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I am in college and have a group of 5 close friends from high school. We all go to different colleges, but still see each other with some frequency during the school year. 2 of them commute, and 4 of us dorm at colleges ~1 hr away. Now that it's summer we've been hanging out about once or twice a week and text via a group chat whenever we are not hanging out. We are all definitely the ball-busting types and like to make jokes about each other and make fun of each other's quirks, etc. However, I guess my personality comes off somewhat overbearing sometimes, so there is a running joke within the group that I am a child molester and a rapist and that I keep children locked in my basement. Obviously I don't do any of these things, and they know I don't, but it is still a joke that never seems to die. Both in person and in the group chat, this joke is referenced 20+ times a day, and I'm trying to be a good sport about it, but it is really starting to get old and annoying. I don't like being joked about this way either, because no one else in the group is joked about like this. Like every time a story comes out in the news about children being abducted or a woman being raped, they'll say, "That wasn't you, xxblue20, was it?" Or "Uh-oh, xxblue20, you've been caught!" The other day when we were hanging out, we were doing impressions of other people just as a joke, and one of the guys did an impression of my ex girlfriend, and it was her saying, "No! That was a very firm no I just gave you, xxblue20, I said please don't touch me! No!" I am joked about in this way about 20 times as much as everyone else, but I like what I have going with these guys. They all joke about it, but there are 2 guys in the group that are the ones that mainly do it. I just don't know how to approach it with those 2, because I know that they are only joking around and really don't think I am all of those things, but it's just getting excessive. Do you guys think I am too sensitive here or should I say something about it to them in private?
First of all, that is NOTHING to joke about! That's akin to walking into an airport and "joking" that you have a bomb in your bag!
You straightforwardly tell your so-called "friends" that such an allegation (yes, even jokingly) is a matter that's taken VERY SERIOUSLY in society! I would immediately disassociate myself if I were you, from these people, and if such was ever mentioned or heard again, you immediately report them to the administrative faculty! Child molestation/sex allegations are seriously investigated. I'm a CPS worker, so I know this firsthand.
Things like this can and possibly will get the jokers kicked out of school; it can also get them sued! It also makes my blood boil! If they are saying things like that, they are not your friends! This can get you in a LOT of trouble if the wrong people hear it. Protect yourself!
First of all, that is NOTHING to joke about! That's akin to walking into an airport and "joking" that you have a bomb in your bag!
You straightforwardly tell your so-called "friends" that such an allegation (yes, even jokingly) is a matter that's taken VERY SERIOUSLY in society! I would immediately disassociate myself if I were you, from these people, and if such was ever mentioned or heard again, you immediately report them to the administrative faculty! Child molestation/sex allegations are seriously investigated. I'm a CPS worker, so I know this firsthand.
Things like this can and possibly will get the jokers kicked out of school; it can also get them sued! It also makes my blood boil! If they are saying things like that, they are not your friends! This can get you in a LOT of trouble if the wrong people hear it. Protect yourself!
Guy, chill out lol. I appreciate you looking out for me, but I don't want to take such drastic measures. I just want to be able to tell them that that joke bothers me without being seen as a bad sport, because we all like to razz each other all the time
Guy, chill out lol. I appreciate you looking out for me, but I don't want to take such drastic measures. I just want to be able to tell them that that joke bothers me without being seen as a bad sport, because we all like to razz each other all the time
I understand that, but child molester/rapist stuff is absolutely nothing to make jokes about. People take that very seriously and if the wrong person hears it, things could be very bad - for you.
I understand that, but child molester/rapist stuff is absolutely nothing to make jokes about. People take that very seriously and if the wrong person hears it, things could be very bad - for you.
Yeah true. Might be feasible for me to tell them that.
Why did you become the mark for that joke? Did you date someone young, do you look like a serial killer, are you interested in strange stuff?
Most guys only bust chops or give nicknames based on something they see in the person so what about you says pedo? Figure it out and change it.
Yeah true. Might be feasible for me to tell them that.
Jokes are jokes but if they are really good friends they should be able to get it if you take them aside and tell them seriously that this could really make trouble for you
These guys are sick. Figure out why they're making these jokes, and tell them firmly and in no uncertain terms that this is NOT funny and they're accusing you of something highly illegal. If they continue, kick 'em off your mountain.
Jeez. I thought I'd seen it all, but then I joined CD.
I raised boys who had a lot of friends that practically lived at my house and some of them will do that. They'll give a nickname that sticks and doesn't go away. You've got to stop it now so that nickname doesn't follow you as you get older. I would keep it light but tell them to stop and continue telling them because someone outside of your circle of friends may overhear and not understand.
My boys are grown with families of their own now. Recently my son mentioned that he ran into his old friend Greg.. and I asked which one so he told me the last name but I still couldn't figure out who he was. So he said, 'the head stomper'.. and I knew right away who he meant because that's what they referred to him as in high school and all the while he was growing up. The nickname evolved from an innocent action on Greg's part. They had all gone camping, Greg stumbled in the dark and almost stepped on someones head and from that incident it blew up into the head stomping nickname. Anyone who didn't know the whole story would always ask Greg why they called him the head stomper. They all thought it was funny at the time, but Greg had to explain how that nickname started many a time and I'm sure it got old for him having to repeat it.
If someone were to be referred to as a child molester or rapist.. I don't think many would ask how that story came about. I know I wouldn't.. I'd probably stay as far away from you as I could.
You don't want to go through life being identified as the child molester or rapist.
I know why they called that particular friend 'the head stomper'... but I'm curious as to why they started calling you rapist and/or child molester.
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