 06-27-2017, 03:36 PM
 
35,522 posts, read 17,818,962 times
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I agree with Wmsn4Life. It sounds like he's under a lot of pressure from the woman he wants to keep sleeping with.

Here's the deal. If you all decided to rent a boat just for a very fun get together, each paying $30 share of the boat rental and bringing food and drinks is absolutely acceptable. That's what friends do on a lake.

This is a hosted birthday party. That gets really tricky when he's asking his friends to foot the bill for his girlfriend's party. It's one thing to say BYOB (that's become the norm) or if you could please bring an appetizer that would be great, but to share equally in the entire expense is unacceptable.

THEN, to make everyone wear white is bizarre. It's very likely that the women invited can do this - wear all white including shoes - but how weird is that for all the guests to have to do that.

Your friend is in danger of losing sex with his squeeze if he is unable to force his friends into compliance. Maybe he deserves a little slack. ;D
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Old 06-27-2017, 03:36 PM
 
Location: SoCal again
20,707 posts, read 19,880,600 times
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Cut him a break, he is just trying to please his gf.


Would you rather have him spend $$$$$$$$$$$$ to pay for all the booze, food, and boat fee? Because clearly, she is a princess and would never provide it herself.
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Old 06-27-2017, 03:51 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,126 posts, read 107,381,087 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
It sounds like he may be cracking under the pressure of trying to please his Kardashian-wannabe girlfriend.
Yup. It sounds like the gf was making up rules on the fly, and waited 'til the last minute to suddenly decide there was a dress code.

Ridiculous. So, why was he mad? That part isn't clear.


BTW, he's in for a rocky ride if he's signing up with this woman long-term.
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Old 06-27-2017, 03:57 PM
 
1,825 posts, read 1,412,160 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
Depending on how close you are and how long you've been friends, I might give him a pass and talk to him after it's all over.

Yes, it's bad manners to throw a party and then insist that your guests provide the entire party.
Oh for sure. I am not even mad. I am willing to talk it out, I just don't understand why he is so angry.
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Old 06-27-2017, 04:00 PM
 
1,825 posts, read 1,412,160 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve View Post
Cut him a break, he is just trying to please his gf.


Would you rather have him spend $$$$$$$$$$$$ to pay for all the booze, food, and boat fee? Because clearly, she is a princess and would never provide it herself.
So I would never throw a bday party making my guests pay for things. The most I would is BYOB. If you want to party on a boat, coordinate with your friends to rent one out, and everything brings their own thing.

There is a difference of having your bday party in that manner (where people feel obligated to go) and coordinating with others to throw a party like that.

Fundamentally, I just don't understand why he is so angry. Again, if he didn't come to my significant other's bday party, I wouldn't be mad at all. I would be fine with it. I mean it's not like it's their wedding I am saying no to.
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