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Old 07-08-2017, 02:05 PM
 
16,564 posts, read 13,980,777 times
Reputation: 20517

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Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
Sorry, but yes, he can. We can tell someone to leave us alone, and if they don't they are harassing us at that point.


We are totally allowed to tell people to leave us alone and not speak to us.
True, but no judge in the country is going to give you a judgement for harassment for someone saying hi and bye at a social event. We are not talking about someone threatening the OPs safety right? Meanwhile, you would have proven how completely this person still controls your reactions.
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Old 07-08-2017, 02:13 PM
 
Location: Las Vegas
745 posts, read 562,948 times
Reputation: 1510
Block him on FB?
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Old 07-08-2017, 03:16 PM
 
16,988 posts, read 20,562,689 times
Reputation: 33950
Quote:
Originally Posted by lkb0714 View Post
Why would he stop when he keeps getting the reaction he wants? People who are happy and have moved on let go of their anger, and are pleasant and dismissive to those that used to anger them. Nothing will annoy him more than a vague, "hey" and a bland smile while the next person you great gets the full hug and an enthusiastic greeting. He will feel beneath your notice, which he should be.

By reacting in the negative you are proving he still has power over you. So fake it until you make it.

Spot on. Narcisissts want a reaction. Don't give it to them.

If need be you practice in front of a mirror looking ambivlent to seeing them. A quick short hello and you move on.

Why do you think narcissists hate holidays and other people's birthdays, and will often try and throw a wrench into the plans? It's not about them and so they get attention(negative attention is still attention for them) by screwing up the plans.

You give them no emotion and no reaction.
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Old 07-08-2017, 04:11 PM
 
6,433 posts, read 1,895,584 times
Reputation: 6086
When you see him, walk to the opposite side of the room.
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Old 07-08-2017, 05:25 PM
 
Location: Texas
9,090 posts, read 3,508,344 times
Reputation: 18851
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tornado Baby View Post
Block him on FB?
That is exactly what I would do. In fact, it's so easy to block someone that I have to wonder why the OP hasn't done this already. If someone is toxic or abusive, they shouldn't have access to seeing you on social media.
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Old 07-08-2017, 05:27 PM
 
Location: Texas
9,090 posts, read 3,508,344 times
Reputation: 18851
Quote:
Originally Posted by seain dublin View Post

Why do you think narcissists hate holidays and other people's birthdays, and will often try and throw a wrench into the plans? It's not about them and so they get attention(negative attention is still attention for them) by screwing up the plans..
This. They also create drama when someone else is getting married, having a baby or even at a funeral (which I've witnessed firsthand).
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Old 07-08-2017, 06:41 PM
 
2,074 posts, read 1,453,031 times
Reputation: 3317
Quote:
Originally Posted by heythere999 View Post
Long story short I had a horrible, horrible "friendship"/"relationship" with an emotionally abusive narcissist and I gave up trying to fight with him and our mutual friends last year. And that was probably the best decision I've ever made. Because since then, I've quit smoking, lost at least 50 lbs., grades went up, finally gained at least a slight sense of style, I finally became much more independent, became much more confident, started living for myself instead of others, hygiene drastically improved, etc.

I haven't seen him for almost a year. I clicked "going" on a FB event, then AFTER I clicked "going," he clicked it.

I know how he is. For the last 5 or so months he was involved in my life, any time he saw me, he would always try to greet me even when he didn't have to (aka no one was watching us to feel pressured into saying hi), when I've specifically told him to stop saying hi/bye to me. Because even that infuriates me. I don't want to say hi to him, I don't want to touch him, I don't want to acknowledge his existence. The last couple of months I would reject his hi's and roll my eyes and walk away! And he still does it every time.

Clearly, he loves seeing my negative reactions, otherwise he would stop. Because he obviously notices that him saying "hi" to me boils my ****ing blood, and that's not going to change. I want nothing to do with him. I've unfriended him on all social media and I absolutely never check up on his life, either.

I don't have a partner or anything but a bunch of my friends are going. And my life is 43948294829384x better than it's ever been so I'm pretty confident about going.

But how exactly should I act around him? Because I want him to know that I want him to never bother me, or to provoke reactions out of me, ever again.

Thanks!
Sounds like he's stalking you, in my opinion. Hello? What are you going to do? Walk the tightrope until something bad happens?
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Old 07-08-2017, 06:51 PM
 
13,369 posts, read 6,572,364 times
Reputation: 12808
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sassybluesy View Post
Seems like to me, if you want to convey the message that you're self-confident, and not bothered by him anymore, than be polite, like you would a near stranger.


What better way to get his goat, than to convey he has no control over your emotions?
This. Purposefully ignoring him is a reaction too.
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Old 07-08-2017, 07:18 PM
 
Location: Florida
153 posts, read 84,619 times
Reputation: 481
You stated he's been involved in your life for the past 5 months. I guess I would just continue to blow him off like you have been.

Given the accomplishments you have made, why waste time with eye rolls and determining how he's feeling? Just keep your safe distance/boundaries, and he won't have any impact on your successes.
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Old 07-08-2017, 08:42 PM
 
Location: Texas
9,090 posts, read 3,508,344 times
Reputation: 18851
Abusive people will say it's your reaction to their abuse that's the problem, not their own behavior.


If I were the OP, I'd get far away from this person, block on social media and stay away from other people and places where the person might be. Even if it means getting a new group of friends altogether.
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